Heroes Con & WW Philly: Wrap it up!

Last post I was talking about doing a run down of this past weekend with all news from Heroes Con and WW Philly, separating most of the crap into their related editorial camps. One post, we talk about all things X. The next post, its WWH-related! Well, that was an idiotic idea because of the things they announced, I don't really give a damn about most of them, so....

I'll ramble while you read, alright? Okay.

Out of the Spider-man related announcements, the most interesting one is the cancellation of all the ancillary Spidey titles and making Amazing Spider-man a title that comes out three times a month. You sneaky bastards, Marvel Comics....making us fans buy Friendly Neighborhood and Sensational when we only want to read Amazing....just prey on our completist tendencies, why don'cha! Heaven forbid there should be a gap in my collection where Roberto Aguirre-Sacasa's not so great Spidey story takes place for the month! What are they going to do next?! Put Wolverine and Spider-man in every comic so that I have no choice put to buy them all!?!

That would be sheer fucking madness!

And can we stop talking about how a married Spider-man screws up the character? Go read Kraven's Last Hunt to get an idea of what a married Spider-man should be like. The idea that a bunch of 40+ year old men sitting around huge tables at creator summits and discussing ways to make Peter Parker single again in order to recapture that soap opera element that the book had when they were all kids is sad and depressing and will only lead to God awful stories that no one wants to read. Step away from the Retcon button and just deal with the fact that Spider-man has to swing to the super market every now and then to pick up some feminine products for MJ. Okay? Thank you.

Did you catch that part about how there's a Brian K. Vaughan and Eduardo Risso Wolverine Mini coming out? I would love to see an Eduardo Risso Wolverine. And Brian K. Vaughan just might give us back the Wolverine that we all deserve. Its only a mini, but damn, it'll probably all kinds of great.

Let's talk about Skrulls! Just read New Avengers # 31 and it wasn't all that bad. Bringing Jessica Jones and the baby into the mix like that seems pretty stupid, but its too soon to really say. At this panel, Bendis fields the usual stupid comics that a story like this will raise. Me, I just want a good story. Bendis is capable of those from time to time, so here's to hoping that this current path we're on does not give me ulcers.

The one announcement that Bendis did NOT make was the eradication of his catty ass thought balloons in Mighty Avengers. Hopefully by San Diego Comic-Con, we'll get that announcement along with a formal apology and coupons to redeem for re-lettered versions of those Mighty Avengers comics that don't have Ms. Marvel and Iron Man thinking like morons when they're not talking. They can either mail them to my house or send them in e-coupon form. I'm not picky.

Then there is the news of the X-Crossover, called The Messiah Complex. I imagine Magneto will be back yet again and everyone will be all "Dang!" to which Magneto replies "s'right!" and then fighting ensues alongside some parallels to how the X-men represent the struggles of the oppressed people in the real world. Why you gotta make me feel all bad for being a white privileged suburban male, huh X-men comics? Can't I just read about sexy mutants going all stabby and blasty and mental mind reading without having to feel like some jerk? Gosh!

Yeah, this will probably be another huge mess, but apparently that is what's for sale in today's world of mainstream super hero comics. Enjoy yourselves!

Heroes Con & WW Philly: Mondo Marvel & More

The Summer Con season is in full swing, with both Heroes Con and Wizard World Philly going on this weekend at the same time. Since I am one of Marvel's six blogs, I have decided that its time to start acting like one by posting my idiotic commentary alongside the new announcements. To make things easy, I'll divide it up into different posts based upon editorial camps and what not, starting with basic Marvel stuff.

Are you ready for some hard hitting in your face bloggery?! If the answer is "No!", please click here. If the answer is "Hell yes, brother! Bring the pain!" then continue on....

All in all, things don't look so bad. And believe you me, there is no one more upset about that than myself. Why? Because I'm never really happy with comics unless they're pissing me off!

• Captain America being written by the guy who created Rambo is only flawed by the fact that the comic itself doesn't actually STAR John Rambo, but we can just pretend that's whose under the mask, right?


• Even though I only read the Nova mini and issue 1 of Annihilation, I am curious to see what the spin-offs will read like. That Star Lord cover is mega-spiffy in its Jin-Rohesque beauty.


• And this I'm excited about. We get an Iron Fist annual which is proper because that title itself is the best super heroish book on the shelves. According to the cover which you can see to your right, it looks like its going to continue the grand tradition of being amazing.


• I really like the cover for New Avengers # 34 because it hints at some crazy alternate universe story, which I always enjoy. Hell, as bad as House Of M was, I kind of dug it. The premise rocked despite all the glaring problems with the story.


• We get a Penance mini-series which I'm sure we could all do without. Unless he's getting his balls back, I could care less for Penance. Nova I like. Don't worry, buddy. I'm going to pick up those two issues I missed when I make it the comic shop this weekend. Don't think I've forgotten about you. Is that Gamora holding his head? And is it okay if I'm slightly aroused by scantily clad space babes? Wait, no, that's not right. Its sexy zombie teenage girls that's got us frat boys all riled up. Thank you, Internet. Don't know what kind of sick fetish I would be chasing this week without you.

And then there's the new Marvel Comics Presents. You know that snazzy car that looks hella hot and drives gnarly fast that the protagonist drives in the 2nd The Fast & Furious movie? This is the comic book version of it. Its a mother fraggin' sports car of a comic book that's gonna race off of the racks, right at your ass, so you best get out of the way or else you gonna get run over! And quite frankly, I don't think that some of you could handle that.

Yeah, I'm not too sure what that's supposed to mean other than this comic looks HOT!

• But dayuuuuuuuuuuuum....that Hellcat looks absolutely splendid. I can't think of anyone else that could do a better job with the character. Writing a comic book with your significant other sounds like it could be dangerous. Does Mrs. Immonen get all "we gonna have the big finish gone down like this or else you'll drawing your little boy comics in the dog house, Mister!"...? Because she totally could. Us men are like silly putty in your hands, women. That's why we oppress you with our comics so much.


• I like Khoi Pham's depiction of the Captain America-copied kick that Taskmaster is delivering to that S.H.I.E.L.D. flunky. It kind of makes me wish that I was at home alone on a lazy saturday afternoon, air-fighting imaginary ninja foes.


• Seeing names like Josh Fialkov, Barry Kitson, B. Clay Moore and Lee Weeks attached to this makes me happy. And Christos Gage, too. He's growing on me, that one.


• Even the Weird multi-verse Spidey doesn't seem like such a bad idea. Especially since it'll probably only be 5 to 10 pages at time for an issue or three. I'm on board. If I ever get a pull started, this book is definitely going to be on it.

If they could Sam Kieth and Rob Liefeld drawing dudes like Longshot and Deathlok, it would buy 5 copies, but I get them CGC graded and shot up into space to insure nothing would ever happen to them that would cause them to lose value! Ok, that wasn't right. Sam Kieth is actually awesome even if he draw some funky Wolverine action back in the old MCP.

Even though this is more X-men related, they talked about it today so I'll just lump it in. The Angel: Revelations mini-series.

Er, uh....what? I, um.....I'm not going to read this when it comes out therefore this will probably be the first and last time I ever blog about an Angel mini-series at all. As a matter of fact, I could quite possibly be commenting on YOUR blog about how unsmart you are for wasting everyone else's time with your review of issue # 3 when it comes out. While we're on the subject of useless mini-series, let's pitch some that could be of equal importance and probably not worthy of anyone's reading time:

Paste Pot Pete: Unglued!
Captain Ultra Happy Fun Time Romancing Love
Erik & Charles: The College Years
What about Frogman?
Rom The Spaceknight: You got your wish. Can you stop bugging us now?

And that's all we have to say about Angel: Revelations and all of the other exciting announcements and preview art we've seen so far. Next, we'll talk about Spider-man. By next I mean probably on Monday or Tuesday!

SF: APE Sketches

Lockheed & Lockjaw Team-Up by Jason Turner:



Lockjaw by Anders Nilson:



Pretty birdy by Anders Nilson:



I didn't get that many sketches. I did not even think about sketches until I saw "Will Sketch Anything for $1" sign at Jason Turner's table. Then I saw Anders Nilson and asked him to hook me up with another Lockheed & Lockjaw Team-Up. After he did Lockjaw, he decided he had had enough and did that nice little bird. Its fun getting independent comic artists to draw semi-obscure characters from the Big Two. The look of confusion that crosses their face when you say "Lockjaw from the Inhumans" that slowly melts away into understanding after you explain that Lockjaw is that teleporting dog with the fork on his head is worth it alone. Plus, you get a kick ass sketch out of it. Admit it, Anders. You would totally work on some Spider-man if given the chance!

SF: Comics, Booze and a bearded guy named Sparky

A friend and I drove up to San Francisco last weekend so we could attend the Alternative Press Expo. How was it? It was great.

We drove up from Los Angeles friday night only to arrive at Pachoob's house at the wee hours of the night. Upon our arrival, we started drinking and watching Delta Force II. While my friend Sparky started to mess around with a Wii so he could check his myspace, Pachoob and I discussed our mutual disdain towards Warren Ellis's more recent, non-Authority/Planetary/Transmetropolitan work. After some more Wii action, we all passed out, with Sparky having the last word in regards to Pachoob drunk, annoying female roommate. Sparky is only in SF for the girls and Angela didn't make the cut.

Saturday morning comes and Pachoob's friends started to make their way over. Sparky cracks open the first beer at 11:30 AM much to the surprise of everyone. "I'm on the Vay Kay, dudes!" After a little bit of lollygagging, we make our way to the convention. As we enter, we discover a bar to our right. Sparky and a few others quickly make their way over. A half-hour later, I myself am walking around the floor with some Whiskey & Coke, apologizing to all the booths for not having any cash on me to buy their stuff. After some effort, I manage to get directions to an ATM and make a withdrawal.

The Alternative Press Expo is my first comic convention. Thank God. If half the things they say about San Diego and the WizardWorld are true, I think I may stick with the indie crowd. No bad BO, no idiot fanboys, lots of cute girls, and a bar. Everyone I talked to was really friendly. I could have easily spent a whole paycheck on comics if I wanted to. Its hard to approach a booth and not find something you like. I got my hands on a number of mini-comics this way. I met Nate Powell, whose work I have read in the Meathaus 8: Headgames anthology. Anders Nilsen did a couple sketches for me(which I will post later.) I also got a really cool sketch from Jason Turner as well. I did miss Bryan Lee O'Malley and Kevin Huizenga unfortunately. I saw Art Spiegelman talk for a bit. Ran into a kid I know from LA. Sparky had a nice Stranger Than Fiction moment when some cute girl came up to him and told him that he looked just like a character from her comic brought to life. It was a great time. I wish I would have taken more pictures, but I simply forget in the face of so many great comic books. Everyone that came with us to the show walked away with something they liked. Even the non-comic book reading fans such as Sparky enjoyed it.

After the show, we ate and rested. Watching Charm School we found ourselves enamored with the ramblings of Buckwild, occasionally invoking her sage-like wisdom several times through out the day. Night time came and we headed to the bars. We did shots of fernet and danced to 80's music. Sparky, being the Dodger fan that he is, accosted the Giants fans in our group. At some point we made our way home and passed out. We had ourselves some brunch the next day, said our goodbyes to our gracious hosts, and headed back down to LA with a hang over.

I had an awesome time. Pachoob and all his friends were really cool and I look forward to hanging out with them again soon. Sparky himself was as entertaining as ever, whether it was on the dance floor trying to get with chicks or on the car ride home, divulging all sorts of stories about his idiot self. I ran into some old friends that I have not seen in a while. To top it all off, I have a crap load of new comics that I will be making my way through for the next couple of weeks. If you ever get the chance to go to APE, do so. Its a great show with lots of great comics and good people. You can even stay with Pachoob! That dude's got himself a Wii!

SF: The Return

Dear Reader(s),

I made it back from San Francisco in one piece. APE was awesome and Pachoob & Co. are hella bitchin' folks to hang with. I am currently in recovery mode right now. Hang tight and I should have a full report in the next day or two. Take care and talk to you soon.

Sincerely,

Spencer D. Carnage

Wizard World Los Angeles

I did not attend. I would have liked to, but decided against it for fear of attacking whichever panelist were attending the Marvel panel while screaming "Whose side are YOU on?!? I'm with the Marvel readers, what about you!?!!?" That and spending way too much money on crap that I probably do not need. I didn't even get a chance to go to that party at Melt Comics on Friday night which I blame on a combination of friends that lagged, LA Traffic, and Super Bust-A-Move. But one of these years, I am going to make it to one of these funny book cons. Instead of attending the WWLA X-men panel on saturday night, I got drunk at a dive bar in Ventura and had the fortunate pleasure of watching some guy pull a gun out and shoot it at the ground in order to keep his would-be attackers from attacking him. Breaking Marvel's no-smoking a policy, I just exhaled and said "Did that just happen?" Yes, Spencer, it did. Huh.

Thankfully in my absence, my fellow Marvelites were there to pick up the slack and ask the hard questions for all of us.

"When Scarlet Witch said no more mutants, does that mean no more future mutants?"

Let's hope so. That over-populated mutant community was really pissing me off. Try to keep it manageable!

"Will we ever find out who Lalya Miller's parents are?"

I am, like all of us, on pins and needles waiting to see what's up with THAT mystery.

"How can there still be a school with so few mutants?"

And can a mutant still major in Cable's Closed Fist philosophy with a minor in Blackbird Piloting?

"Will Wolverine Origins ever be good?"

Seems like somebody is reading a different Wolverine Origins than I am.

"Anything on X-Force?"

Specifically with Rob Liefeld attached. And Cable. And Shatterstar. If you could bring Gideon & Stryfe back, that would be AWESOME.

"Is Jean Grey actually dead or are you going to 'pull a Colossus'?"

And do we have to suffer through anymore of those Phoenix Emosong minis?

"What's going on with Gambit?"

If he comes back, will he still say 'Mon Ami' a hella bunches? And will he get all creepy with a young X-men like he did with the age regressed Storm?

"What was the reasoning behind making Wolverine's son completely evil, and what's up with his haircut?"

Its like I was sitting in the audience and asking the questions myself! But I wasn't! That's the magic of comic books!

"Are you guys going to be doing anything with Sunspot?"

And Gideon? He has a green ponytail and wears metal on his arm! And runs a foundation!

”Are you going to bring back Jean Grey as the Phoenix? It's getting a little tiring that she keeps dying and getting brought back."

Seriously! I mean, how many times can she rise from the ashes and make Scott doubt his love?! Give the guy a break already!

Well met, my fine fellow Marvel fans. You did a great job in voicing the concerns that all of us X-men fans currently face when reading about our favorite mutants. However, you missed out some important questions that I still need answers to.

When will Storm get her mohawk back?
Can we get more Nanny and Orphan Maker action soon?
How exactly will you go about breaking Professor X's legs THIS time?
Is Wolverine still the best there is at what he does?
And is what he does still not very pretty?
Who would win in a fight between Wolverine and Thanos?
What about Thanos when he has the Infinity Gauntlet and Wolverine is in the middle of a "berzerker" rage?
Will Wolverine ever say "Berzerker Barrage!" and "Real Claw!" in the comic while eviscerating his enemies like he does in the Marvel vs. Capcom video game?
Can we get a Marvel vs. Capcom comic book already?
Any chance of seeing a Lockheed & Lockjaw cross-over anytime soon?
And can we please, please, please....get more X-men-lounging-by-the-pool action? Pretty pretty please?

Please feel free to leave your answers in the comments, Mr. Schmidt. Thank you.