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Wednesday, February 28, 2007

A New Art Form

Hogan's Alley, R. F. Outcault, from the colored supplement of The World, May 17, 1896


The transistion into the twentieth century brought spectacular and profound changes to American soceity, changes that gave it vitality. It was the era of the Progressives and "Fighting Bob" La Follette; the bitter war against monopolies and trusts; Socialist, Suffragettes, and Society; Teddy Roosevelt; the Panama Canal; the Chautauqua; the nouveau riche and the American plutocracy; muckrakers, magnates, and Maxfield Parrish prints; technological explosion; the wonder of the cranked telephone; the magic of electric lights and the talking machine: with the fragile wax cylinder whirling, "...everyone works at our house but my ole man!"; Jack London, James J. Jeffries, and William Jennings Bryan; the horseless carriage giving way to the automobile; the miracle of moving pictures and the flight at Kitty Hawk. Above all, it was the era of European emigration of the Irish, Germans, Russians, Swedes, Italians, Catholics, and Jews--whose strange customs and accents were the delight of vaudeville comedians--all participating in the great, gorgeous, bubbling melting pot--the continuing American experiment.

This was the cultural stew that nourished a new American art form which proved to be of unprecedented vigor and longevity: the comic strip. William Laas in the Saturday Review Of Literature observed: "The comic strip is one of the liveliests cultural offshoots of our slam-bang civilization." America and the comic strip were made for each other.

- Jerry Robinson, The Comics: An Illustrated History Of Comic Strip Art

Image taken from The Yellow Kid On The Paper Stage website.

The Thrift Store Find Of The Week

Q: What do you get when you spend ample amounts of time, rifling through other people's stuff, at various consignment and thrift stores?

A: Besides a new fangled hipster style, you also come across things like a Good to Very Good edition of Jerry Robinson's The Comics: An Illustrated History Of Comic Strip Art for under $2.



The Front Cover


The Back Cover


This thing is HUGE. You could use it to bludgeon someone to death. Hell, even Silver Age Baton Twirling Daredevil is dismayed by the size of the thing!



That's right. This gem from 1974 by the guy who created the Joker just fell into my lap. While looking for used Anne Rice vampire novels and Microwave cooking books, the words "The Comics" just shot out at me! At first, I was a bit dismayed because I couldn't see Spider-man or Superman anywhere on the cover, but I decided that anything by Jerry Robinson must involve at least one panel of a homo-erotic Golden Age Batman & Robin scene. So I bought the damn thing.

And take a look at who contributed to this book!



I don't even know who half of these people are, but at least one of them must have worked on an issue of the Avengers at SOME point in their life, right? Didn't the guy who created snoopy used to ghost for Jack Kirby on those monster books? Looks like we'll have to read the book to find out.

Jealous much, guys? I thought so!

Tuesday, February 27, 2007

Get Your Civil War On - The Confession

Thank God we made it through that alive. Now that Civil War is done, so to can we put to rest Get Your Civil War On. Although it has been fun and probably made me laugh more than anyone else, this last round of scrutinization of the Marvel U. really took some energy out of me. If you thought reading Civil War was hard, try spending several Sundays in front of your computer, dissecting the whole damn thing through horrible jokes and lazy photoshop skills. Its not easy, let me tell YOU.

With that being said, there are a few things I want to say and/or apologize for:

My photoshop skills. They are weak, especially when I am cursed with only Photoshop Elements. No longer having to agonize over the ugly word balloons I created is a welcome relief. When I do something like this again, I'll have illustrator at my disposal, ready with the Pen tool.

The jokes. You take the good with the bad, even when there's a lot of bad. A good number of these jokes should have been put to rest long before they graced your computer screen, however I made a little promise not to censor myself so much for fear of stifling the good ones. Had I done so, we would probably be left with 3 strips which is not exactly prolific. So I padded the hell out of them!

I remember when I first pushed publish, I was a little scared. One, because I was worried how everyone would take my oddball sense of humor. Two, I figured somebody had already done a spoof on Get Your War On for Civil War. And three, that everyone was going to jump down my throat, calling me a big ol' homo-phobe because of how Cap and Tony's relationship/break up played out. As if I was coming out and saying "All gay relationships are abusive, manipulative and result in sexually transmitted diseases." Which I wasn't, despite what that one person in LiveJournal said. Civil War at its core seemed like this huge break up. Cap and Tony were the lovers who now found themselves on the outs with each other and were now fighting over personal possessions they had accumulated together. All those jokes about bogarting flagship characters and Veronica Mars DVDs were simply stolen from some of the uglier break ups I myself have dealt with. Cap getting beat up by Tony was just a way to play off the beating in issue 4 as well as highlight Tony's assholeness. And the Peter Parker giving Tony the clap really was just a funny joke that I stumbled upon quite accidentally. Had Marvel ever decided on making a female character worthy enough to lead a charge in something like this, the jokes would have been the same, except with a set of breasts attached. Unfortunately, Marvel has never been the kindest when it comes to women and affording them a place of status where the decisions that Tony and Cap were making throughout this whole ordeal would carry the same amount of weight, story wise.

Let's just say that everything is Joe Quesada's fault and be done with it.

Extra special thanks to Dorian over at Postmodern Barney. Had he not linked me in the beginning, this little gag fest would have probably gone largely unnoticed. If anything, you can blame him. Please read his blog on the daily basis as it is much, much better than mine.

All in all, the whole thing was a blast and I'm hoping to have some free time in the future to make some more web comics like this. Thank you to everyone that read, commented, entered the contest, and linked to the strips.

*cyber-hugs*

Get Your Civil War On - Link Round Up

Get Your Civil War On # 1

Get Your Civil War On # 2

Get Your Civil War On # 3

Get Your Civil War On # 4

Get Your Civil War On # 5

Get Your Civil War On # 6

Get Your Civil War On # 7

Get Your Civil War On # 8

Punisher War Blog - a GYCWO tie-in

The New Thunderbolts: Justice Through Nipple Clamps - A GYCWO tie-in

Get Your Civil War On # 9

Get Your Civil War On # 10

Get Your Civil War On # 11

House Of Forever Yesterday: A GYCWO tie-in

Get Your Civil War On # 12

Get Your Civil War On # 13

Get Your Civil War On: The Decompression

Get Your Civil War On Contest Winners

Monday, February 26, 2007

Get Your Civil War On - The Contest Winners!

I want to thank everyone for submitting their results for the Get Your Civil War On contest. For those who are just tuning in, we had a little contest where readers submitted some of their GYCWO jokes to me with one person being chosen to have that joke created for all of you to see. The winner also gets lots of good stuff. Had some good entries, so I decided to give out 2nd and 3rd place prizes as well.

Without further adieu....

3rd Place Winner:



Carla from Snap Judgements and the 5th Color column at Blog @ NewsArama. I really liked the "internet forum debate" line alot. Calling Spider-man "emo" should be taboo, but it appears that's what Marvel wants from us fans. She wins a copy of Hench and the first Rising Stars trade. A comic by JMS? Is that even a prize? Thanks for entering, Carla!

2nd place winner:



2nd place goes to Sean Kleefield, who has a blog right here that needs to be read by everyone. Sean entered this piece, which cracked me up with the Danny Rand/Natasha Romanov joke. In true GYCWO fashion, he taps into all the sexy good times that come when heroes decided to team up and fight stuff. What do you win, Sean? American Born Chinese and the first two Animal Man trades!

And of course...

1st Place Winner:





Jon Hex came through with a few strips, these two being the best. Even in prison, Cap has no time for Speedball. And Tony Stark? Still a dick. Jon Hex put a nice little finishing touch on the end of all this GYCWO business that stayed true to the issue at hand: What happens next? Will Robbie Baldin ever get respect from Captain America in the yard? Will Tony and She-Hulk bicker with each other over the direction of the Post-GYCWO Marvel U? Regardless of what happens, Jon Hex will probably be just as upset about it as the rest of us are. For his contribution to GYCWO, Jon wins the first three Y: The Last Man TPBs, Sudden Gravity TPB, Shadow "Blood And Justice" TPB(by Howard Chaykin! Out Of Print!) and the Brian Posehn "Nerd Rage" CD. Congratulations, Jon!

Thank you to everyone for entering! As for the winners, you should be receiving an email shortly from me. Thank again!

Friday, February 23, 2007

The Last Day To Enter The GYCWO contest!

That's right! Enter our contest and you might have the holy honor of making others cringe with your bad humor! It's that simple!

What do you do? Make up your own Get Your Civil War On strip!

What do you win? Lots of stuff!

Y: The Last Man "Unmanned" vol 1 TPB
Y: The Last Man "Cycles" vol 2 TPB
Y: The Last Man "One Small Step" vol 3 TPB
Sudden Gravity TPB
Brian Posehn "Nerd Rage" CD

Shadow "Blood And Justice" TPB(by Howard Chaykin! Out Of Print!)

I might even throw in an extra comic or so in there. I haven't decided yet. Click here for all the details.

The deadline is today with the winner being announced on Monday, February 26th. Good luck!

Thursday, February 22, 2007

The Finale!!! Get Your Civil War On: The Decompression

The Civil War is over! The arguing and bickering has come to an end! The Nation's greatest symbol of hope and freedom, Captain America, is in jail! What will he do now?!

He'll pick up that phone for one last call, in....

Get Your Civil War On: The Decompression!

(click to make bigger and read.)










Its a cheap joke and I know it, but there was no way we could have made it through without resorting to knocking the decompression that Bendis is so well known for.

With that being said, don't forget to enter the contest! We got stuff for you to win!

Email your entry to me at Spencercarnage@gmail.com! We'll have our winner posted on Monday! Thanks for reading!

Wednesday, February 21, 2007

Speaking of Furry Cat Thingies...


I may or may not have roleplayed a session of Marvel Super Heroes RPG where my hockey-themed super hero character "Slasher" pimped himself some Tigra 'tang.

...

What?

I was like, 12, and all jacked up on Cola and Dorritos. You would have done the same.

Get Your Civil War On # 13

(Marvel readers: High five yourselves! DC readers: Burn!)





NEXT: The final installment! Cap and Tony have it out one last time in........Civil War: The Decompression!

PREVIOUS: Get Your Civil War On # 12

Tuesday, February 20, 2007

The Of Course, Yeah Rampage!

From Newsarama's preview of Civil War # 7:

I'm almost sad to see it end...

McNiven draws the best Sue Storm...EVER.

His furry cat-boobs aren't bad either..

Tony must die! Please, please, please..

Anyone think that Cloak is gonna bite it?? I know a lot of things point towards Cap, but they've also said repeatedly that they wouldnt kill off a Major character..
....but then again they already killed a black dude.. so maybe Cloak and Falcon are safe..

Two black dudes: Night Thrasher died in issue #1. If Millar kills three black character's in 7 issues I don't think Marvel would ever live it down.


Poor Night Thrasher and Goliath. Just more "black dudes" that died in order to add "weight" to a story. For some reason, I have a feeling the dead body at the end of all of this is going to be Falcon. From what I've seen of the solicitations, there is no mention of Falcon Post-Civil War. Its a shame really, because I have really grown to like him from his short stint in Brubaker's Captain America and Civil War.

Get Your Civil War On # 12

(click, read, and then discuss my awesome genius and/or complete idiocy amongest yourselves)






Take that, femi-blogazis! Boys rule, girls drool! Check wikipedia if you don't believe me!

NEXT: MARVEL VS DC, Round Two!

PREVIOUS: House Of Forever Yesterday - a GYCWO tie-in

Monday, February 19, 2007

House Of Forever Yesterday - a GYCWO tie-in *

(It doesn't really make that much sense to me either, but....)



NEXT: Cap and Tony remind us of the real Civil War...MARVEL VS. DC!!!!

PREVIOUS: Get Your Civil War On # 11

Friday, February 16, 2007

What are you waiting for? There's a contest! Enter!

That's right. The Get Your Civil War On contest!

"What do I have to do?"

Make your own Get Your Civil War On strip! Its that simple!

"Well, what do I win?"

Y: The Last Man "Unmanned" vol 1 TPB
Y: The Last Man "Cycles" vol 2 TPB
Y: The Last Man "One Small Step" vol 3 TPB
Sudden Gravity TPB
Brian Posehn "Nerd Rage" CD
Shadow "Blood And Justice" TPB(by Howard Chaykin! Out Of Print!)

"That's awesome! What are the details?"

Good question! click
here!

"I don't know. I don't know if I'm really all that funny."

Me neither! That doesn't stop me!

"Maybe it should. Have you even read the new ones that you made? Horrible. "

Screw you! Why don't you write one for me and win some free stuff?!

"Okay! "

Enter! (details here)

Get Your Civil War On # 11

(click to make bigger, read, and then tell all your cyber-friends)






NEXT: Did that just really happen? Stay tuned for House Of Forever Yesterday!

PREVIOUS: Get Your Civil War On # 10

Thursday, February 15, 2007

Wednesday, February 14, 2007

Interesting Things Learned From Old Comics: Amazing Spider-man # 356 & 357

Super heroes need love, too.


Especially after a tussle with the Secret Empire. Right guys?



That's right, Peter! Show all us fan boys how a nerd loves a red headed model! Yeah!



Put down your quest for vengeance and give in to the supple curves that are Marlene's hips and thighs.... The Fist Of Knonshu propels you...




No rest for you, Night Thrasher--!



You were created in the 90s--!



Your parents were killed by criminals--! The sweet piece of teleporting ass standing behind you can just wait until for her man to gets out all that rage--!



Night Thrash the pain away, Dwayne.... Night Thrash the pain away...

Words by Al Milgrom, art by Mark Bagley, Randy Emberlin, Joe Rosen, Bob Sharen, and Eric Fein.

Get Your Civil War On # 9

(click, read, close... click, read, close.... click, read, close....)





NEXT: Matt Offers Peter Parker some sound advice on the subject of exposing one's secret identity.

PREVIOUS: The New Thunderbolts: Justice Through Nipple Clamps - a GYCWO Tie-in!

Tuesday, February 13, 2007

Blogging About Blogging Is Sexy

After trying to keep my Blog firmly planted in the Bronze Age sensibility of blogging by refusing to fully embrace Web 2.0, Blogger Jim-Shootered my ass into getting with the program. Fortunately, Editorial Mandated Changes brings us Labels, special clicky arrows, and a photo uploading function that works way better than it did before. UN-fortunately, my feed is in complete disarray without any focus or direction that is causing the few readers to unintentionally drop the blog. If you're getting that [!] over at Bloglines, please resubscribe using this URL: http://ofcourseyeah.blogspot.com/feeds/posts/default Thank you.

While we're at it, you might see an array of old posts popping up in flashbacks as they get retconned to reflect the new label system.

Hugs and Kisses,
Spencer D. Carnage

The New Thunderbolts - Justice Through Nipple Clamps - a GYCWO Tie-in!

(Click to make big and read)





Next: Matt Murdock checks in on his boy Danny Rand!

Previous: Punisher War Blog - a GYCWO tie-in

Dont forget to enter the GYCWO Contest!

Monday, February 12, 2007

Annoucement!

2 Guys Buying Comics is back!

Make sure to update your feed engines accordingly...

Get Your Civil War On: The Return... and a contest?

First and foremost, I want thank you all for your patience these past few weeks in waiting for the next installment of Get Your Civil War On. The last image has been scanned. The jokes are done and are much more awful than they were last time. What's to come will probably be some of stupidest jokes you have read this side of a Twisted ToyFare Theatre. However, when held in comparison to what Marvel is currently putting out as CUTTING! EDGE! SUPERHERO! COMICS!, it will seem down right brilliant. What can you expect?

The New Thunderbolts: Justice Through Nipple Clamps!

Matt Murdock Drunk Dialing!

The Sorceror Supreme!

Black Captain America!

The Real Civil War! (The one we ALL should be fighting!)


and more!

In case you are not up to speed, please feel free to read what we have completed so far of Get Your Civil War On by clicking the following links.

Get Your Civil War On # 1
Get Your Civil War On # 2
Get Your Civil War On # 3
Get Your Civil War On # 4
Get Your Civil War On # 5
Get Your Civil War On # 6
Get Your Civil War On # 7
Get Your Civil War On # 8
Punisher War Blog - a GYCWO tie-in


and now..........a GYCWO Contest!!!

Who wants to win free stuff? To celebrate the next and final phase of Get Your Civil War On, we are going to have a contest! What's the contest? Make your own Get Your Civil War On 3 panel strip! Whoever makes the best will win stuff! Its that's easy! Just come up with a script for a 3 panel Get Your Civil War On strip and send them to me via at spencercarnage@gmail.com. I'll review them to see which one I think is the best and then make the strip for you which will showcased at the end of all of this! The current crop of characters are at your disposable:

Steve Rogers
Tony Stark
Matt Murdock
Natasha Romanov
Peter Parker
Mary Janes
Stephen Strange
Luke Cage
Robbie Baldwin

Punisher War Blog

Why those characters? Because those are the ones that I have images for! If you have a character that you want to use, Marvel OR DC, and you have the appropriate scan, please send it along with your script. As you can see, the format for all these(which I stole from Get Your War On) is basically a bunch of phone calls back and forth to each other where each character harps on this whole Civil War business. But don't let that limit you. If you feel the need to have Batman call in and give Tony Stark an earful, send the scan and script to me and I'll take it from there. Hell, if you want, make your own strip and submit it! Its okay if it looks a little bit amateurish! Lord knows mine do! So send them into me at spencercarnage@gmail.com!

"What?! Why would we do your job for you?! What's in it for us?!"

Excellent question, my friend! And the answer involves two words that I'm sure you will agree go very well together. Free comics! (And a Brian Posehn CD!) Which free comics? These ones!:


Y: The Last Man "Unmanned" vol 1 TPB
Y: The Last Man "Cycles" vol 2 TPB
Y: The Last Man "One Small Step" vol 3 TPB
Sudden Gravity TPB
Brian Posehn "Nerd Rage" CD

Shadow "Blood And Justice" TPB(by Howard Chaykin! Out Of Print!)


Some of these are decent comics that I didn't enjoy enough to keep as a permanent part of my collection. Some are really excellent and are being used to make this stupid contest something worthy of entering. Either way, they deserve a good home so why not give them away? Remember: due to the fact that all of these have been used before, they are probably in Good to Very Good condition. Sorry, but that's just how I read my comics. No, they are not damaged heavily, just maybe a severe wrinkle or two here and there. I am currently in the process of getting rid of some excess stuff so I figured what better way to to get rid than to have ourselves a little contest. We may have something for those runner up entries as well. Stay tuned!

The deadline will be Friday, February 23rd. The winner will be announced on Monday, February 26th. Good luck!

Friday, February 09, 2007

So you wanna blog about comics, eh?

Now you know how to blog. Great. But what about being a real live comic book blogger? How does one go about doing that? Have no fear, friends. Spencer D. Carnage is here to instruct you in the way.




Walk tall and carry a polarizing stick
We all have our opinions. That's a known fact proven with science. What we all don't have are a lot of readers for our blogs. How can you fix that? By polarizing! Nothing beats a review of the newest issue of Amazing Spider-man like a polarizing opinion. To illustrated my point, I'm going to provide two reviews of an imaginary issue of Amazing Spider-man starring Solo, Cardiac, and a new made up villianess Relapse(who has the ability to control the biological processes in other people's bodies! TM!):

Non-polarizing opinion:
ASM # 632 is a pretty decent read. It gets a little wonky at the end when Solo shows up to help Spiderman fight off Cardiac and Relapse. Fills like it was rushed on the art and all that decompression about Peter Parker's new role as a PE coach left little time for some onscreen fighting. However, there is one issue left of the arc, so I figure I'm invested this much.....might as well pick it up and see how it ends. Eh.
ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ. Here's how you properly write that review.

Polarizing Opinion:
Dude! WTF?! Solo!? THAT ASSWIPE?!?! Fry all but one of my brain cells and I could still come up with better crap than that! You know what would have made this issue good? If Spider-man quit wasting time moping about life as Peter Parker and started delivering more double whammy webbed up punches to Cardiac's head and then ran the Spider-Mobile over Relapse just because she had the gall to wear Red, Green, and Purple in public! Give me an issue with Spider-man web-fisted-punching and Spider-Mobile hit-and-running and I will show you camera phone pics of me having sex with it. Are you listening, Marvel?! Can you handle the Spider-Mobile Hit-And-Run action that I'm throwing out here?! God, I hate comics so much sometimes, after reading a comic like this, its just I-...I-...I WANNA QUIT READING COMICS!!!!! YES!!!!! THAT'S IT!!!!! I'M DONE WITH COMICS!!!! IN YOUR FACE, MARVEL!!!!! HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!!!!
That's what I call a polarizing opinion. You read that and all you can say is "Oh hell yeah, brother. Spider-mobile Hit-And-Run? I'd buy THAT comic. From now on, your blog is the first blog I read every morning at work!" That or "Dude, this guy is all wack......I better keep reading. And leave a comment. Yeah!" Need I say more?

Pretty the place up
Buy a scanner and scan your whole collection. As fans of visual narrative, it is imperative that you post pictures from comics that you are blogging about. If we wanted to read text, we'd buy books! But we don't! We buy comics! So put some pictures next to those words! 'Nuff said!

When in doubt, whip it out
Your back issues, I mean! (Pervert.) If there one thing that comic book readers absolutely LOVE, LOVE, LOVE! its ollllllllld comics. And not just any old crop of comics. Specifically, Silver Age Comics. Golden Age comics work great, too. Nothing makes for a great post like some scanned panels from Sissy Lou Candy Fun # 253 and The Righteous Rifle Brigade Winter Special '72. Behind that wilted cover of Dr. Nuclear # 3 lies some of the most far out, grooviliscious, hackneyed pages involving Magenta Nega Rays, a Danish aerobics instructer named Irma, Saw wielding Fight-o Bots, Boddhisatva, and a suggestive drawing of bananas. And that's just the 2 page origin! Posting those panels will instantly garner you a stable crop of readers, just begging for more! Entire blogs are run on the commentary of the comics from days gone by alone. Not only can we revisit the good old days, but we can finally talk about that one thing that has been so elusive in the comics coming out today: Fun!

In your stupid face, Modern Comics!

Don't read Manga!
Why? Because Manga is not comics! Next!

Keep on top of the topical
In this day and age of hype upon hype upon hype, it makes sense that you stay in touch with what's going on in comic book news. Whether its about the newest crossover, creative change, or sexual harrassment at the con, it pays to be on the up and up. As much as us comic book readers love to read about these changes over at NewsArama and the Pulse, it excites us to no end to read what our favorite bloggers have to say about these developments. With emotions that range from utter disgust to sheer delight, your thoughts on the newest summer blockbuster comic with super star artist and writer attached is fodder for good blog posting. As guys like Joe Quesada and Erik Larsen start running weekly columns, you have a guaranteed source of blogging material for you to pick apart and talk about at length. Given some time and luck, someone else will blog about what you said, further the discussion even more and most importantly....getting you more hits! Isn't that what this is all about anyways?

Just Imagine Spencer Carnage.....
Here, we talk about the two Xs of comic book blogging. And we're not talking about the X-men and Lex Luthor, folks. No, We're talking about Remix and Context!

Sometimes just posting a panel isn't enough to convey how you feel about it. What you need to do is come up with your own witty Remix. Taking a few pages and throwing your own hilarious dialogue over it makes for a great read. One of the greatest ways to mock a current issue on the stands that you do not like is to reimagine the dialogue with jokes about how crappy that comic is. What was just a boring ol' page of Superman and Batman discussing the current dilemma that they face and how they're going to solve it now becomes a page where the two discuss how they secretly want to bang each other.

Which brings us to the our next X....Context! Even better than just remixing the word balloons to say how much Batman and Supes want to shag like wild dogs is taking those panels and using them out of context to show that they in fact DO love each other. Just post the picture and let it speak for itself(with additional snarky commentary, of course.) Once you hit that [POST] button, just sit back and watch the comments roll in...

Start and/or participate in a meme
Speaking of remix, what's Steve Rogers typing on his computer?



Is he updating his myspace profile? Trying to find love in the Casual Encounters section of the Houston, TX Craigs List site? Playing minesweeper? WHAT IS GOING ON!?!? I don't know. You tell me.

And that, my friends, is how a meme works.

Linking is your friend
According to Technorati, the number one source of information on the current state of blogging, the more you get linked, the more popular you are. But whose going to link to your new comic book blog if no one really knows you're there? How DO you get the word out?

Link to other bloggers.

Bloggers, by nature, are vain and dramatically self-obsessesed. And no blogger can resist the temptation to follow a link to their site from someone else's, if only to see what the hoopla's all about. If your blogging is banging, they just might leave a comment or two, congratulating you on a job well done for linking them. If you're lucky, you could find yourself on their own "blogroll", increasing your blog status by exactly one link. This back and forth between bloggers is what separates us from the rest of the folks who still maintain their crappy geocities homepages.

Google is your friend, too
And not because they can serve up to 22,600,000+ results for 'spiderman' in 0.0538 seconds. No. Google can tell you how people came to your site and what search terms they used to get there. Considering that 83.6821% of the users on the World Wide Web are perverts, most of these searches will be dirty in nature and not suitable for your mother. Some posts consists of nothing but asisine search terms that people used to find your blog. Examples such as, but not limited to:

Superman Gets Busy Radio Shack
Superman Hugs Bunny Love
Superman Necro Variant Cover Make Me Millions
Superman Depends On Batman Depends Underwear
Superman Sodomy Kryptonite
Superman Tasteful Nudes
Superman Chinese Mp3 Paris Hilton Video
Superman On Superman Mud Wrestling


By reading that list, you would never assume that those are all Google searches that lead to a post about Action Comics # 493! Just like that, unsuspecting pervs searching Google have found your blog. And by posting the funny results, you perpetuate the cycle for the next time that someone types "Superman Depends On Batman Depends Underwear." Its almost like these blogs blog themselves!


Find yourself a mascot
In the world of comics, there are a great many characters for us to find ourselves enamored to. Everyone love Spider-man, but what about Forbush man? Where's his love? Right on your blog, that's where. When the casual readers stops by and sees Forbush man, along with a couple panels talking about how bitching and kick ass he REALLY is, the cold, cold hearts inside your average comic book reader will defrost just a bit. Who knows? Maybe they love Forbush man, too. Lord knows that I do. Scipio made it work with Vibe. Brian Hughes is bringing the non-stop Modok love. And you don't have to use some Reject like D-Man or the Red Bee. BeaucoupKevin has the whole Kirby Catalogue pretty much. However, for maximum effectiveness, lovable losers are always a sure fire win.

I call dibs on Star Thief!

Adopt a Running Theme
Just like the mascot, themes are excellent. Whether its Guy Gardner week at Dave's Long Box or the non stop face kicking over at the Invincible Super Blog, themes help us to appreciate the zany things that you can only see in comic books. Wanna show some love for our distant cousins, the apes? Have a theme week. Hip to crossovers featuring Batman? Have a theme week. Think Wolverine is uber wack and you want to prove it to the world? Have a theme week. Like the aforementioned Invisible Super-Blog, you don't have to limit it to just one week. When ever you see a dude getting rock-a-shocked in the face by someone's boot or you feel like your mind is being blown, you know your in Chris Sim's house. Whose house?! SIM'S HOUSE!!

The most important thing to remember about having a Running Theme: Stick with it!

Nobody cares about your life
Unless of course comics are your life. Then we care. Even if comics are your life, there are other things that out there in which you probably have same kind of fanboyish(or girlish!) obsession for that you might want to post about occasionally. In all honesty, spare us! In the comic book blogo-a-hydron, we only want to read about comics. Its a proven fact that anytime you stray from the matter at hand(COMICS!), you lose us all. And losing us means you lose one of the only things that matter in comic book blogging: comments! Non-comic book related blog posts have been shown to reduce commenting by approximately 73 to 99.9%. Your comic blog readers will flock away in droves for other blogs that allow them to comment on the things that they love: comics!




That's all for today! Of course this doesn't cover everything, but its enough to guarantee at least 3-5 comments a month which should be enough to keep you going until you realize that blogging does absolutely nothing substantial for you in the Real World, resulting in quiting for other things like lurking, commenting, and message board posting. Until then, good luck!

Thank Goodness Its A New Joe Friday

Sales are up! High fives for all you creators! Keep up the good work and keep producing material that will be equal to or (dare we say....) RIVAL Watchmen and Dark Knight Returns!

It is a good time for comics and damn on anyone who says otherwise! We are living in a comic book renaissance right now! Comics is gripping and totally like a mirror being held up to real life! Stan Lee would be so proud!

Hey, Newsarama! Thanks for being our biggest fanboy!

The kids are buying so we must be doing something right! If someone dies, its for a great, creative reasons and NOT to sell more books! Though we like to sell more books!

We brought back Captain Marvel because it made sense for the story! Speedball needs to undergo S & M treatment! If it services the character and tells an entertaining story, we'll do it!

Spider-man and MJ shouldn't be together! Why?! So we can tell more thrilling, engaging stories about Peter Parker showing up late for a date because he was too busy fighting the Dino Tamer Man From A Day Back When! Sense shattering!

The interfret thinks we're dumb, but why are our numbers so high!? Stupid interfret! Just sit back and wait! Here's a picture of Spider-man doing something vague that's related to the next big Spidey-crossover 3 years from now! Look! Intriguing........!

Want more spoilers!? Can't tell you, but maybe you should buy more Marvel comics, ya think!?

See ya next week!

Interesting Observations Made From Old Comics: Captain America Annual # 8 pt. 3




Nuclear Bombs freak little kids out!



Words by Mark Gruenwald with art by Mike Zeck and John Beatty

Tuesday, February 06, 2007

Interesting Observations Made From Old Comics: Captain America Annual # 8 pt. 2




Even a total bad @ZZ!!! like Wolverine has feelings.


Words by Mark Gruenwald with art by Mike Zeck and John Beatty