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Saturday, March 24, 2012

OMG, I bought some comics!

And now I'm going to blog about them on my blog that nobody reads.

So yes. Comics. Its been awhile. Well, not that long. I did pick up the first two issues of Wolverine and the X-men which were great. I really should pick up the rest. Instead of buying those, I bought these.


I know, I know. Justice League # 7? I must have been high. Anyhoo, let's get to talk about some comics, shall we?

Justice League # 7

So DC did a big ol' reboot and now we have all these books that are kicking around and Rob Liefeld is plotting three of them, up is down and cats and dogs are attending tea parties hosted by the mailman. Since I missed the bus on that whole first issue thing, I figured I would go with the next jumping-on point.

And that's good because this issue has Gene Ha on art which is a million times better than Jim Lee's superbly technical yet stiff pencil work. And that's not easy for me to say because I was raised on some Jim Lee. At one point, I had all of his issues of Uncanny X-men and Wildcats. Jim Lee was my boy for a long, long time. That dude can draw very well, for sure. Just not when it comes to side boob.


Not that it really matters but does not look right at all. And don't worry, its not only side boob that he has a problem with. Its super-crotch, too.


That right leg is sticking out, all stiff and wooden like. Doesn't look right. The composition on this whole thing is a little weird. Go see for yourself.

But Gene Ha? Fantastic. Go read Top Ten for some good Gene Ha art. This issue has some good Gene Ha art, too. Everyone's face look a little long and pointy-ish which is not something I remember from his Top Ten days but then again, those were some crazy days, amirite or amirite???!? High five, brah. The pointy faces are okay because it's Gene Ha and he can draw the Justice League for me any day. Personally, I would rather he draw another book because this comic was not so good.

Not that I have a horse in this race, but this is not a Justice League I can get behind. Green Lantern has gone from being the smug, arrogant hot dogging flyboy to an obnoxious douche who thinks he's funny when he's clearly not. Batman whining about property damage to the other Leaguers? Batman doesn't whine. He fucking reprimands your ass and then takes off back to Gotham to punch the Joker in his face for the 3rd time that week. At no point did I see Superman in a panel and get the sense that he's the greatest super hero that ever lived.

But this issue was not really about the Justice League. It was about Steve Trevor who thinks that threatening some senate sub-committee for prying into the lives of the Justice League is exactly what the World's Finest want him to be doing on his behalf. Its fairly obvious in this issue that this guy is having a tough time being the human liaison for the Justice League. Its like being friends with Brad Pitt.   When you're friends with Brad Pitt, all people ever want to talk to you about is Brad Pitt.
Does Brad Pitt eat cereal for breakfast? I eat cereal for breakfast. I wonder if we like the same kind of cereal. Oh man, can you ask for me the next time you're hanging out with Brad Pitt, what kind of cereal he eats? Thanks, person who is friends with Brad Pitt. You're the best.
I would get sick of that too.

Everyone in this comic sucked. Except for Wonder Woman. Even though her slight touch of tenderness towards Steve over Skype seems out of character for the Wonder Woman that lives in my head, it was actually the only part where I didn't feel like I was watching morons converse.
And tell my dad to stop trying to tap into our computer systems up here, whine whine whine.
Put a cork in it, Cyborg.

Uncanny X-men # 9

I read issues # 1 and 2 of this series. They weren't so good. For one, can we stop it with this "we need to be super heroes" take that's been kicking around the X-books for the past 10 years? Also, can we all stop trying to be Grant Morrison and start putting our own voice on these books? Whedon did a fantastic job of taking all of those lingering trails of Morrison's run and making it all feel a little more human. Mike Carey was the only guy good enough to run with all that New X-men weirdness and make it his own. But you, Mr. Gillen?
The Acute Reflection, freed of its Prism-Prison, creates refracted copies of its interdimensional Ur-Alien source to infest Central Vancouver. 
Following an X-Club suggestion, The Protector manages to recode the Voidian's weapons into a temporary Infinite Mirror Trap.
Morrison is getting royalty checks for this stuff, right?

In this issue the space prison that hovers above Earth at the S.W.O.R.D.'s headquarters get destroyed and bunch of aliens fall to earth, causing an "Extinction-Scale Event" and Cyclops gets his kitten back in the form of a "big mission" that he was pining for earlier in this issue.  The X-men go and beat up a bunch of aliens with the Avengers help and all is fine and well until Hope gets summoned away to recruit a new mutant. Oh wait, its a trap by one of the aliens! Interesting! Also, the Phoenix Force is back according to the preview of the forthcoming Avengers / X-men cross-over and its host is Hope because she has red hair . Everyone knows that the Phoenix Force is way into gingers.

I like this X-men line-up. It has Magneto and Namor, the Avenging Son. Colossus is the Juggernaut. Emma Frost is still super catty and dressing like a high class hooker. Magik is back. Gillen needs to leave and give this line-up to someone who knows how to write a decent X-book, ie something that reminds me of my childhood and my childhood only.

Super Crooks # 1

Mark Millar and Leinil Yu doing a book where the super villians leave America and go to Spain because there are no heroes there to beat them up. And yes, its exactly as bad as you expect it to be but it had been awhile since someone took a crap in my skull so I figured why not. Yu's art has gotten much better than I remember but that's not enough for me to stick around. Maybe with that one he does with Quietly? Definitely have to get that one. This one? Not so much.

Saga # 1

This is confusing and good so just get it. I wrote more but then this WYSIWYG editor deleted it and I'm about to jump off a building, I'm so upset, and blogging is hard so we'll just go with this:

2 cyber-thumbs up.



Man. That was a little painful for BOTH of us.

I'm fairly certain that there will be more of this kind of stuff because what's the internet for if I'm not on it, running my mouth about how much Brian Michael Bendis is ruining my life. Right?

Right.

5 comments:

Mikester said...

I'm still reading your site, Spencer! ...Hope you keep posting!

Spencer Carnage said...

Thanks, Mike! That means a lot coming from you! Your blog was one of the main reasons I got into this whole mess. :)

ch said...

i dig your reviews and promise to read 'em as long as you write 'em.
for real!
craig

pachoob said...

justice league 7? i swear to god. i feel like you're subjecting yourself to an experiment so that men like myself don't have to. god speed, you magnificent bastard.

what the fuck happened to mark millar? don't answer that.

Spencer Carnage said...

Thanks, ch! I'm back on the beat so I'm sure I'll have plenty of dumb things to say about people in spandex.

Seth: Coming back to the weekly gig is rough. Good or bad, you're spending 3-5 bucks for 20 some odd pages of part 3 of 6 in a story where people in costumes are punching each other. At this point, it almost feels like I'm only doing this because I'm contractually obligated.

At least when it comes to stuff like the Justice League.