Thursday, May 31, 2007
THE FLASH: THE FASTEST MAN ALIVE #14
Written by Marc Guggenheim
Art by Tony S. Daniel & Art Thibert
Cover by Joshua Middleton
DC Comics announces the second month of a special FLASH promotion as the Fastest Man Alive’s world changes forever! Retailers: please check your the Previews order form for a special incentive designed to help you meet the demand for this story. Fans: remind your retailer early and often to order you a copy!
On sale July 18 • 32 pg, FC, $2.99 US
Wednesday, May 30, 2007
Make sure its called Shaolin Cowboy # 7. It rarely makes any sense, comes out every 3 to 4 months and is completely hilarious. If you buy 7 comics this week, get Shaolin Cowboy issues 1 through 6 as well. Once you meet that quota, you can buy all the Countdowns and Hulk Super Fight comics you want.
First three issues? Great, great stuff. Last three issues, not so much. # 4 wasn't all that horrible, but 5 & 6? Pure crap. Blue? Spirit Beans? After reading both issues last night, I was curious exactly how much of those stories were reworked versions of Eisner's source material. This early in the game, I am quite sure that they are just that. Are the originals that bad as well?
And Mr. Cooke's art doesn't have the same Pop! for me that it did in New Frontier. Maybe when he is walking the super hero beat, the work shines. Cooke's semi-urban gritty pulp noir stuff doesn't seem to sit too well in my aesthetic nether-regions. Same can be said for his work on Batman Ego. Cooke can still draw himself some pretty girls, though. However, 6 issues in and I am dropping it. To see such a decline in quality does amuse me at all.
I also got a chance to read Brubaker and Phillip's Coward trade for their Criminal Series. I bought the first issue then decided on waiting for the trade. Its good, but its not amazing. Thinking back to their Sleeper work, it took a couple rereads for me to really enjoy it. Criminal works well, but I feel like maybe my standards were set a little high. Then again, this is the first arc which are notorious for lagging a bit. Reviews of issue 6 have been good and I figure now is a good time to give the single issues another shot and see how it goes from there, because, well......its god damn Bru and Phillips!
Tuesday, May 29, 2007
It is the nitpickiness like that, that makes me somewhat ashamed for the role that I sometimes play in comic book culture. Quite frankly, when I see myself getting all fanboyish, it scares the living hell out of me. At least it has lately. That's why Civil War did such a number on me and my comic book reading habits. I got way too invested and found my passion for super hero comics turn into Newsaramian levels of stupidity when it was all a huge let down. The fact that my mind is hard-wired to digest and store continuity into the archives of my comic book knowledge is somewhat gnarly. Any hiccups in continuity that don't jive cause frustration. Why is that? I can be forgiving, sure. Most of the time I am. Given the time and effort, I could come up with a series of cliff notes that explain every last little screw up in the way that the writers should have done themselves. It would come with little word balloons that you could paste into your comic that when reread would elicit responses such as "well, that explains that whole New Avengers Collective/HoM fall out arc...." I have the power and technology to make it happen. If only there was the passion. There is the passion, but it freaks me out because the last thing a dashing, young bachelor like myself really needs to be thinking about at a bar on a friday night is the lastest issue of X-men when really, I should be trying to sleep with loose, easy women. But damn it, there must be some way to reconcile Wolverine's behaviour in Uncanny X-men with that of his appearance in Astonishing.....right?!?!
Another drink, please? Thank you.
And was I the only one that was a little upset that Ronin didn't talk off his mask and bro down with Falcon at the Secret Wake in Captain America # 26?
Falcon! Bro! S'up! 'Member how I died?! Crazy, huh? Yeah, I came back somehow and totally banged the broad that killed me in the first place! Bet you Quicksilver is going to be MAD when he finds that out. Oh, the new costume? Yeah, I don't know. I've been getting high alot. Tends to happen when you die and come back from the dead. Whatevs.
But they don't let me write these comics so whatever. Just sit in the corner and stare at your boy while wearing your trannie ninja costume, Clint! See if I care!
Dude! I got linked by the Beat again! And for what? For calling this whole Tentacle Marvel business months before it happened. When I really put my mind to the world of comics, I can bring some next level shiznit. Go scour my archives if you want to see what the future of comic bookery is going to be like! Forecast: fully awesome and hella sexy. Just like me!
Apparently there is this movie that spawned all this stuff that just went through some 30 some odd year anniversary.......? Look. After much debate amongest the friends and I, I have decided that the original Star Wars trilogy? Not the best trilogy out there. To set the record straight:
Number one with a bullet. Its all Han and no Luke. And real Nazis. Not the fake Imperial Stormtrooper kind of Nazis, but real ones. With accents. And plans for world domination using buried treasure. And why does Indy fight these nazis? Because things like the Ark belong in a museum. That's why.
Marty McFly will ALWAYS be cooler than Luke Skywalker. And even though he doesn't have the swagger of Han Solo, the dude can still rock. Whether he's blowing up 10 foot high amp heads, hover boarding around in the future or moon walking in the wild, wild west, Marty McFly totally rules. In case you're wondering, Time Traveling Deloreans will always beat out the ship that made the Kessel Run in 4.5 parsecs. Sorry, but that's how it is.
Which brings us to third place....
Star Wars. That's where you belong in the Holy Trinity of Top 3 Trilogies. Loved all three of the Star Wars movies as a kid. Even more so then Indiana Jones and Back To The Future. But as I go back and rewatch them, Star Wars sinks to the bottom. Maybe its because of the subsequent mountains of crap that came after, I don't know. All I DO know is that they don't hold a candle to my boys Indy and McFly.
Wednesday, May 23, 2007
Books: They have absolutely nothing to do with the Post Civil War Marvel U!
To continue my jaunt into the non-comic book reading world, I wanted to turn to you, the readers. My memorial weekend of nude sun bathing and Coors Lite drinking in Laughlin, NV fell apart on me. Instead, I will kicking around the homestead, nude sun bathing and drinking Coors Lite HERE. I am thinking about taking in a movie. Something independent preferably. Any recommendations? Its been awhile since I've taken in a good indie film in the theatre and I thought this weekend would be a good time as any. So start throwing some titles at me because I am completely clueless as to what's out there right now.
And, uh....that's all I got. See ya!
Tuesday, May 15, 2007
But yeah. No comics. God, it feels kind of good. I know, this is probably the 6th time I have made a post like this this year, but what I can say?
Suck it, comics!
Take your crappy culture of nitpickiness, nostalgia and idiotic gender fighting and gets a stepping already! I don't really care about Countdown. I don't care about World War Hulk. I don't care about Ultimates # 13 finally coming out. I don't care which sex superhero comics were made for. I don't care if Spider-man punching Doc Ock subconsciously oppresses your vagina. I don't care if Commander Steel makes you feel disgusted or slightly aroused. I don't care about some crazy back issue from the 70's and how it'll totally blow my mind. I really don't. Its all hogwash and horseshit to me right now. No offense to those who DO care. Keep on keeping on. As it currently stands, I have 100s trades that are taking up way too much space in my room that really just need to go. The level of my obsession needs to be scaled back significantly and I'm starting with the Black Widow and Avengers Kree-Skrull War trades first!
I'm off to work on a speech about Network Neutrality. If comics start causing drama again, please keep from posting it anywhere where I can see it. Thanks!
Monday, May 07, 2007
It's my birthday!
Or it was. On friday. May The Fourth be with you, brother! Guess what I did for my birthday?
A.) Got wicked drunk at some uber-swank bar and vomited on some hipster chick I was trying to mack on
B.) Got wicked drunk and went to a strip club where I feel in love with a girl named "Cocoa" that wouldn't give me the time of the day unless I had money
C.) Got wicked drunk at Fridays and punched out some douchebag for trying to harsh my mellow with his ugly face on my birthday
D.) Got wicked drunk in Vegas and had to be dragged out of a casino for aggressively proposing to some cocktail waitress in tights
If you guessed ANY of the above, you are wrong! The real answer is:
E.) Stayed wicked sober in Utah, hanging out with the Mormon family for my sister's graduation
Believe-THAT! Me, Spencer Carnage, the mess of blogger that I am, rocking the spot in Mormon country, straight edge styley! And not the cool, windmill kicking, XXX inked kind of straight edge styley! But the boring ass, sit around and watch some TV, read and check email kind of straight edge styley! Jealous? Thought so!
Yes, my sister graduated with a Masters in Mental Health Counseling so my father, step-mother and I made the 13 hour trip up on thursday so we could be there for the occassion. Since most of my family is religious, with my sister herself a recovering alcoholic, there was nary a drop of booze to be had. The fact that my birthday falls a day before Cinco De Mayo only compounded my own alcoholic problems. The problem being....there was no alcohol! Stopping in Vegas on the way back sunday for a buffet lunch definitely did not help. It was almost as if Joseph Smith himself was mocking him.
The weekend, despite the boredom, was nice. I played Uno like a motherfucker. My sister's cat and dog both love me. My bratty 11 year old neice has a bruise on her arm for being such a bratty 11 year old neice. The family and I got to discuss the going ons in our lives, using the art of cinema as common ground. I read Stephen King's Dark Tower: The Gunslinger and half of Jonathan Lethem's Fortress Of Solitude. I went to a pretty decent music store and picked me up some Feist, Explosions In The Sky, and Tv On The Radio. I even got my dad to rock out to TV On The Radio's Wolf Like Me on the way back. I actually found myself liking this one country song about jumping on the grenade so your friend can get himself some. I visited what was is apparently the biggest hunting store in America so I could purchase a proper jacket for the cold ass weather. I feel in love with lots of hot Mormon girls. I even saw Spider-man 3 and laughed at Jazz Dancing Emo Spidey.
Sober the whole time.
It should be a crime, I say. You know what's a crime in Utah? Holding two drinks in your hand at the same time. Found that one out a few years ago when I lasted visited. Its illegal to double fist in Utah. And they don't have bars, they have clubs where you pay for a nightly membership which includes the first two drinks with the price. And they still smoke in clubs out there! What is up with your wack laws, Utah?! Have you anything to say for yourself??!
The State of Utah pleads the Fifth on that one.
You wanna see what my friends got for me before I left? Check it out:
That's from New Warriors # 2! The one where they take on Midnight's Fire and the villiany of A.I.M. weaponry. Wanna to read more about it? Do it! I was thoroughly stoked when Tony and Ryan presented this to me. They are what you call, Homies For Life. Much better than what you guys and girl got me! And don't even give me that "we didn't know it was your birthday" crap. You should have just known! What other things about me does your ignorance reign supreme? WHAT COLOR ARE MY EYES!?
You all should be ashamed of yourselves on this glorious, Utah-free morning...
Wednesday, May 02, 2007
He fought for our
freedom in World War 2...
As the leader of the Earth's Mightiest Heroes, he has saved our world and many others countless times...
He stood against the Super Hero Registration Act to protect the freedom of our beloved Heroes...
Turning himself in at the end of the Civil War, Captain America was maliciously shot and killed on National Television while awaiting trial...
Longing for a second
chance at life.....
Steve Rogers made a
deal with the Devil...
Just so he could come back
and kick some un-patriotic Ass!
GHOST RIDE THE WHIP!!!
Blame Pachoob and Jason. They started it.