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Monday, March 19, 2007

Wizard World Los Angeles

I did not attend. I would have liked to, but decided against it for fear of attacking whichever panelist were attending the Marvel panel while screaming "Whose side are YOU on?!? I'm with the Marvel readers, what about you!?!!?" That and spending way too much money on crap that I probably do not need. I didn't even get a chance to go to that party at Melt Comics on Friday night which I blame on a combination of friends that lagged, LA Traffic, and Super Bust-A-Move. But one of these years, I am going to make it to one of these funny book cons. Instead of attending the WWLA X-men panel on saturday night, I got drunk at a dive bar in Ventura and had the fortunate pleasure of watching some guy pull a gun out and shoot it at the ground in order to keep his would-be attackers from attacking him. Breaking Marvel's no-smoking a policy, I just exhaled and said "Did that just happen?" Yes, Spencer, it did. Huh.

Thankfully in my absence, my fellow Marvelites were there to pick up the slack and ask the hard questions for all of us.

"When Scarlet Witch said no more mutants, does that mean no more future mutants?"
Let's hope so. That over-populated mutant community was really pissing me off. Try to keep it manageable!

"Will we ever find out who Lalya Miller's parents are?"
I am, like all of us, on pins and needles waiting to see what's up with THAT mystery.

"How can there still be a school with so few mutants?"
And can a mutant still major in Cable's Closed Fist philosophy with a minor in Blackbird Piloting?

"Will Wolverine Origins ever be good?"
Seems like somebody is reading a different Wolverine Origins than I am.

"Anything on X-Force?"
Specifically with Rob Liefeld attached. And Cable. And Shatterstar. If you could bring Gideon & Stryfe back, that would be AWESOME.

"Is Jean Grey actually dead or are you going to 'pull a Colossus'?"
And do we have to suffer through anymore of those Phoenix Emosong minis?

"What's going on with Gambit?"
If he comes back, will he still say 'Mon Ami' a hella bunches? And will he get all creepy with a young X-men like he did with the age regressed Storm?

"What was the reasoning behind making Wolverine's son completely evil, and what's up with his haircut?"
Its like I was sitting in the audience and asking the questions myself! But I wasn't! That's the magic of comic books!

"Are you guys going to be doing anything with Sunspot?"
And Gideon? He has a green ponytail and wears metal on his arm! And runs a foundation!

”Are you going to bring back Jean Grey as the Phoenix? It's getting a little tiring that she keeps dying and getting brought back."
Seriously! I mean, how many times can she rise from the ashes and make Scott doubt his love?! Give the guy a break already!

Well met, my fine fellow Marvel fans. You did a great job in voicing the concerns that all of us X-men fans currently face when reading about our favorite mutants. However, you missed out some important questions that I still need answers to.

When will Storm get her mohawk back?
Can we get more Nanny and Orphan Maker action soon?
How exactly will you go about breaking Professor X's legs THIS time?
Is Wolverine still the best there is at what he does?
And is what he does still not very pretty?
Who would win in a fight between Wolverine and Thanos?
What about Thanos when he has the Infinity Gauntlet and Wolverine is in the middle of a "berzerker" rage?
Will Wolverine ever say "Berzerker Barrage!" and "Real Claw!" in the comic while eviscerating his enemies like he does in the Marvel vs. Capcom video game?
Can we get a Marvel vs. Capcom comic book already?
Any chance of seeing a Lockheed & Lockjaw cross-over anytime soon?
And can we please, please, please....get more X-men-lounging-by-the-pool action? Pretty pretty please?


Please feel free to leave your answers in the comments, Mr. Schmidt. Thank you.

6 comments:

Jason said...

Have you seen this solicitation preview up at Newsarama?

http://www.newsarama.com/marvelnew/newavengers/31/NA31cvr2.html

Ahhh, Marvel, the Ike Turner of comics.

Incidetally, it would totally RULE to get some Nanny & Orphanmaker action! Fallen Angels 4 Life!

Spencer Carnage said...

Elektra dies! Again! Shocking! Do you think that was from Matt Murdock, too?

Sean Kleefeld said...

Real answers for real questions!*

When will Storm get her mohawk back?
As soon as Mr. T makes them popular again.

Can we get more Nanny and Orphan Maker action soon?
Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!

How exactly will you go about breaking Professor X's legs THIS time?
Chris Claremont came in, saw what's happened to him, and took a sledgehammer to them.

Is Wolverine still the best there is at what he does?
Selling comics with guest cameos? Not as good as he was in the 1990s, but he's still got it.

And is what he does still not very pretty?
You read any of these stories lately?

Who would win in a fight between Wolverine and Thanos?
Mark Millar

What about Thanos when he has the Infinity Gauntlet and Wolverine is in the middle of a "berzerker" rage?
Joe Quesada, laughing all the way to the bank

Will Wolverine ever say "Berzerker Barrage!" and "Real Claw!" in the comic while eviscerating his enemies like he does in the Marvel vs. Capcom video game?
As soon as Cap's new catch-phrase becomes "Star and stripes!"

Can we get a Marvel vs. Capcom comic book already?
Wouldn't that mean Marvel would have to split their profits on the book, though?

Any chance of seeing a Lockheed & Lockjaw cross-over anytime soon?
"You thought they were pets. You thought they were cute and cuddly. Only now... they're pissed, and they're out for blood!"

And can we please, please, please....get more X-men-lounging-by-the-pool action?
Three words: Marvel. Swimsuit. Edition.
* "Real answers" are not to be taken seriously, orally, intravenously, or on an upset stomach. Apply directly to the forehead. Possible side effects include nausea, myopic vision, and excessive hair growth.

Spencer Carnage said...

I officially nominated Sean as the new X-men editor. 'Nuff said!

Carla said...

I too sat in my store, looking south and wondering right then, was Joe Quesada side-stepping another pertinent question? Oh, Wizard World LA.

Juisarian said...

Storm's mohawk was the reason I started reading X-Men.

And Nanny and the Orphan Maker were the reason I stopped.