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Tuesday, May 29, 2007

A few tidbits and what not...

I bought me some comics last sunday and read most of them. And most of those, I actually enjoyed. Even New Avengers # 30. However, there are a few panels where Spider-man starts talking about how the New Avengers formed weeks ago with the prison break out. The problem is that I'm almost certain that there has been previous mentions in terms of time elapsing, specifically with the House Of M debacle, that are greater than just a few weeks. Now I feel strangely compelled to go back and read some of those back issues just so I could say "See!!! You got it wrong, Bendissssssss!!! Ha!!!!!!!" because, as a fan, its my god given right.


It is the nitpickiness like that, that makes me somewhat ashamed for the role that I sometimes play in comic book culture. Quite frankly, when I see myself getting all fanboyish, it scares the living hell out of me. At least it has lately. That's why Civil War did such a number on me and my comic book reading habits. I got way too invested and found my passion for super hero comics turn into Newsaramian levels of stupidity when it was all a huge let down. The fact that my mind is hard-wired to digest and store continuity into the archives of my comic book knowledge is somewhat gnarly. Any hiccups in continuity that don't jive cause frustration. Why is that? I can be forgiving, sure. Most of the time I am. Given the time and effort, I could come up with a series of cliff notes that explain every last little screw up in the way that the writers should have done themselves. It would come with little word balloons that you could paste into your comic that when reread would elicit responses such as "well, that explains that whole New Avengers Collective/HoM fall out arc...." I have the power and technology to make it happen. If only there was the passion. There is the passion, but it freaks me out because the last thing a dashing, young bachelor like myself really needs to be thinking about at a bar on a friday night is the lastest issue of X-men when really, I should be trying to sleep with loose, easy women. But damn it, there must be some way to reconcile Wolverine's behaviour in Uncanny X-men with that of his appearance in Astonishing.....right?!?!

Another drink, please? Thank you.

And was I the only one that was a little upset that Ronin didn't talk off his mask and bro down with Falcon at the Secret Wake in Captain America # 26?

Falcon! Bro! S'up! 'Member how I died?! Crazy, huh? Yeah, I came back somehow and totally banged the broad that killed me in the first place! Bet you Quicksilver is going to be MAD when he finds that out. Oh, the new costume? Yeah, I don't know. I've been getting high alot. Tends to happen when you die and come back from the dead. Whatevs.

But they don't let me write these comics so whatever. Just sit in the corner and stare at your boy while wearing your trannie ninja costume, Clint! See if I care!

Dude! I got linked by the Beat again! And for what? For calling this whole Tentacle Marvel business months before it happened. When I really put my mind to the world of comics, I can bring some next level shiznit. Go scour my archives if you want to see what the future of comic bookery is going to be like! Forecast: fully awesome and hella sexy. Just like me!

Apparently there is this movie that spawned all this stuff that just went through some 30 some odd year anniversary.......? Look. After much debate amongest the friends and I, I have decided that the original Star Wars trilogy? Not the best trilogy out there. To set the record straight:

Number one with a bullet. Its all Han and no Luke. And real Nazis. Not the fake Imperial Stormtrooper kind of Nazis, but real ones. With accents. And plans for world domination using buried treasure. And why does Indy fight these nazis? Because things like the Ark belong in a museum. That's why.

Marty McFly will ALWAYS be cooler than Luke Skywalker. And even though he doesn't have the swagger of Han Solo, the dude can still rock. Whether he's blowing up 10 foot high amp heads, hover boarding around in the future or moon walking in the wild, wild west, Marty McFly totally rules. In case you're wondering, Time Traveling Deloreans will always beat out the ship that made the Kessel Run in 4.5 parsecs. Sorry, but that's how it is.

Which brings us to third place....

Star Wars. That's where you belong in the Holy Trinity of Top 3 Trilogies. Loved all three of the Star Wars movies as a kid. Even more so then Indiana Jones and Back To The Future. But as I go back and rewatch them, Star Wars sinks to the bottom. Maybe its because of the subsequent mountains of crap that came after, I don't know. All I DO know is that they don't hold a candle to my boys Indy and McFly.



Jason said...

Thanks for this, I just had a small fan-boy meltdown over Bendis's newest atrocity on my blog and it feels good to know that you still care and can put it into words better than I can.

Oh yeah, no way is BTTF better than tha 'Wars man. Marty may be cooler than Luke, but Han is cooler than all. Shit, Chewie's cooler than Marty and I'm pretty sure he can shred (skateboard AND guitar) too.

Spencer Carnage said...

So are so wrong, my friend. Han and Chewie kick all kinds of ass, but Marty and the Doc? Classic. Chewie's only cool because he's like the sasquatch and your dog put into one. The Doc is bad ass because he created a time machine and yells "great scott!" all the time. And Marty and Han? That's a tough one because Han is Han, but Marty was me but with a time machine. When Doc shows up at the end talking about how they have to go to the future, Marty's only reply is "what, do we become assholes or something?" Dude was only worried about how cool he was gonna be! Plus, BTTF didn't have weak ass fools like Luke mucking things up. The biggest nerd was Crispin Glover and he was awesome. And Biff?

Vader ain't got nothing on Biff Tannen.

Matt said...

Personally, I think that BTTF should be at the top.


Matthew E said...

Well, the Star Wars trilogy had one thing that the other two trilogies didn't: a good Part 2.

Spencer Carnage said...

Whatevs. BTTF 2 was pure high concept. Marty walking around in the sense dodging his previous future self in the same past as well? Great stuff. Plus: hoverboards!

Spencer Carnage said...

Walking around in the past, I mean.

pachoob said...

whatever. star wars is dookie and everyone knows it.

hit me up about shows, dude. i'll see if we can book one together or something.