Grant Morrison's Authority

With the news of Grant Morrison's move to Authority with Gene Ha, it is safe to say that we might have us a good Authority book again. Makes me wonder with the idea-o-matic machine that is Grant Morrison, what kind of kooky things can he cook up? Using my amazing powers of Total Recall, let's take a look into the past to see what the future may bring....

I've also wanted to do a modern Sinbad or Jason and the Argonauts type story, of a magical sea voyage for some time. My last attempt was the rejected Authority graphic novel pitch, “Hard,” featuring an all-gay Authority ten years in the future and a mad journey into the Bleed reefs to return the Carrier's 'baby universe' engine - now an unruly teenage universe - to the cosmic spawning grounds where it can get laid without destroying the world...

The future is now.

(somewhere in the perverted annals of my mind, there's a photoshopped picture of the carrier ship getting its freak on Morrison style while the Authority looks on with approval just waiting to happen, but....I just don't know if I have it in me today.)

Someone really should tell the Beat about this one...

...but Heidi does not post her email address over at her yonder page and even though she's on the myspace and I could probably just be all "hey let's be friends and btw, here's a crazy link that would be perfect for the Beat, oh and Thanx for the Add" that would entail too much work and creepiness on my part, so....here you go.

Wonder what Rob Schrab from S.C.U.D.: Disposable Assassin infamy has been up to? If these videos are any indictator, its smoking, injecting, and eating lots and lots and lots of drugs. Twigger's Holiday is a children's TV show done much too wrong. NSFW, for sure.

Then again, maybe everyone knows about these. I just came across them at TransBuddha.com and was like woah. Plenty of more goodness from TransBuddha, just click that link.

Warning: This is a serious post about comics!

This morning I was having a lovely grand time in my perusal of thine finer blogs of the World Wide Web, when I found myself over at the Great Curve. Those fine young chaps where so kind enough as to provide me with a link to some of thee forthcoming Graphic Novellas from Penguin Classics.

Upon viewing the future prospects from Penguin Classics, I laid mine eyes upon this work of art and splendor:



Although I am completely unawares as to what The New York Trilogy by Paul Auster with a cover by Art Spiegelman is about, I have read City Of Glass by Paul Karasik and David Mazzuchelli's and.....wait a second.....reading, reading, reading......googling..........reading, reading, reading..........becoming frustrated.....googling......reading........reading, reading, reading, oh fuck me.

These aren't comics at all. These are BOOKS. And not BOOKS ABOUT COMICS, but regular old BOOKS.

Double You Tee Eff Question Mark Question Mark Question Mark Exclamation Point Question Mark.

fine, fine, I'll do it..

If only for the sake of Leigh and Chris, who threatened to take away my blogging license.

Always remember:







Many thanks to Dorian for getting this whole thing started.

Which G.I. Joe are you?

You are Flint!

The only reason you're not running the show is because
you're too busy hotdogging and flirting with the ladies
for that kind of shit. Besides, that's what Duke is for!
You don't need no kind of silent ninja mystique to make
you cool. Hells to the no! You wear a beret and that

shit looks good! Falcon be trying to come up on your

steez with that Don Johnson voice and he's STILL

a clown. Go find a Viper and punch him right
in his serpent face. Why? Because you're Flint.

Which G.I. Joe are you?

Breaking the Silence

As of late, the comic book reading internet has been set ablaze with talk of sexual harassment against women in the industry. Ignited by a very courageous woman over at Buzzscope.com, it seemed like only a manner of seconds before everyone stood up and added fuel to what appears to be an ever growing inferno. Should the culprit ever be caught, it would surely break the internet in half, as there have been rumblings of an "old soldiers" involvement in this unspeakable act.

I have a confession. I, too, have been sexual harassed by an "old soldier" myself. That name of that "old soldier"?

Flash # 163.

It happened when I was eight years old. I was looking for back issues of G.I. Joe(namely, issue # 27, where, on the cover, Storm Shadow is kicking Snake Eyes out of a moving train while Scarlet follows them in a helicopter) at Super Hero Universe # 8 in my home town of Simi Valley, CA. Even though I was primarily a G.I. Joe and Punisher War Journal fan, I always browsed through all the bins to soke up as much as I could. Given the chance, I would have purchased everything in the store, but my meager allowance of 5 dollars a week only allowed for Real American Heroes and the only Vigilante with the stones to kill criminals. While going through the F section, I came across the Flash comics. I was never a huge fan of the Flash, so I tried to pass through his section of the comic bin as quickly as I could, only to stop for a moment when I came across Flash # 163. Flash urgently implored me to "STOP!" and buy that comic book right then and there or else he would suffer some dire, earth shattering consequence. I quickly took note of the fact that the comic was older than me and that the Flash was still coming out on a monthly basis, therefore it was just DC trying a cheap marketing ploy. Ignoring it, I finished browsing the rest of the comic bins and made my way to cash register to make my purchase. That was when the culprit made his intentions known:



Scared and confused, I ran for my BMX bike. With tears streaming down my face, I tried my best to outrun the damage that The Fastest Man Alive had done to my body, mind, and soul. I was hestitant to tell my parents what had happened at the comic shop for fear of having them ban comics from my life altogether. To lose out on the life lessons that came with reading about Real American Heroes and Psychopath Vigilantes would have been far more damaging than the Flash # 163 incident could ever be. With G.I. Joe, I learned about the horrors of fighting Snake Themed Terrorism, downed power lines, and befriending stray dogs by the likes of Snake Eyes, Roadblock, Lady Jay, and Flint. Punisher taught me the important lesson of commitment and how to pose as a taxi cab driver in order to catch a taxi cab serial killer. Without this insight, I feared for what kind of challenges the future could impose me and how I would confront them. Therefore, a vow of silence was made.

It is safe to say that my negative outlook towards DC comics was tainted from that day forward. DC no longer stood for Detective Comics. No, DC was known solely as Dirty Creeps. Whether it was their Boy Scout Super Heroes with their camp counselor big brother menacing air about them or their Caped Crusaders who froliced around dark caves with pre-teen boys in their underwear, DC comics were strictly off limits for years to come. All because the Fastest Man Alive was also the Fastest Pervert Alive.

Its been said on other blogs that I'm a sad Marvel cynic, however, I believe those bloggers did not understand the heavy burden that I carry with me every day. That is.....until now.

Damn you, Flash # 163....

Damn you all to hell.

This one is for Ragnell and Heidi

Its no secret that Ragnell does not like Jade. Even Heidi hates her, too. So while reading the Starman: Infernal Devices trade, it was only natural that I thought of those two when I came across this panel:


Dang. You would think that a green skinned buxom super hero babe who inherented the powers of the Green Lanterns just because she was once a gleam in Alan Scott's eye would make for an interesting acquistion for a collector nerd like Jack Knight. Nope. Even James Robinson hates that green tart.

Deliver Me From Reasons Why

Don't ask for naught of want.

X-men Bring The Racism

Hunted and feared by the world around them, the mutant crusaders known as the X-men, have always been more than just another team of super heroes saving the day. Classified as Homo Superior, mutants have been the subject of numerous hate crimes ranging from simple beatings to attempted genocide. The X-men represent the empowered minorities, fighting for a world where men and women of all race, class, and evolved and not so evolved humans could live equally. Preaching the open hand philosophy, Professor Charles Xavier has always been striving for mutants and humans to coexist peacefully. Using his highly trained X-men, Professor X helped to provide a force that is able to fight back against those who would see our society separated and segregated. Blasting Sentinels and smacking Magneto every chance they get, the X-men are the comic book versions of Cesar Chavez, Martin Luther King, Jr., and Gandhi all rolled into one, except with optic blasts, telepathy, and admantium claws.

X-men fans like to speak of the parable that is of the downtrodden mutant living in a world where they are surrounded by scowling, horrendous, racists mutant haters. Its a manner of pride that the X-men are not only just fighting bad guys to uphold a civil and just world, but that they are also championing a world of equality and co-existence. 40 plus years into their struggle, the X-men have made some very remarkable strides in their fight against the narrow minds of the world at large.

Unfortunately, the X-men themselves are no saints. One starts to wonder what kind of person it takes to persevere in a world that has tried time and time again to kill, eradicate, cull, and cure their kind. What kind of resolve does it take to not fall prey to same hate that they are a victim to time and time again? Do the X-men have it? No. No, they do not.

Ladies and Gentleman, let me introduce you to....

X-Racism

While perusing the Neal Adams Visionairies trade(X-men Vol 1 # 56-63,65), in hopes of unlocking the secrets that Brubaker has been alluding to in his X-men: Deadly Genesis, I've come across some deadly secrets of my own that most, if not all, X-men fans have forgotten. That's right, X-racism. Only 56 issues of the X-men being feared and hunted, and already they are starting to exhibit traits of those that which they fight against: prejudice.

Whilst trying to rescue Havok from the Living Pharaoh, the X-men are attacked by Egyptian police who attack them unprovoked. Upset and aggravating, Cyclops lets the optic blasts fly. But that's not the only thing he lets fly...


I don't believe there's any room for the term "camel jockey" in a peaceful world of mutant-human peaceful coexistence.

With Cyclops setting a horrible example for the impressionable teens that are under his charge, it is only a matter time before the other team members follow suit. However, the problem becomes much worse. Not only do they try to alienate themselves by acting as the poster child for bigots, they fight amongest each other. It is both shocking and revolting to see the X-men fall back on insulting each other's abilities in the midst of combat. Surely, not the well functioning team that most X-fans are used to seeing.


Iceman's verbal berating of the Beast's state of origin is not only despicable, its Un-American. Last time I checked, there was no "State Elitism" in team. Starts to make you wonder if that the only reason Wolverine's Canadian nationality is tolerated on the team is because he's a loose cannon psychopath that has killed his team mates before in the past.

You would think that being subject to inexcusable behavior, that a respectable man like the Beast would be above such cheap shots. Nope. Beast is a Republican.


I thought about posting his more vehement displays of bigotry, but decided against itfor fear of upsetting my 4 readers. (Hey, Kelvin! Ragnell, what's cracking? What's up, Earth-2 Leigh! Word is bond, Tony! Hi! Hey! What's the dealio?!)

In light of all this, you might find yourself questioning the X-men's stance in the realm of mutant-human relations. I wondered if Magneto was really all that bad. Maybe he was just mislabeled an evil man because he did not believe in Xavier's Dream. It makes sense. If I had laid witness to the persecution of the jews during the Holocaust like Magneto himself was, I too might think twice about joining forces with Professor X. Does he really hate all humans as much as he says he does? Or has he been given a bad rep by those who claim to seek a better world, yet so carelessly let offensive remarks slip from their tongue so easily?



...


Hmm...


You know....as long as we keep Bendis away from it, a world led by Magneto probably wouldn't be so bad.

This one is for all you primate lovers

There is no doubt that there is mad love for our evolutionary cousins in the world of comic book blogging. Whether its talking about how awesome the Red Ghost's Super-Apes are or why you should hunt down, capture, and tame an issue of "Super Heroes Battle Super-Gorillas," monkey love is unparalled when compared to the mighty affection that the lonely comic book nerd fosters upon their man-like friends. To prove my point, go to Google Blog Search and type in '"super-ape" comics'.

As pointed out in the The Book Of Knowledge, a 20 volume encyclopedia set from 1920, they are the "ANIMALS MOST LIKE MEN." The apparent reason for our primate predilection must lie in the qualities that these animals exhibit that mirror our own.

The apes have brains like those of a child, but they are more below the savage in brain power than the savage is below you. The apes are made in body as we are made; they have great strength and courage; they make rough homes of branches and leaves, but there the likeness ends.

Take those traits and couple them with the fact that

you will probably never see in America, a full sized gorilla or an old chimpanzee, or an old orang-utan. They are too big and strong and fierce to be caught.

and you have instant primate fetishism. With all the monkey's running around in the Silver Age, you would think that Marvel and DC were on to something.

Wrong. They stole their shit from Stalin.

Moscow archives show that in the mid-1920s Russia's top animal breeding scientist, Ilya Ivanov, was ordered to turn his skills from horse and animal work to the quest for a super-warrior.

According to Moscow newspapers, Stalin told the scientist: "I want a new invincible human being, insensitive to pain, resistant and indifferent about the quality of food they eat."

To think that Russian was on the verge of producing real, live super apes is enough to make this fan boy cringe just a little bit. Who knows what the outcome of WWII would have been had there then Machine Gun Wielding Monkeys and Grenade Tossing Gorillas. We could all be living under the oppression of our communist monkey masters, which I'm sure would be a wet dream for some.

I'm looking at you, Chris.

We are that much closer to living out our adolescent power fantasies

Thank the lord above, X-ray vision is now available. And you don't even have to be from Krypton or take a little swim in a pool of radioactive waste to get it! Advanced Warfare Making Crime Fighting All That Much Easier:

Troops conducting urban operations soon will have the capabilities of superheroes, being able to sense through 12 inches of concrete to determine if someone is inside a building.

The new "Radar Scope" will give warfighters searching a building the ability to tell within seconds if someone is in the next room, Edward Baranoski from the Defense Advanced Research Projects Agency's Special Projects Office, told the American Forces Press Service.

Finally! The technology is here! Its time for us with troubled pasts involving wholesale slaughter of those who are near and dear to us to start dispensing vigilante justice, because that was all that we were waiting for! And yes, I know what you're thinking: Is it waterproof and rugged and run on AA batteries?

Think no more:

The Radar Scope will be waterproof and rugged, and will run on AA batteries, he said.

That's hot shit! You think Punisher had that kind of equipment at his disposal in his first mini-series? Hell no!

(link via SlashDot.org)

Something to get excited about for 2006

In a little bit of news coming from Left Field, my absolute fave fave favorite artist, Barry Windsor-I-Am-So-Awesome-That-I-Have-Two-Last-Names-Smith comes at us Marvelophiles with some Clobberin' Time action. To finish up a project he started back in 1985, BWS is going to putting out a Thing graphic novel. I have never read Marvel Fanfare # 15, which Comic Book Galaxy's Alan David Doane(and the Internet's resident Hater Of Super Hero Comics) declares is the second greatest depiction of the Blue Eyed Thing, next to Stan and Jack's Fantastic Four # 51, but with this inclusion to the mythos, I won't have to.

We're not even two weeks in and already 2006 has ADD looking forward to a super hero comic that isn't the Ultimates. If the Rampage returns, I'm officially calling this the sign of the Apocalypse.

The Best And Worst Of 2005

2006 is here and with it comes the chance to not only look forward, but an opportunity to stop for a moment and look back at 2005. This would have come sooner, but Blogger has been a pain in the ass with me posting pictures, forcing me to almost give up comic blogging forever. Then I realized that my lameness would be missed much like we all miss Thor. We don't really like him, but it just doesn't feel right when he's gone. Oh, and Earth-2 Leigh's comments about moi not posting forced my hand. Without further introduction, I give you...


Spencer Carnage's Best And Worst Of 2005

...and some other weird awards I made up as well.

Best On-going Series : Gotham Central

Whoever thought a cop drama set in Gotham City, written by Ed Brubaker & Greg Rucka, with art by Michael Lark, Kano, and some other people whose names I can't remember right now, would be so good? Not me, that's for damn sure. But damn, it won me over. Picked up the first two graphic novels last spring and I was in L-O-V-E, love. Its a shame that Bru & Lark left and its turning into the Streetwalkers Of Gotham or something, because this comic was really so much better than anything DC was putting out. Sniff, sniff. That's a tear of sorrow. If I had a forty, I'd pour it out 'n shit.

Best Single Issue : Seven Soldiers # 0


Sheer brilliance. If Grant Morrison and J. H. Williams could do a monthly comic, I just might run out of crappy things to say about comics.

Best Original Graphic Novel : TOP TEN: The 49ers

Taking the best of all genres and throwing it together in the city of Necropolis, Alan Moore not only delivers a tale of retired WWII heroes turned law enforcement fighting Vampires, Nazis, and American soldiers gone rogue, but a very heartfelt love story as well. Gene Ha's painted work definitely makes this book a top notch tale. This book was everything that is right with comics.

Best Mini-Series that started in '05 but won't end until '06 : Wintermen


Only three issues into it and I'm hooked. Wintermen is post-superhero/military at volume eleven. And stuff. Filled to the gills with all kinds of dirty dialogue and pretty, pretty art. This came along at just the right time when comics were being all kinds of dumb towards me with their lackluster stories that took 11,038,195,873,200 issues to tell. Thank you, Winterman. Here's to fucking shit pig success in 2006!

Worst Trend at Marvel Comics : "New"


First the New Avengers, followed by the New Thunderbolts. Then came New Excalibur. Granted, New Thunderbolts and New Avengers started in 2004(...er, I think..?), it wasn't until Excalibur became New Excalibur that it became nauseating. What's next? The New Universe. Or would that be the New NEW Universe? I don't know, I'm confused and a little too bored to really care anymore.

Worst Trend at DC Comics : Over use of dramatic dialogue


Ok, so that's not what they really said, but that's all I hear when I read it. DC is trying to hit us hard with some next level dramatic shit by bringing a Crisis to the DCU, and well.......it probably the most forced, contrived, pathetic attempt at instilling a sense of "seriousness" into comics. Then again, they are just comics, so I'm pretty sure its supposed to come off as forced, contrived, pathetic drivel. DC's just doing the best at it right now.

Biggest Let Down : House Of M


If I was an X-men writer, I'd punch Bendis in his balls at the next San Diego Comic-con. I could go off about this one, but its nothing you haven't heard before, no?

Fall From Grace Award : Brian Michael Bendis


Warren Ellis brought me back to comics, and Brian Michael Bendis made sure I stayed. His staunch use of stilted dialogue was interesting and his love for all things noir hit all the right buttons. His Daredevil read strong in trade up until I caught up and started buying the book monthly. Waiting 4 months for something to happened started to wear. Alias was good until it turned into the Pulse and the Secret War cross over was just a bunch of scenes of Jessica running around crying. Secret War itself was a new thing on his part, but slowly declined into a boring story that took too long to come out. Waiting months for the last issue only to have some Angelina Jolie looking character take out the bad guy before Wolverine, Spider-man, Daredevil, Luke Cage, Captain America, and the Fantastic Four could was just poor judgement on his part. New Avengers showed some promise with the motley cast of characters, unfortunately much like what happened with Secret War, they never finish their fights themselves. And House Of M?

I rest my case.

On The Bubble Award : Ed Brubaker


Sleeper kicked my ass nice and slow, that I didn't even know bad I was getting beat until it was over. With Gotham Central, he brought that wuss Rucka over to hold my arms while he punched me in the chest. Captain America made feel like I was in the 3rd grade and I was getting beat up by a six grade bully. And now with X-Men: Deadly Genesis and The Books Of Doom are up in my face, threatening me with gang violence. And now there's talk of Bru taking over Uncanny? Fuck. Makes me want to start taking karate and take my mis-directed revenge out on some OTHER unsuspecting bully ten years from now. I must say, Brubaker is a bad ass and he can beat you at arm wrestling. Were he fine ass nubian babe, I'd get bitch slapped when I told her about my Ebony-Ivory fantasy. Kudos to you, Mr. Bru.

Best Issue of Solo : Paul Pope


If Paul Pope can make me like Robin with only a few panels, just imagine what he could do if he drew and wrote something like....the X-men? Yes, that would be fucking great and awesome all at the same time.

Best Beating Of A Dead Horse : Warren Ellis's Cell phone diatribe in Iron Man


I am so glad that Warren Ellis loves his cell phone. Hell, I love mine. I just got a new one not so long ago that takes pictures and plays the "Final Countdown" when someone calls. How cool is that? Now, I'm sure you're sitting there asking yourself, "Me...what's the opposite of Spencer Carnage's cool cell phone?" The answer is Warren Ellis's need to ruin good super hero comics for the umpteenth time with his cell phone rants. If I was T-Mobile, I'd fucking hire that Brit and put him on every billboard, magazine ad, and television commercial I made. Imagine a very angry Warren Ellis telling you how you need to buy the latest model of the T-Mobile SJ1260 that allows you to artificially inseminate despondent women in Thailand for only 25 cents a call or else he will personally *insert classic Warren Ellis graphic punishment involving dogs fucking knife wounds*. Then maybe T-Mobile can expand into comics and Warren Ellis can do his rants there. Until then, please stop. Cell phones rock. We get it already. Now write me something that was as good as the Authority and Transmetropolitan.

Best Comic book related Christmas Present : Spider-man in Black Costume bust


Once again, my friend Ryan delivered on Christmas day. In 2004, it was the Doom bust, which started a nice little trend amongest our nerdy friends of purchasing busts and statues or giving them away as gifts. Before they were these cool little things that sat on the shelves in the comic shop that for some reason weren't quite on our radar. After Christmas of '04, you weren't loved as much as you thought you were if someone didn't get you a snazzy bust for your birthday. Sure enough, Ryan keeps up the love with the Spider-man In Black Costume bust which is chillaxing next to Doom on the computer desk, making sure his Latverian ass is keeping his shit clean. Thanks, Ryan!

Best Semi-Comics Christmas Related Present That I Bought For Myself With A Giftcard : Cromartie High Volume DVD Set w/ Manga


Quit wasting your time reading this blog and go buy/rent/borrow/perform fellatio so you can see/steal this DVD. Its funny done right. If you're a fan of Adult Swim, this is definitely for you.

Better Late Than Never : Starman


I can not believe I did not pick up when this came out. I could try and explain away the stupidity, but it was the 90s and as I've said before, the 90s were lame and so was I. Let's move on.

2005 was the year of the Vertigo back catalogue. I read all of Swamp Thing, half of the Sandman, and the first trade of Animal Man. You know, all the good stuff I missed out on while growing up. After enjoying those, I decided to pick up some Starman. It wasn't Vertigo, but it was on the radar and gave me the impression that I was going to have my pleasure centers massaged by reading it. The first trade was good, but didn't really sink in. After waiting a few months, I picked up the 2nd trade, followed by the 3rd, 4th, 5th, and 6th. I believe I have 3 or 4 more to go and I simply can not wait to finish them. Its a shame that James Robinson left comics to make movies for so long. Sure, we get him back in a few months, but damn. Just imagine how good Infinite Crisis would be if he was writing it.

Worst Comic Shop Experience : Having a copy of the Rob Liefeld Teen Titans secretly snuck into my bag by Earth-2 Comics alum Darren.

I almost gave this award to the time that I accidentally bought an issue of Batgirl, but decided that Rob Liefeld's crappy pencils trumps all.

Best New Way To Ridicule Your Friends Crappy Comics : Read their crappy comics to them out loud!


On the car ride home, pick out the crappiest comic from your friends bag(ie, Nightwing) and read it out loud. Make sure to explain what's going on in the comic. Nothing is more shameful then having to openly admit to buying a comic where a Devin Grayson written Nightwing fights mafia goons on crutches. "Ok, he's all jumping around on this crutch, then- SHIT! he's crutch fighting! Nightwing fucking rules, Ryan..."

Guilty Pleasure : Vs.


Yes, I'm a nerd. And so's my best friend and co-worker Tony. There was only so many conversations we could have about comics before we tired ourselves out and sought new ways to assauge our boredom at work. We contemplated starting up a game of the Marvel Super Heroes RPG, but we needed another person. Then Tony suggested Vs. About a month later and we're saying things like "Archangel is a sick ass drop 5", "I was PRAYING that you didn't have that Avengers Disassembled in your hand", and "Even though I'm kind of tapped on on the Avengers, Marvel Knights, and Web Of Spiderman booster backs, I just don't feel comfortable spending on my money on a JLA pack." The funny thing is, its Magic: The Gathering but with super heroes so I'm the nerd. And this is coming from people who buy comics on the weekly basis. You're all just scared because the Avengers/Thunderbolts deck is mighty and fierce.

I just don't get it Award : Walking Dead


Sorry, but I just don't get it. I tried for 4 long trades, but eventually gave up when I had to sit there and read through weird awkward prison BJ moments and people fighting each other for the most horrific melodramatic moments that a writer could ever think of. Having the main character say "We're the walking dead!" in the last trade almost made me vomit. Thanks but no thanks.

Best Comeback I Could Care Less About : Hal Jordan


Sorry, but I don't see what's so great about this. Tried the first issue and then realized that something that a group like H.E.A.T was excited about is not something that I myself could ever endorse. Nothing is more nauseating then reading interviews with Johns and having to read him say things like "Hal's a man's man." Yeah, its comics, dude. Chillax.

Why ADD and I Would Never Get Along : Superf*ckers = Supersucky.


As much as I love a good dick joke, this one went right over my head. It got to the point to where the number of fag insults made me feel a little ashamed to actually own a copy of this comic. The premise here is really promising, but didn't do jack shit for this super hero fan.

Worst Attempt At Getting New Readers : Lying In The Gutters


Shame on you, Rich. Shame, shame, shame. Glad to you have you back, though. Shit. Those were some tough six weeks back there.

and last but no least...

Best "Goddamn Batman" Joke : Earth-2 Leigh's Goddamn Flatman


Pure comedy genius.

That wraps it up. If you made it this far its because you're a bad employee and you should get back to work.