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Tuesday, December 18, 2007

Marvel Solicitations for March

Well, since I'm here and Newsrama has the solicitations up for Marvel Comics that are coming out in March, I figured....what the fuck, huh? Let's take a look at a few that caught my eye for one reason or another..

Now what the hell is up with Hulk's hand around Iron Man's neck? I am a horrible artist and I can totally draw the Hulk choking Iron Man with more talent that Mr. Nord is showing here. Seriously, what the shit are we looking at?

That guy on the right is the Ultimate version of Stryfe, right? I bet you take off his mask and he looks all fuggin' bad azz like this:

Kirkman is the one writing this comic, right? So I'm not all that far off.

March is a bad month for Spider-man covers. And that's fucking Phil Jiminez and Tony Harris that you're looking at, being all shitty and what not.

This cover makes me want to go back and play some Rifts. You know, dust off my old Tattooed True Atlantean Glitter Boy pilot and take on some Coalition SAMAS in the radioactive ruins of Old Minnesota with nothing but a Juicer Merc and D-Bee Ley Line Walker backing my shit up. If roleplaying games have their say, the future is gonna be awesome. Know what I'm sayin'!?

So Captain Marvel is back and apparently Wolverine or D-Man are making an appearance in the last issue of a mini-series that I MIGHT try to convince a friend to buy so I can borrow it 12 months after the fact. Or should I just skip it altogether? Its hard to decide when it comes to CAPTAIN MARVEL.

Hitch sucks now. Proof? Ultimates Volume Two. This picture is probably the best I have seen of his FF work, but the rest of it is just one big ugly mess of realistic super hero crap.

Bagley, you traitorous son of a bitch! Not even an New Warriors cover before you leave? 'Tis heresy!

Anyone following this? Read the first issue and decided to wait for the trade. Is it good? Bad? Does it help you lure indie comic reading hipster girls into bed?

Have they revealed who Night Thrasher is yet? If so, please spoil it for me. Or at least spoil what the message boards are guessing who it is. Cuz in this picture, its looking like some jack ass of a honky and NOT my man, Dwayne Taylor.

Dude. Know why you're all sad, Nova? Because you're dicking around in space when you really should be back on Earth, banging a hot ass Atlantean babe named Namorita and giving Speedball noogies. But nooooooooooo..... someone had to go into space while the rest of the Warriors were playing grab ass with explosive villians in Connecticut, causing people like me to turn my back on comics forever(12-18 months tops!)...

Thanks a lot, Rich Ryder!

And that's all I got for right now. There are a bunch of other covers with X-men standing around all bad ass and She-Hulk punching stuff while her big ol' boobs make your mouth salivate. The usual.