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Friday, February 17, 2006

Yes, but does it come with a domino mask?

If you're boring, lame, and completely dull, you're probably watching the Winter Olympics. Try to change the channel and watch as your roommate, who has absolutely no interest in the whole mess whatsoever, gets upset at you for cutting his 5 second attention span down by 2 seconds. Sorry, but the Winter Olympics is crap that you should only watch when The Girlfriend makes you because it holds absolutely nothing of interest to someone with such great taste as me.

Imagine my surprise when I came across this at Engadget.com:

Some American and Canadian skiers competing in the Olympics have a secret weapon: a flexible form of "body armor" that's molded to the shape of their bodies and hardens on impact. The material, known as d3o, and developed by scientists working with skiwear maker Spyder, contains a proprietary polymer that has "strain rate flexibility." While normally flexible, sudden impact hardens the molecules of the material, making it as protective as the traditional arm and leg guards worn in slalom runs.
That's body armor, my friends. The exact kind of body armor that can deflect gaudy themed weapons like blade umbrellas and giant scissors. The best part that is already comes in bold, bright primary colors that will go perfect with your crappy super hero name. Considering the Colorado based company is called Spyder, it is only safe to assume that the CEO who runs the company is really an arachnid themed hero that galvants around the dark alleys of Colorado, making sure they streets are safe for skier and non-skier alike. Combine this with what we learned yesterday about NASA controlled Spider-Slayers, and it all starts to make perfect sense. Ten dollars says that once NASA tries to take over the world, we'll be looking to the Winter Olympics for our champions and saviours. My money is on the Australian Gold Medalist Dale Begg-Smith, which theAge.au has described as "Lamborghini-driving Canadian-turned-Australian moguls skier who is reluctant to talk about his dealings which remain shrouded in secrecy", will be the first one on the scene with Rocket Skis.

Yes, I swear to God that I learned all of this by reading tech blogs and NOT watching the Winter Olympics.

1 comment:

Almostcrash said...

The Olympics are hit or miss. That is crazy about their suits - science blows my mind.