Mind Mgmt # 2

You're high if you're not reading Mind Mgmt. Matt Kindt is putting out one of the most entertaining and engaging comics that is in stores right now. Mind Mgmt really dares the reader to pull at any and all threads of the tapestry that is being woven from page to page.


Its a mystery that surrounds a flight where all of its passengers, save for one, lose their memory mid-flight. Two years after the incident, Meru, a true crime writer, decides to break out of her sophomore slumb by investigating the strange disappearance of a particular passenger on the plane. Things get hairy when Meru runs into CIA agents and the 'Immortals' that are after both parties. Surrounding all of this, we are slowly introduced to members of Mind Mgmt, a clandestine group of psychics whose origins are tied to the assassination of Archduke Franz Ferdinand from the Great War. 


Bits and pieces regarding the Mind Mgmt and their motivations are given to the readers in the form of 2 page strips on the inside of the front and back cover and on the last pages of the book. The back cover of each issues teases one part of a six-part numeric code that will unlock a message at www.mattkindt.com/mind¹. And on every page of the main story, there is a line from a Mind Mgmt Field Guide, providing instructions to an agent which are related, if only sometimes tangentially, to the panels of that page.


For most of this issue, the protagonists are running from the Immortals, all while finding more questions than answers. Meru runs into the first member of Mind Mgmt, Perrier, one of two psychic twins, who appears to be mentally controled to peck away at a type-writer, producing cryptic messages which speak to Meru in a peculiar way. There's a suicide. 'The Futurist', Jake Duncan (who was introduced in the case file excerpt from Mind Mgmt # 1) makes an appearance where he ruminates over the course of events that took place in the issue for a brief moment before citing his retirement as a reason for staying out of it all.


Mind Mgmt is interesting, odd duck of a book. Kindt delivers a story that seems like a simple enough mystery that only gets more and more confusing the more you look into it. Who are the Mind Mgmt? Who are the Immortals? What type of strange game have Meru and her companion from the CIA, Bill, unwittingly found themselves playing a part of? What do these fake ads for 'Mindjuice' and 'Clearhed' on the back of every issue have to do with the story inside? And what comic creator is going show up next month in the letters column, spouting off who knows what kind of nonsense?


Its a fun, well executed romp that you should be reading today. Period.


¹ As of the date of this posting, the URL is serving up a GoDaddy 404 page right now. I imagine that will change once the 6th issue has come out. 

A bunch of super hero comics I bought in 2008, part 2

What kinds of crazy super heroic comic books could possibly make me come about my blogging hibernation? Well, I think its safe to say that we all know the answer to that one question, now don't we.

Secret Invasion # 1. Yes. It is true. I have just read Secret Invasion # 1 and now I'm gonna throw a bunch of hate all over it 'cause how we do when we do it. Where can we start on this? From what you heard (if you have not had the pleasure of reading it) its got all kinds of your typical Brian Michael Bendis speechifying in the word balloons. And of course, its completely foreign and alien to those who have not been following along this little ride that Marvel's Golden Boy has taken the Marvel U on. This things that people say are unfalse! You can't just pick up the Bible and start reading at Revelations, my friends! You gotta get on at Genesis and see how that shit rides.

Luckily, I'm one of those morons that starting reading this Marvel Bible at the beginning. I may have skipped a couple chapters of Numbers and Deuterononmy(sp?), but I got the main picture all mapped out in my head. Something has been amiss for awhile now and today is the day that we take a moment to sort this crap out.

Having read this first issue I have decided that this isn't a very good book. Why?

Bendis can't do melodramatic. He just can't. His forte is the half-assed comedic scripting that he culled from Aaron Sorkin's assorted TV dramas and faux-cheekiness of the WB's Tuesday night line up, with the "realistic" stutter of some guy named David Mamet. Its HBO Sopranos Cool disseminated through the likes Hank Pym and Luke Cage. Every character is smart and funny, except for those who TRY to be smart and funny, only to their own mid-fight embarassment. More often than not, it is pretty damn boring.

From the moment that Iron Man opens his stupid mouth on the first page, to the shocking reveal at the end, everything comes with a self-imposed weight that does not deliver in any kind of convincing manner whatsoever. When Tony Stark tells us readers that he's telling us the biggest secret there is in the world, the eyes only roll.

We've seen this all before. It was called Civil War and it had heroes fighting other heroes. Throwing in the added bonus that some of these heroes are really just aliens in disguise makes it a little more interesting. I just can't help but think that its a premise that is not in capable hands. And that feeling seems to permeate alot of what Marvel has been putting out the past two years. These are great ideas that I could do a million times better. And I'm a horrible writer.

But I'll be around until the end, if only to give me something to hate about.

Now the new All Star Superman # 10? That's a great book. Everything that Secret Invasion # 1 did wrong, All Star Superman # 10 did right. Each page is packed with something new. We aren't just flipping through a comic book about Superman, we're turning a new corner with him. Its all ground that we have traveled before. We just have a better guide than we did last time. We have a writer that is able to make us stop and look at everything differently. This is, without a doubt, a Superman tale that will be remembered for a long, long time by fans of both super hero and non-super hero genres.

But I'm feeling like you all knew that, right? Right.

A bunch of super hero comics I bought in 2008, part 1

Just got home early from school where I took an algebra test that I definitely did not do good on. Why? Because I'm part lazy slacker, part someone that gets sick and missed a night or two of class. Its funny, because I was making algebra my dirty little slizz-zut at the beginning of the semester until I somehow lost my way. Who would have thought that Spencer D. Carnage, Casual Marvel Comic Book Blogger, would ever be somewhat decent at trinomials? Its that "Solve for x and graph it out: 3x + 20 is greater than or equal to 9x - 2 + x" shit that gets me. And this is ELEMENTARY algebra we're talking about. What happens when you get into ADVANCED algebra? Does it compare to a newbie trying to jump head first in the murky, continuity-shark filled waters of the 2008 publishing schedule of mainstream superhero comics?

The answer to that question is perverse and often baffling.

Let's start with Uncanny X-men # 495, shall we? Yes. Yes we shall. Its been a long tiiiiiiiiiime since I've read an issue of Uncanny X-men. The last issue I read had Vulcan flying in space and taking way too long to disable some Shi'ar starships. It was one of those one-off issues that Brubaker seems to do so well with in Captain America. Unfortunately for my $2.99, it didn't quite work out for Vulcan as it did for Nomad so I stopped reading. From what I heard, that decision was a good one because that space shit was whatevs. Then the Messiah CompleX came along and I still kept my distance. Now that its over, I thought I would jump on with Uncanny X-men # 495.

If you want my two cents, Emma and Scott taking their post-crossover honeymoon in the Savage Land is exactly what an X-men comic needs to get me to jump back off.

Uh.......whatthefuckamIreading? The leader of the X-men and the White Queen running from dinosaurs while exchanging meaningful glances.













(That big long space is me folding my arms and shaking my head with disdain through my computer at the people who created this comic.)

That's okay, though. Bru wants to channel Chris Claremont at his worst, go for it. I'm good. As long as I have one more issue of Astonishing X-men left, I can wait six more months before I get my fix of X-goodness. I think you all know what I mean, right? Despite the wait, this last arc of Astonishing X-men is great. It got bumpy for a few moments there, but as soon as they got into space, it was all systems go. And if we have to wait six months to get that grand finale issue from Whedon, Cassady & Co., you won't hear me complain. It'll be a shame to see this creative team go, but it was worth the wait.

Next, I'm going to talk about Captain America # 34. In case you haven't heard, that's motherfuggin' Bucky under that new Cap costume, son! That's right! If you've been avoiding spoilers, you're prolly all jacked up with rage right now! You're thinking "What's the deal, Spencer? Normally you're all "OMG SPOILERZ!" when you're ruining the comics I haven't read. When that happens, I just leave and surf for pRonz on the interwubs. But this?! This is too much!!! Its so bad th-that........deep breath......I'M NEVER GOING TO READ YOUR BLOG EVER AGAIN."

That's okay, because I'll probably give up blogging after this post, so I think I can live with that.

So yeah. Bucky is Cap. And Cap is back. And Spencer? Spencer's yawning. Why is Spencer yawning? Spencer is yawning because it looks not much has changed in the world of Captain America. The Red Skull is still around.... Some of those new baddies like Dr. Faustus and Arnim Zola that were re-introduced 15 to 20 some odd issues ago are hanging on his arm... And the new Cap is sent out to take on AIM agents trying to steal money from Wall Street. Talk about a shitty ass debut. I get what's going on. Iron Man wants Cap-Bucky to start out slow. Stretch out the ol' chain mail before they throw him at some Skrulls. I get it. It was just a boring issue. The biggest threat in this issue was Sub-prime Mortgages. Sorry, friend, but I already faced that threat two years ago. I'm over getting my ass handed to me by Sub-Prime Mortgage Lenders. Its time for some new enemies to step up already. I've been gone a long time, but this makes me glad that I stayed away. Sorry, Jason. I tried. I really did.

Last but not least.... New Avengers Annual # 2. Yeah. Fuckin' Bendis. Figured I'd drop in and see what's up with that science experiment that I got going on with Bendis. Its the one where I remember how much I loved his Daredevil, Alias and early Powers and hope that he FINALLY ironed out the kinks in his more recent work. Not too mention, get a gauge for what's going in my beloved Marvel U seeing how he's one of the guys in charge.

Guess what, readers? Its still not good. Did I spoil that one, too? I figured I must be the last DECENT blogger who is still dipping their toes in that stagnating pool, so I guess its only fair that I share.

The book opens up with the Hood and crew going BACK to Tigra's place to get the Feminists and Tigra fans upset by having him punk her once again. Instead of beating the crap out of her and videotaping it in some kind of shitty fashion that ended with Bendis patting himself on the back at Newsarama for handling a scene like that with such class, she caves and gives up the goods without a fight. The goods that I'm talking about is the location of where the New Avengers are hiding. Can't blame her, because there is the Hood with a gun to her head again, but with like.....8 dudes in the shadows looking all scary.

Now that the Hood knows where the New Avengers are, he takes to their front door. He's not gonna punk out like Iron Man and bring in Brother Voodoo. Nah, he's just gonna jump into that faux looking run down building that used to belong to the Sorceror Supreme which will soon become a Starbucks and start punching around until he hits Wolverine in his Canadian face. But first?

Well, let's set the scene for those who haven't had the chance to waste their money on this issue. Before you storm into the good guys' hangout, you gotta pump everyone up. You know, cheerlead a little bit. But it ain't the kind of cheerleading it would expect from a team leader. No. This one involves everyones standing around like a bad ass, posing for their picture in the Official Marvel Handbook. After doing that for a few minutes, some numbnuts Thor villian can't stand the suspense. What's he gonna say? Naturally, it goes something like this:

Piledriver, the numbnuts Thor villian, stands there looking all bad azz with his arm crossed, as you can see by his decision to replace his standard villian costume shirt with a wife beater. Yeah, bro.... You fuckin' rip. You wanna punch some good guys? Good thing you wore that wife-beater, dude, 'cuz there's a bunch of super hero bitches in there that need to get bitch slapped.

Let's do this!

Piledriver says to the guy in charge(that's the Hood), "So What'cha Think, Hood?" See, Piledriver, he don't fuck around. He's thinking about how they're gonna stomp them Neg Reg heroes! He's fired UP! and ready to GO! Like the man said.....

So What'cha Think, Hood?

(anticipation)

(followed by more anticipation)

(its only seconds, but damn, I wanna crack heads so every second of anticipation just gets me more riled up, anticipation)

(god, the anticipation is killing, anticipation)

(fuck me, I wanna punch a Spider-man in his face, I'm so anticipating right now, anticipating anticipation)

(followed by more anticipation)

(what's that crazy new villian mastermind on the block gonna say, anticipation)

(in case you're wondering, the question is "So What'cha Think, Hood?" anticipation)

(....-tion)

Fuck it, here's the panel:



*blink, blink*

Fuck you, Bendis.

Don't waste my time with your shit anymore. I really don't give a shit what the Hood thinks about the music industry. The only thing worst than being a poor man's Aaron Sorkin is being the Comic Book version of a poor man's Aaron Sorkin. I want my heroes and villians to awesome. Not cheeky. AWESOME.

Is that too much?

Color me unsurprised because the rest of this comic was a big pile of crap. Like, all over. Just stupid. At one part Spidey swings in and takes Luke and Jessica's baby so he can get the baby to safety, but does so without really explaining why he's doing it, sending Luke into his typical Angry Black Guy routine that Bendis believes works so well for his character. More yawns.

---

Them are the super hero comics I bought and read. There was also Astro City: Dark Age # 4, but I haven't gotten to that one yet. Next, I'll ramble on about a few of the indie comics that I bought, like '76 and Pax Romana(which ruled). I totally forgot about Fell so that will have to wait. Set your RSS Feeds to Of Course, Yeah and it'll be like Christmas in March when I update this again.

Toodles!

Looking at DC & Marvel, but through Octopi Eyes!

You remember how not too long ago I was all hating on comics for being crappy? Well, they're still mostly crappy, and thank god for that because without crappy comics I don't think any of us would ever have a reason to go online, but I'm finding my distaste for them going on a seasonal decline. Why? Beats the hell out of me, really. Since I won't have the funds until friday to purchase new vittles for my comic book reading appetite, I've been going through some old trades to get my jones on. I can't think of a better time and place than now to talk about them so let's do just that!


JSA: The Golden Age
As you all know, I am not what you call a 'DC Guy.' When I think of DC comics, I think of playing peanuckle with my grandma while sipping tea on lazy sunday afternoon. Its great and all, but I'd rather be doing other things. That's just me, though. The good thing about JSA: The Golden Age is that it is the DCU straying away from that middle-of-the-road super hero business and getting down and dirty with it. Its got that edginess laid out in front of you, but with a touch of class that usually escapes most Marvel comics. Using the Red Scare as a backdrop, James Robinson crafted a well thought out suspense thriller that works as a great send off to the bygone era of the 40's and 50's mystery men. Re-reading this makes me wish that there was a comic where Alan Scott punchs Hal Jordan AND Guy Gardner in their stomachs to show the world how sissy they really are when compared to the Tower Of A Man That Is Alan Scott The Original Green Lantern, big puffy sleaves and all. Alan Scott is the type of guy that will be 80+ years old, sitting in a wheelchair, talking about how he could whoop your uppity 20 something year old punk ass. And he probably would, too. Alan Scott is not one to be fussed with. When I first read this a year or two ago, it actually made me want to catch up on the JSA and see how things were going for them in the current DCU. Maybe one of these days I will. Until then, I can look at this Elseworlds Tale and say "Me and Hourman have something in common: we've both done drugs!" Not even reading Amazing Spider-man can make me say that. And that's something.


Fantastic Four: 1 2 3 4
The only FF comics I own are Civil War Tie-ins or are drawn by Mark Bagley. I like the FF, but I just haven't read the right FF story to get me completely hooked. I know, I know, apparently John Byrne is where its at with this book. Enough already. I got this trade because, well....its Grant Morrison and Jae frickin' Lee! And its gooooood. Dark, moody, and scary as all hell at points. Morrison takes one of the brightest, shiniest super hero teams and puts them up against the ropes while Lee illustrates it all for us to see in usual dark and moody style, which works out great to accent to the feeling of DOOM hanging over our heroes' heads. Through the eyes of Grant Morrison, you get a real sense of what makes these characters tick. Its a psychological thriller that only lets up when the good guys finally beat on the bad guy. Its not enough to make want to buy everything FF yesterday, but it helps push me in the right direction.


Kingdom Come
I don't know what's so bad about Alex Ross. Sure, he's all antiquated in ways regarding the DCU and the only new changes that he acknowledges are those that lean towards the ones we see made in Kingdom Come, but brothers and sisters.....the dude can paint. And sure, sometimes the painting comes off as stiff and doesn't explode at you from the page like a Kirby panel would, but that's 90% of the guys working in the industry right now. Regardless, y'all got your opinions and I got mine. Let's move on, shall we?

I like Kingdom Come because I like Alternate Futures. They're fun. Its always interesting to see what time can do to our beloved heroes and villians. What do you think Spider-man's gonna be like when he's older? Let's go to the future and see! You ever think Wolverine will just keep on living while the rest of the X-men die, and if so, will he be all emo sad about it? Let's go to the future and see! Now I can agree with you that most stories that jump forward in time are usually piles of crap. But we're talking about super hero comics here. They're all usually are just big piles of crap. Knocking the premise just because a writer doesn't know what to do with it is unfair and childish.

What Kingdom Come is, is a love letter to DC. Apparently DC has a lot comics that function on this same kind of level, its just that Kingdom Come is doing it like Woah. Kingdom Come works so well as a love letter from Mark Waid and Alex Ross to the DCU that, that love is so great and exponentially infecting that it even transferred itself on to me. That's right! Kingdom Come knocked a little bit of ice off of my cold, cold Marvel heart. I even gave my friend Ryan, a DC fan, a hug after reading this. Its interesting when you compare Kingdom Come to what's going on right now in the current DCU. Not that I'm reading a lot of DC comics, but by the look of things, its getting pretty bad. If I must say, its starting to look like Marvel comics stayed over for the weekend and left the DCU with nothing to show for it except a heaping dose of STDs. If the current issue of the Flash is a clear cut indicator of what DC is doing as a whole(which it seems it has been the past week), DC and Fun had themselves a little bit of a falling out. I thought One Year Later was our way of getting away from all that negativity, but it looks like they're still knee deep in it over there. Sorry, DC fans, but it seems that the Marvel way of doing things is so damn lucrative and appealing that the guys in charge are trying to steal our thunder! We're just better looking, is all! Don't believe me? Go check out the Bendis Board! Nothing but 20 to 30 something year old hotties posting about New Avengers and Veronica Mars! LOL!

New Warriors # 1

I finally got around to reading New Warriors # 1 which is a book that I did not want to miss. And why is that? Because I'm a huge fan of the original 25 issues of New Warriors. I became a fan in the 5th grade when a friend let me read his copy of issue # 1. This series was the first 4 color super hero team book I really sank my teeth into. Other books I was reading at the time were heavily tied to my love for 80's action movies and cartoons, such as Punisher and G.I. Joe, or featured a solo character such as Amazing Spider-man. The first team book I got into was Uncanny X-men (which I jumped on around issue # 270) however the tone of Uncanny X-men at the time was more serious and sometimes darker then the standard super hero fare. Magneto was issues away from killing Zaladane in the Savage Land; Wolverine, Jubilee & Psylocke had just fought off the Mandarin, mind control and a cadre of Hand ninjas in Madripoor; Dazzler was stalked by an obsessive fan; the mutant hating nation of Genosha had just kidnapped Xavier's students, which resulted in one of their deaths. This era of X-men stories were extremely well crafted, so much that they are partially responsible for the "sophisicated, written for the big screen" type comics that dominant the current comic book landscape, however they lacked the one thing that New Warriors excelled at and helped to turn me on to: good old fashion super hero fun.

Issue # 1 of this current New Warriors series by Kevin Grevioux and Paco Medina doesn't have that same sense of super heroics that Fabian Nicieza and Mark Bagley's original series did. Where the original New Warriors comics were at most times easy going and fun, this version of the New Warriors seems to forgo the light hearted nature of its predecessor and takes up a completely new agenda of its own which seems to only be saying "F You" to Tony Stark and the Registration. The only real light moment that comes up in this issue is the flirtation between Sofia and a young male customer who frequents the dinner she works at. Unfortunately, it suffers from the same poor dialogue that affects most teen characters in a medium that is mostly curated by middle aged men, a flaw that Nicieza himself, in my opinion, never really suffered from. Other than that, the rest of the book deals with the agenda at hand.

We start up with a glimpse of the New Warriors in action, chasing and catching a villian, only to leave him tied up with a message for both the super-villian community and the authorities in charge: Consider yourself warned. A sub plot is dangled in front of us, involving some NY police detectives that will be no doubt on the case of these New Warriors. We get a look inside the head of our lead character, Sofia, a former New Mutant by the name of Wind Dancer that lost her powers in the Decimation that came from House Of M. The recruitment process for Sofia starts off with a series of mysterious messages from an unknown party that ends with her being led into the Base Of Operations of the New Warriors. Night Thrasher, a former New Warriors, is re-introduced in a cliff hanger ending, leading us to question whether not he is somehow back from the explosion that killed him in Civil War # 1 or his suit is being worn by someone else. Its an interesting introduction to a new series, but its obviously far from over. We're still missing some members from the roster and its safe to say that we're 5 issues away from the obligatory "Woah, Buddy!" moment that solidifies every new super hero team's line up and mission purpose.

This isn't a comic book for new readers. Its a comic book for the fans of the New Warriors and Captain America's anti-Registration side, a demographic that is by its very nature is specific and narrow. Any complaints of the issue being "new reader unfriendly" really miss the point. This is for those Marvel fans that are intimately familiar with what has happened in the past two years of Marvel's publishing schedule, giving them a chance to see some kind of possible redemption for story lines that they are unhappy with. A mutant who was depowered due to Scarlet Witch's "No More Mutants" is given both the character, and all 5 of her fans, a second chance. The New Warriors are brought back to life, turning them from mere cannon fodder into the ones that are now manning the cannons. And they're pointing them directly at Stark Tower. The banner that was dropped by the anti-Registration's side at the end of Civil War is being picked right back up and turned into guerilla-styled tactics and subversive slogans painted on city walls to give voice to protest. The war is over but the revolution lives on...

Its not the worse book out there. It is nice to think of this being the book that echoes our own sentiments towards the outcome of Civil War. At some point, one of the lead characters will undoubtfully being wearing a 'Cap Was Right' t-shirt. Soon enough, we will see our New Warriors going toe to toe with Iron Man & Co. giving a select few of us that strange moment of escapist fantasy where our favorite D-Lister gets to smack Mr. Stark a good one for being such a prick. The only difference from New Warriors and the other comics that feature characters with dissenting voices against the Pro-Registration side such as Nova or the New Avengers is that the whole crux of this foray in escapism is very much dependent on the current state of things. What happens when that status quo changes? When the Post Civil War Marvel U. reverts back into the Plain Ol' Marvel U, a character like Nova can just fly back into space and pick up where the past decade of Marvel publishing has left off. And the New Avengers have Spider-man and Wolverine. What will be left for the New Warriors to do once there is no more Fascist Tony Stark to get them all riled up? Is there a Fugazi in the future for the Marvel U's Minor Threat?

Probably not. When this series gets cancelled, we'll be left with the same small group of dedicated New Warriors fans, begging blogging for a return to a time when Kickflip 5-0s to Haymakers ruled, Speedball was a fun, lovable loser, and Namorita was a shining example of a female super hero done right. Until then, we can be content with a group of nobodies telling Tony Stark to go $#&@ himself.

Fallen Short

Don't know if you guys heard, but Captain America died. Oops! I forgot my spoiler tags, didn't I! Yeah, well, he's dead, bro. Sorry. And now we get see how the Marvel U. grieves. As of this date we are currently going through the first 2 stages of some snoody professor something or other's 5 Stages Of Grief.


Stage 1, homey! Denial!

That's where Wolverine comes in and gets all "nuh uh, bitches!" and starts his poking around. That's right, Wolvie! Ain't nobody should believe that Cap's dead unless you, Canadian Mutie Ultimate Killing Cigar Smoking Machine, confirms. Before he does, he tries to get Cap's old shower-grab-ass buddy, Bucky, in on it. Bucky's all vague and stupid, so Wolvie ditches his lame-o ass and gets DD on the case. After some sneaking around and what not, sho' nuff, it turns that Captain America is really dead. And that's Denial for you. Next time I'm in the midst of Grief Attack, I will turn to my good friend, Wolverine, for some proper guidance on how to deal with Denial. It ain't just a river in Egypt!



Next, we have Stage 2!

The main boss at the end of this level is Anger, with Whiny Spider-man and Pissy Pants Namor as the mini-bosses. Pass this level and you get to upgrade to BARGAINING with Captain America....? Wait a second. With Captain America? Isn't he dead? Now, here is where I would talk about what happens in Fallen Soldier: Avengers, but its really just a bunch of heroes getting all mad and upset and whiny, which just plays out as bad as it sounds. What I want to know is what happens in Fallen Soldier: Bargaining if Captain America is dead?

Does that mean we get to see Steve Rogers in hell(cuz you know that's where he belongs!) bargaining with Mephisto for his soul? Let's hope so. If we're lucky, we'll get ourselves a Ghost Riding Captain America. Wouldn't that be effin' suh-WEET?! Hells to yeah, my friends. Someone get Brevoort and Quesada to green light my Ghost Riding Captain America proposal ASAP! I'm talking flaming Shields and a penance stare that chills you to the bone 'cuz you're being un-patriotic! I can say with the upmost honesty that Flaming Skull Captain America who rides across the U S of A on a motorcycle with fire for wheels with a flag flying from the back of it is probably the most American Thing you would ever see.

If you just teared up while reading that last sentence, pat yourself on the back for being a proud citizen of the greatest nation on Earth. You're one of the good ones, my friend.

What I read last week

Army @ Love # 1

I had high hopes for this. I have enjoyed most of the stuff I have read from Rick Vietch and was looking forward to a Vertigo book that seemed as if it would capture some of the 90's Vertigo spirit. Where I am a fan of Veitch's sophisticated work on Swamp Thing and Question, I find myself a little put off by the over-the-top gratituitous nature of his Maximortal and Bratpack. Unfortunately, that is the category that Army @ Love falls into. Soldiers fighting a pointless battle that leads to a pointless sex scene that is being sold as an attempt to advance the plot. Since the plot is a bit weak, it only comes off as empty shock value. And not that shock value for the sake of just being shocking is bad, I was expecting a little bit more. Its only the first issue, so things can definitely turn around. Until it does, I will leave it up to others to figure it out and let me know accordingly.


Dark Tower: Gunslinger Born # 3

On the third issue, Dark Tower: Gunslinger Born has paid off very well. Jae Lee does a fantastic job as always with Richard Isanove complimenting his style perfectly on colors. The script is solid, too. I am a bit of a sucker for that whole post-apocalyptic low tech future setting thanks to quite a few years sitting at a table, rolling dice, and consuming large amounts of Coca-Cola in my teenage years. My friend, who is a huge Dark Tower fan loved the first two issues that I gave to him to read. Myself, I stayed away from Stephen King, due to a series of horrendous straight-to-TV movies that were spat out back in the 90's. I know, its dumb, but that's how do sometimes. But you put a Stephen King book into comic form and sure enough, I will pick it up and read it. That's the power of comics for ya! When this is done, I will probably borrow my friend's books to see what the hoohah is all about.


Iron Fist # 4

Best damn superhero/kung fu book on the shelf. If you are not reading this, you are killing comics. Fraction and Bru are doing a bang up job, with Aja kicking ass on art. And the guest artists are awesome. Whoever thought a dude wearing ballet slippers could be so cool?





Madman Atomic Comics # 1

This is the first Madman comic I have ever read and I want to apologize for that. When I was reading X-men comics, I was sleeping on what is such a fun book. Mike Allred can draw something fierce and his wife does such a great job of polishing it all up for all of us to enjoy. Now I just need to find a way to scrounge up $175 just so I can buy that huge book that's coming out soon. This book is all catch up, which is fine for me because I am totally in the dark about the world of Madman and found myself quite surprised on what has been going on in his neck of the woods. Solid stuff, my friends. Get it!


Brownsville TPB

Jewish gangsters set in 1930's New York. I love the crime genre, but this one takes a lot of the conventions associated with your typical mafia story and replace the italians with jews. And the art. Its not bad, but I could never tell anyone apart from each other. Being in black & white definitely did not help. If you are big on the mobster scene, this might do something for you. If you're smart, you will heed my sage-like advice and pass it up for something with a little more substance and originality.




Ode To Kirihito TPB

This blew me away. An 800 page medical/horror drama from the Godfather of Manga himself, Osamu Tezuka. I read it in two days. The visual tricks alone that Tezuka employs are worth the book alone. The book's style stay well within his classical early Disney influenced style as seen by most in Astro Boy, but breaks away into a more detailed form that jumps closer to photo-realism at just the right moment. This carries a real huge emotional impact at times as issues of racism, fear, and treachery run rampant through out the book. A young doctor goes to investigate a rural japanese village where some of the denizens are mysteriously turning into dog-like humanoids that eventually die. Once he gets there, the adventure and intrigue start up and it keeps going from there. Doctors squabble about the right away to cure the condition while victims confront the world that does not understand them. Things get pretty weird in this book. It suffers slightly from using rape as a motivater for the male protagonists which is the only short-coming of the book. Other than that, its a brilliant piece of work that has got me interested in reading some of Tezuka's other work.

Enlist or Die!

BeaucoupKevin has this new forum and in that forum, he has started The Comic Book Club. What is The Comic Book Club? Its a place where we pick a comic book and discuss it. Pretty nifty, huh. Right now we got the first six issues of Watchmen set up to be dissected and discussed. I think I am out of the running on that one because someone bored my trade and never gave it back! There's a poll on the next book we are going to talk about with DMZ currently in the lead. I am not a big fan of DMZ, BUT it should be an interesting discussion that will hopefully not degenerate into me calling everyone else tasteless monkey rapers. Of Course, Yeah! favorite Jason has signed up. Why don't you?

Some days you just have to take a break...

Would you believe me if I said that Mighty Avengers # 1 was so bad that it caused me to NOT blog for a few days? Because it did, for reasons including, but not limited to:

1. Whatshisface isn't all that good unless he's drawing biggums and booties. His monsters are neat, but other than that, yawn!


2. That new SHIELD Iron-Carrier. Ug meet Lee! Are they really trying to do that? First you have to ruin Spider-man's costume and now one of the most awesomest flying bases ever? Really, Mr. Stark? I imagine you signing on to SHIELD meant they had to change the colors on that bird logo to Gold and Red, huh.


3. Bendis's hella lame use of thought balloons. Its like taking his "realistic" dialogue to the next level. Instead of having to read the spoken "ums...", "well, uhs...", and "(wows.)", I get to peer into the mind of Carol Danvers as she THINKS them! Shoot me now!


4. Sultron 2.ooooooh...this gives me a weird feeling that sometime in the very near future I am going to be turned on by a female Egghead.

Its like they don't want me to buy comics sometimes!

Get Your Blog On

Yesterday, I bought some new comics. Today, I blog about them. Its like fate sometimes how these things work themselves out.

• Civil War: Casualities Of War
  "Remember that time when we were friends and now we're not? Yeah, me, too. Let's fight!"
  
  And that's how it goes. If Marvel was smart, they should have just filled this issue with reprints from some of those old issues that were referenced in this comic and made it into a trade. At $19.95 a pop, Captain America & Iron Man: That Time There Was Only One Set Of Footprints In The Sand Was Because That Was When I Was Carrying You would have flown off the shelves and into our hearts. If that trade played Andrew Gold's "Thank You For Being A Friend" while you read it, I am fairly certain that it would make Time Best Of 2006 Top Ten List. "and if you had a party...."



• Iron Man # 14
  "Being a super-villian sure is tough."
  
  I know, Tony. Why do you think guys like Dr. Doom, Leader, the Red Skull, Loki and the Absorbing Man are always so damn pissed off at you heroes when they come back from obscurity to take you on for what they wish was ONE LAST AND FINAL TIME? They want a return on their investment towards Evil! With repayment in full! + Interest! You hire a bunch of goons and build a bunch of robots, only to have your crime ring slash attempts at world domination foiled by some guy with a suit and goofy name that starts with noun and ends with the word "man" you too will find that life is tough and stressful. Its almost as if every superhero under the sun is out to get you! Buck up, old chum. The finish line is in sight and if what I am hearing is correct, your ass skips the trip to Disneyland and heads straight into the loving arms of a S.H.I.E.L.D. Heli-Carrier that is guaranteed to blow up within the first 6 issue arc. If that is not a victory, what is?



• New Avengers # 26
  "If you just wanted to sleep with me, you could have just asked. Using Chaos Magick created Kree Soldiers really sends the wrong kind of message, don't you agree?"
  
  Oh yes, I get it now! This is why its called NEW Avengers. Because its not like the OLD Avengers. If this was OLD Avengers the Mantis would show up to help the team fight Egghead & The Masters Of Evil while Jarvis serves tea. In NEW Avengers, we have things like trannie ninjas, superhero ramblings, and Hawkeye-And-Scarlet-Witch Make Up Sex. I'm sorry, did I spoil that for you? Oops.
  
  This issue is why a series like Marvel Comics Presents should be in circulation. No, not so we can have some story about the X-Factor era blue Beast accidentally running into a cyborg gang of ninja bots while he's on the way to the store. This isn't bad, but it doesn't belong in an Avengers book. Its belongs in Marvel Comics Presents, 8 pages at a time, on a bi-weekly schedule alongside a story of the Powerpack fighting a Mandroid at the Niagara Falls. Despite having the wrong title of the cover, Alex can still draw even if his line weight can be a little dead from time to time. I can guarantee that this issue will probably piss you off at some point or other.



• New Avengers: Illuminati # 1
  "Ok, why do I always get stuck carrying the crippled guy every time his wheelchair gets knocked over? Seriously, what's up with that?"
  
  The Illuminati is arguably one of the best contributions that Bendis has made to Marvel Comics. Its a nice spin on well established characters that is not completely out of character like some OTHER big name writers... As Carla says, it is pretty much just the A-Team of the 616. As for who is BA and who is Face, you can discuss that over at her wonderful site in the comments. Over here? We inarticulate our thoughts with great ease and work REAL jobs that do not involve bagging and boarding comic books on the daily basis!
  
  Ahem. I don't know about you guys, but I liked it. Sure, you could argue all these great minds would probaby be a little more careful when it comes to storming the Skrull gates, but what's wrong with a little goof up from time to time? Especially when it ends with Charles Xavier getting knocked on his ass. Ok, maybe not that last part. I really enjoyed the part where the Skrulls are rocking the torture stick on the members of the Illuminati, as their observations seemed on par with good comic book science. There was only one page that showed a confusing fight scene, which is down from the usual 3 to 4 pagesof confusing fight scenes that Bendis tends to write. Maybe Brian Reed is responsible for that, I can not say for sure. And Cheung, even though your anatomy seems to be a little off when compared with the heads of the characters you draw, I like your style. Definitely looking forward to the next issue. If you guys could some how throw in a reference to the X-Cutioner's Song, I will cyber-high 5 the lot of yous.

The Bulleteer # 1

The Girlfriend caught me reading this. She called me a pervert. I tried to explain to her the grand scope of Grant Morrison's hair-brained experiment with sequential art using D-list super heroes from the DC Universe and how I have to keep reading this cheesecake boobwar comic lest I get left in the dust. She asked me what "boobwar" meant. I showed her how our heroine is a victim of her sexually deviant husband who wants her to become a super hero so that they can stay eternally young, much like the girls that he sees on his super hero teen sex sites that he visits secretly. She searched my browser history for super hero teen sex sites that I might have visited secretly. I told her about Klarion the Witchboy, the pariah from an underground puritan society that raise their dead to help them to work the fields. She brought up the fact that I was raised Mormon. I explained to her about the journey through Time and Space that our Shining Knight Justin went through and how at the end he turned out to be a she, much to the surprise of Gloriana Tenebrae, Queen Sheeda Supreme. She brought up the fact that I used to play D & D in junior high. I told her that she was dumb and I'm going to keep reading my Bulleteer regardless of what she thought of me. She called me a pervert again.

Wintermen # 3

Wintermen # 3

In the tradition of our F.I.W.O.T.T hating friend from Listen to Us, We're Right, I am going to show you what kind of exciting dialogue you kids are missing out on:













That last one is the best. Lewis and Leon are the like the Hall and Oates of comics!

I'm sure there's kind of crazy hilarious hiaku in those pages somewhere but I don't possess the comic book analytical powers that belong to Scipio.

Are some of you still not reading this?

Stray Bullets # 40

This book has become a bit of lamer as of late. Its good. I like it. Shit still gets all crazy. Virginia Applejack is still kicking ass or getting her ass kicked, but its lost a little bit of its randomness. Ever since the "Dark Days" arc, its sticking more to the stories that span several issues instead of doing the all-in-one-issue story. Granted, the story arcs still jump around randomly, rotating between the various different members of the cast and showing their place in the story, that eventually pays off with some kind of end result, its not the same.

Virginia, now back in Baltimore and in high school, has been having an all out war with some punk ass highschool kids. Things heat up, get crazy, and you wonder how fucking cruel kids must have been to Mr. Lapham when he was a teenager himself. This issue focuses on the deaf father of Kevin, one of the highschool kids that is terrorizing Virginia. In addition to being deaf, he's harboring a secret that he is constantly nervous about others possibly discovering. This combination of suspense along with his handicap provides a story that was a little bit hard to understand at first. Kevin's father's handicap became my handicap. Events unfold around Kevin's father, who, when he has his hearing aid turned on, tries to ignore or hide from them. Being home on a work day because he's tending to his little secret turns into a confrontation between himself and his son, who is ditching school to beat up a kidnapped Virginia. When I was reading the scenes where Kevin is torturing Virginia, it took a second for me to decide if Kevin's father was ignoring him or just not hearing the commotion that was going on.

Maybe I'm an idiot. I don't know. Stray Bullets just hasn't been the same since before "Dark Days" and this is no different. Its good. I'm going to keep buying it as its one of the comics that I have been following and enjoying for the past 5 years or so, but really...

I think I just miss Beth. Virginia is cool, but Beth is O.G.

House Of M # 8

Taking a page from the boys over at 2 Guys Buying Comics, I'm just going to post these things one comic at a time. My reading habits as of late are a bit slow, so I don't see any reason to hold off on the insults until I've read all of my weekly comics. So without further ado...


House Of M # 8

So here we are. In a world with no mutants. Now, Joe Q can say things like "You know, I think their has been too many mutants. Let's put the LID on mutants. Take it back to a day when they were feared and hunted. Now its EXCITING. Now the world of the X-Men is ASTONISHING. Now we can get things ready for them to come BACK. We can watch characters like RUSTY and SKIDS go through the long journey of regaining their powers. Hey, we can even bring Jean Grey back. You think they forgot the fact that we only killed Jean Grey a year and a half ago? Someone call Bendis."

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And of course they take out a few characters from New X-Men Academy. Big deal. And will, there is that one member of the original five X-men that lost his powers... Oh, and that other mutant, who hates all humans or something. But really, they should have took more chances. Instead of all of the Decimation books, we could the February previews look something like this...

COLOSSUS: DEEP UNDER COVER

WRITTEN BY: WARREN ELLIS
PENCIL BY: DARICK ROBERTSON
COVER BY: GREG LAND

Reeling from House Of M's reprecussions, Colossus is a mutant no more! How does the Russian deal with a world that no longer fears and hates him? Longing to be ostracized and in the middle of the action once again, Piotr Rasputin signs up for an experimental transformation process which will imbue him with superhuman strength. Instead of turning into metal...he has turns into a woman! With great tits!

Drafted by a newer, more rotten S.H.I.E.L.D., Piotr becomes a super spy who most use his he-she powers of seduction along with his combat experience to go deep undercover and fight, sleep, and smoke his way to the highest echelons of Russia's Red Room. And what Union Jack wants with this Russian bombshell super spy is anyones guess! To top it all off, Piotr has become the victim of the lewd sexual advances of Lenin's Ghost! Transgendered Super Hero Espionage Supernatural Action?! You saw it here first, True Believers.

32 PGS./T+ SUGGESTED FOR TEENS AND UP ...$2.50


BOBBY

WRITTEN BY: CHRIS CLAREMONT
PENCIL BY: ADRIAN ALPHONA
COVER BY: GREG LAND

What's a mutant to do once he loses his powers? Act! Bobby Drake, formely known as Iceman of the X-men, has moved to Los Angeles and now waits tables between rehearsals! Watch Bobby as he tries his best to hold down a job at a vegan Melrose Cafe, make it to acting class on time, network with other aspiring actors and actresses, and pay his cell phone bill!

5 months in LA with only a commercial and 2 line part in an independent film to his resume, Bobby is starting to feel the strain. But hopes are up as he's finally gotten himself a date with his co-worker, Jenna. After a dinner at the Electric Lotus and few drinks at the Beauty Bar, will Bobby be able to score? And what are all those whips and chains in Jenna's closet for...? Kind of makes you wonder if the Human Torch ever had it this bad.

32 PGS./T+ SUGGESTED FOR TEENS AND UP ...$2.50


DRACONIAN: MAN OF THE CLOTH

WRITTEN BY: J. D. Finn
PENCIL BY: GREG CAPULLO
COVER BY: GREG LAND

Robbed of his mutant powers, the X-Men known as Nightcrawler is now only Kurt Wagner. And he's pissed! Believing him to be renounced by God himself, Kurt embarks upon an unholy war against the Church. Armed with an armory that could take out an Army, Kurt starts his war in the Bible belt. Snake Handlers beware!

But his actions haven't gone unnoticed. Infuriated by his son's loss, Azazel seeks out Kurt to give him a second chance! Witness the first appearance of the Draconian, as he partakes in unholy communion only to become the most heavily armed half demon this side of Hades! This shit is fucking metal!

32 PGS./T+ SUGGESTED FOR TEENS AND UP ...$2.50

They write themselves. I swear. My only regret is that I don't have the time to make some photoshopped Greg Land covers.

10/26/05 Reviews

Another round of reviews here for your reading pleasure. This time around we get our monthly fill of Bendis, the last and final book of Marvel's monster fest, and Mike Allred's Solo. Half of this week was really good. The other half? Not really good at all.

Daredevil # 78

As Bendis ends his mostly sensational(and unfortunately sometimes lackluster) run on a book that Mr. Warren Ellis himself has referred to as "such a scary gig", Bendis starts to bring the house down, with guest stars galore.

Ever since the revelation of Daredevil's secret identity by the tabloid press, which has been the real notch that Bendis has added to history of this book, its been a constant shuck-and-jive for our Man Without Fear. Using his radioactive induced powers of enhanced senses(sans the eyes, of course, because OMG! SPOILERZ! he was blinded by the very same accident which gave him his powers!), DD has managed to evade all manners of surveillance equipment, be they tele-photo lens, night vision googles, hidden cameras, satellite looking guns that hear things from afar, or white vans that pose as delivery trucks for Flower By Irene. Imagine the frustration that must come from being a detective on this case. "Dude! Matt Murdock went INTO that building and NOW Daredevil's on the roof?! Fuck! How can we not prove he's the goddamn Daredevil, huh?!? I mean- I mean, what are we using here to capture this guy?! X-RAY-FUCKING-SPEX!?!?" Frustrating to say the least. But not this time around. Oh no. We have the Kingpin himself, Wilson Fisk, ready to spill the beans. Apparently he missed being fucked with by New York's elite of super heroes and decided to bargain for his freedom so that he can resume the stranglehold he had on the criminal underworld. So what's he doing? Exchanging a dossier of info on Daredevil, aptly called the "Murdock Papers", for his freedom.

Not a bad premise, really.

Along for the ride is Ben Ulrich, doing his whole looking-down-at-you-from-behind-my-glasses-in-somewhat-disbelief schtick, as the Kingpin conducts this little bit of business. I think Mr. Fisk feels bad about that one time with that one ninja assassin and the whole sai in his chest incident so he feels that he needs to throw Mr. Ulrich a bone. Considering Mr. Ulrich's stance on giving up DD's identity [see Daredevil Vol. 2 # 34 for yourselves, Devoted Readers! - Stupendously Studly Spencer], I think he's just there because it was a Wednesday, and Matlock was that one episode that he hates hates hates, so why not hang out and see what this old fat dude is up to. Speaking of old fat dudes, let us take a walk done memory lane...



That's some swank right there. Granted, he never changed his suit much, but that was because he didn't have to. White jacket, purple pants, orange vest, white scarf, cuban cigar, and a cane that's probably got some kind of sword action hidden inside of it.

Now look at him now:




Somebody give that man an Armani suit and a hired super-villian assassin, stat!

Ok, enough of all that. Back to the comic. This was a really good issue. Its got Luke Cage and the Iron Fist safely escorting Foggy Nelson from a media circus with Mr. Cage swearing up a storm as they do it. Elektra shows up at Matt Murdock's window, launching a ridiculously unprovoked attack on her from Matt himself. Black Widow gets all sassy and tells that same harlot that showed at Matt's window that she's all lame and could probably be better with a new haircut. White Tiger shows up and asks if its ok if she can come along for the ride and throw her ex-F.B.I.-turned-super-hero into the pulp-vigilante slash resurrected-hand-ninja-assassin slash russian-super-spy mush pot. The Owl gets all "nuh uh" about Kingpin's plans from the big house. And at the end, even Bull's Eye himself shows up to get all white boy day on everyone! Who saw that coming?

Ok, he's on the cover, but I thought it was Brian K. Vaughan. I'm a little slow.

All I know, is that when I finished this issue with its cliff hanger ending that promise major ass kicking action next issue, I heard some "wah-ah-ah-ah!" ala Disturbed's style in my head.

That's what Bendis wants to think, right? That this is a movie, right? Right?


Marvel Monsters: Monsters On The Prowl # 1

The fourth and final week of Marvel's little Halloween romp, and what do we have? Steve Niles. Zzzzzzzzz. Sorry, but Steve Niles is not very good in my book. Same goes for this book, too. Instead of being a funny book with some monsters, its a monster book with a little bit of funny, but not enough. The Hulk talks dumb(but not funny dumb), Giant Man wrestles some huge monster, Beast accidentally realizes that he can contact Mr. Fantastic through the Fantasti-Flying Thingamawhatever to help them figure out a way to defeat the monsters, with Thing organizing the whole thing. Duncan Fedredo does a good job with the pencils, giving it a nice late 60s, early 70s vibe. His Hulk is especially nice. Everything else? Lame. I wanted this to be really funny, but it wasn't. What can you do? Ask for your money back?


New Avengers # 12

Once again, we are thrown into the world of a Bendis ruled 616. In theory, this should work for me, as Bendis has produced some of my favorite work in the field of sequential art as of the past few years, but it doesn't. Big time super heroes like the Avengers isn't really Bendis's strong suit. Instead of delivering an action packed book of bang up goodness, its a little awkward. Normally events start to happen that get thrown to the side to make way for his love of dialogue that really feels forced. Not this time. What we have is Captain America trying defend his sense of sarcasm while everyone is knee deep in Hand ninjas which just doesn't fit. He would be the first one to say something like "Everyone shut the hell up and hit something, please." He is the Super Soldier, not the Super Guy Who Wants To Be Cool By Making Jokes In The Middle Of A Fight Like Spiderman And Luke Cage. Instead of focusing on the awesome fight, he focuses on the "witty" dialogue during the fight. Not to say that isn't important, but it just seems out of place.

And this whole Ronin business? Bullshit. Instead of creating some suspense in the story about this character and how they are someone mysterious and radical and we should all speculate on who they are, we're TOLD to believe that this someone mysterous is awesome and we should speculate on who they are. Showing a character on the cover for 10 issues for no reason other than........yeah, I can't think of a reason other than to FORCE some kind of excitement and intrigue on us. In Bendis's defense, he has said that the covers aren't really up to him. That's good ol' Marvel for you that's forcing mysterious characters down our throat.

Its all a shame, because I really want to like this. Hydra/Hand/S.H.I.E.L.D. espionage drama? Not bad stuff. An ecclective cast of super heroes that you wouldn't think would work together doing just that? More not bad stuff. However, its not working because we have the writer that is notorious for his bad plot points on a book that should be mostly plot points. And the guy who is known for his realistic takes on dialogue gives us the lamest panel of the weak:





Yeah, its a bit weird, isn't it. And of course I being nit picky, but its comics and that's what they are there for. For me to gaze upon and nit picky over because, well....I'm a comic book nerd. Sorry, but that's how it is.


Solo # 7

Dear Mr. Allred,

You are ok in my book. I'm sorry that I never picked up Madman in its hey day. I was coming off of an Image overdose that made me pretty much give up on comics altogether. Such crazed fan boy devotion had me in its grips, and instead of maybe finding some other comics to read, I continued to read the same old tired crap done really, really bad. Its when they popped that whole x-traitor thing on us, we just HAD to stick around. I mean, who could have it been? If I knew what it would have eventually turned into, I probably would have been ok with not keeping score. And Image? Man....how could I not see what the deal was? I was in the 6th grade. All those guys rocked my world(except Valentino. He's always sucked.) And when the buzz all died down, I found myself gravitating towards Mr. Lee's Wildstorm world more than anything. I'm just a sucker for that kind of stuff, I guess. And to think it was Alan Moore's super hero gang war that sent me running from that. Isn't that a bit ironic? Yes, I was dumb, Mr. Allred. I didn't realize what this whole comic book business was about. I didn't think that the things I loved would turn their backs on me and that the one thing that would keep me stringing along was Hiroaki Samura's Blade Of The Immortal. I mean, that's Manga! That's the enemy, right? And speaking of the enemy, I'm not mad that you hang on to your silly notions of childhood nostalgia. Its ok. I do, too, I just was a child of a different time. And its ok that you're Mormon. I was once, too. Thank god for Heavy Metal. That shit saved me. But yes, its great that you're pursuing your love for the Holy Trinity by illustrating The Book Of Mormon. Maybe people can read that and hopefully stop asking me questions about special underwear and alien planets. Thank you for that. And thank you for being such an amazing illustrator. Or is it called penciller. I'm not sure, but either way, you draw some good pictures. And all this nostalgia silliness, the other Allreds do a damn fine job of not making it such a wank off spectacle. Its a little masturbatory, but not an out and out "Here's what I would have done if I wrote Silver Age comics." I never once felt like a douchebag while reading your comic because I didn't pick up something ludicrous like the Metamorpho trade. Having very little knowledge of the things you had in your issue of Solo definitely did not hamper my enjoyment of it at all. Keep up with the good work. You are definitely a person whose work I will check out more in the future. Thank you and take care.

Sincerly,
Spencer Carnage

PS: Any chance of you doing a guest stint on New Avengers? I think it would the bestest.

10/19/2005 Reviews

This week was much, much better than last week. Up this week we have Daredevil/Punisher # 5, Marvel Monsters: Fin Fang Four # 1, Klarion Witchboy # 4, and Shaolin Cowboy # 4. That's Lapham, Morrison, Irving and Darrow in one week. Hot damn!





Daredevil/Punisher # 5


This is the Frank Castle that I knew and loved when I was in the 5th grade. Back then, Punisher was a pragmatic, hard-boiled, no holds barred ex-Marine turned criminal-killing-machine. He was one of the first. However, despite his mean disposition, he was a person that you could like. You felt for him and his loss and almost believed that his mission, although rash and involving lots of dead people, made sense. When I was younger, I constantly found myself thinking "Is it possible for someone to wage a one man war on crime? And am I the person with the stones to do it? Could I wear a skull themed costume and pack a whole bunch of guns to unleash hell and brimfire upon those who could not follow the laws set forth for us?"

This warped 5th grader thinking was all because of the Punisher.

Lapham's Punisher is more in tune with the Punisher that I knew which is one of the reasons that I'm digging this mini-series so much. I have no problem with Ennis's psycho crazy Frank Castle. That's good stuff, too. However, there was a time when all Punisher was, was a guy with a mission and an armory to back it up. He didn't need a psychosis to make him interesting.

Daredevil, on the other hand, is the one that's lacking in this story. He is serving more as plot device here with his belief system(justice by due process) playing against the Punisher's(vigilante justice). He also pops up to make Punisher's life difficult, which is really the best part of DD's involvement in the story. Watching Frank get all PO'd when that uppity blind lawyer in red tights shows up and starts frolicing around while throwing cheerleader batons everywhere is great. Just imagine the complex that this already very angry man must have when folks with real powers get in the way of his vengeance.

Lapham's pencils are great, even if the colors are shitty. If you haven't been following this, pick up the trade. Get yourself some Stray Bullets while you're at it.





Marvel Monsters: Fin Fang Four # 1


This makes up for last week's bullshit fest. Classic comedy using shrunken versions of monsters before Marvel's super hero whoring days that work in Four Freedoms Plaza. Or is it the Baxter Building? And are the FF still broke? Or is this where Thing all rich and wears dumb top hats because that's what rich people do? I'm a bit confused. My funny bones have been thoroughly tickled, however I'm not sure which version of Marvel's Fantastic Four is in this comic.

Really though, this was hilarious. Little H.E.R.B.I.E-ish bots laughing at Elektro for only have 32k RAM is thumbs up. Beats all that horror crap that everyone's trying to shove down your throats this month, that's for damn sure.





Seven Soldiers: Klarion The Witchboy # 4


Here we are, another step closer to the end of this massive saga that Grant Morrison has put together for our reading pleasure, and quite frankly, we're still going strong. Now, please don't expect some elaborate critique about Seven Soldiers and how if you read Seven Soldiers: Klarion The Witchboy # 4 on the Winter Solistice in the nude with nothing but the cool air blowing upon your nether regions, you can tap into ancient celtic dryad demon lovers that will spill forth all of the secrets of the multiverse, both big and small, helping you to jump start your career with mainstream super hero comics, because, that's what Jog is for. I am not as intelligent nor articulate enough to understand half of the shit that Morrison is dropping inbetween these pages, but when I want to know, I go read Jog's blog. He is the Mad Thinker of comic book blogging, minus the Mad part. He even mention how awesome it is that Morrison and Irving have Klarion's familiar, a cat named Teekl, put on a little kitty stake. Jog gets it right.

Me?

I read my comics late and post my thoughts even later, which brings me to my one little gripe:

What happened with the bad guy? One minute, he's all dope, this underground puritan town is gonna be all my bitches, shot the Grundies and let's get on with it, until SHIT! CRAP! FUCK! its Klarion all crazy and then:





He's running scared from Klarion, they both crash into something and then!:





The bad guy's a fire monster who rants for 20 seconds. Doom and Gloom on you, Klarion, Witchboy!:




Just kidding!

...

Uh, what?

Sorry, but that's just poor writing. At least give Klarion the satisfication of kicking the guy's ass, sending him running, giving Klarion the motivation to follow. Sure, Klarion follows him because he takes off, however I just feel kind of.....well....

Grant Morrison was rubbing my comic enjoying nuts then stopped dead cold and told me that me imagining him rubbing my comic enjoying nuts would feel much better. We get a 2 page chase only to find a villian that was dead set on kicking everyone's ass is really going to turn around so he can kick the world's ass and come back for them later. I'll say it again: Uh, what?

Yeah. Doesn't make sense to me either, but what can you do. Since Klarion didn't die, does this mean that Zatanna's gonna die? I do remember some solication that one of the Soldiers was gonna kick the bucket and all we have left is that damn mindwiping JLAer, so.......

Or did I miss something? Somebody get Jog on the case, stat!





Shaolin Cowboy # 4


Who knew that Geof Darrow had it in him? This is so damn funny that its beyond words. Describing this is like telling my friends how good the Upright Citizens Brigade was. They just won't get it. In this issue alone, we have a talking horse that shits on a zombie chiropractor that is being controlled by some ancient, evil head who is being pulled around by a bird, spouting nonsense about chi and whatnot while engaged in combat with the Shaolin Cowboy as baby with bloody hands walks around saying "mine." Doesn't make sense, but it is funny funny funny times not a billion but a gang of million.

The cover of the book says "2005 Eisner Award Loser." What's not to like?

10/5/2005 Reviews

I kind of want to start this blog off a little easy. Give you sometime to sit and think about it before I blow your mind. So what's easy?

Reviews! Yay!

Unfortunately(or fortunately, you tell me) it might be short because I have recently cut down my pull list to 5 monthly titles with an assortment of bi-monthly, tri-monthly, almost quarterly, and god-awful-waiting-for-the-next-issue-of-a-comic-I-probably-don't-really-like-but-the-fanboy-in-me-just-won't-let-it-go-almost-quarterly-but-closer-to-bi-annually.

Basically I'm going to trades on most stuff, which gives me an opportunity to pick up all those books that I couldn't afford because I had 483194723983 floppies to buy that week.

The snazzy trade of the week?





The Push Man & Other Stories by Yoshihiro Tatsumi. I have absolutely no idea what to expect from this, but I'm hoping its gonna be just as great at Karasik and Mazucchelli's City Of Glass. That will have to wait for now, as I'm currently making my way through the 4th Sandman trade.

What I did read is..




Bart Simpson's Treehouse of Horror # 11


I decided on being adventurous with this one. And when I saw the spiffy Swamp Thing spoof story by none other than LEN FUCKIN' WEIN AND BERNIE DANG WRIGHTSON, I bought it.

Now, I've never ever purchased a Simpson's comic, because well...there's the TV show, right? And the comic seems like a bastard son to the TV show, which I don't even really watch anymore. However, there are people who make comments about how good the Simpson's comic is, especially at the little knocks they make at comic books in general. So why hell not.

Reading this Simpsons comic is a little weird. When you read it you just hear the voice actors in your head. And the shift in quality from the different artists just makes you think you're watching stuff from earlier seasons. Check it out:


Last sunday night



Season Two DVD




Look how goofy and amateurish Kount Krustofski looks. That's only amateurish in the context of TV show. Not necessarily bad, but certainly not as polished as what you would see on TV nowadays. The exception, is the two stories by Len Wein and Bernie Wrightson, and Marv Wolfman and Gene Colan, who definitely add a very stylized look to both of their stories.

All in all, I'm not a big fan of Halloween themed comics, I guess. Or Simpson's comics. It was an ok read, but nothing great beyond a small chuckle or two. I think I'll pass next time.




Gotham Central # 36


This is one of the few comics that I still pull. Its a fairly new discovery for me and I love the shit out of it. I have this things about super hero comics that focus on non-super hero aspects of the super hero world. Or super hero comics that take themselves seriously. And not serious in the sense that grittier = serious. Serious as in they deal with real life problems. Super hero dramas, I guess.

Living in the 20th century utopia created by omnipotent super heroes and the problems that this "perfect world" creates, in MiracleMan Golden Age: Good stuff. Daredevil's identity being revealed in a tabloid newspaper(OMG, Spoilers!): Good stuff. The Sandman story with the female Metamorpho in which her powers are more of a curse than something that would be used to fight evildoers: More good stuff, and that was only one issue. (A hell of lot better than that Midsummer's Night Dream thespian drama club wack off shit. Sorry, but I did not see why it won that Fantasy Award.)

You get the point.

Gotham Central is about cops and what their life is like living under the shadow of the Bat in Gotham City. And its more good stuff. This issue, we have the big wrap up of the current story arc: Who's been killing kids dressed up like Robin? Is it Batman?! Well, the cover has Batman in a classic pose with the words "Wanted For Murder" below it. Holy hell, I think its Batman! Figures, because he's a prick! Probably kidnapped a bunch of random kids, dressed them up, then pushed them off really tall buildings and stuff, just to show that uppity sidekick what could happen to him if he doesn't cut that obnoxious 'tude. See!? What a dick!!!

Actually, its a really bad cover. Let's look at it again:





Yeah, that's lame. Maybe a picture of Batman in some dead end alley with headlights on him, hiding behind his cape, ready to shot a Bat-Grappling Gun up to unknown gothic statue off panel while police look on. Or even better: have some people eating at a cafe, with one person pointing to the sky with their fork where you can see Batman swinging between buildings, saying "Isn't that the Batman?" while the other person replies with "Yes. Isn't he WANTED FOR MURDER?!?!" with that last part in some super actiony intense looking speech balloon. That would have been good. This cover just looks like sub par Batman. Sorry Ryan, but after thinking about it, I disagree with your observation that this cover is awesome.

Which brings me to the next item up on the list of Things That DC Should Have Done To Make Their Only Good Book Even Better: Don't show Batman working the Bat-Interrogation on the Bad Guy. Should have just kept it on the police who were observing, with all the commotion coming from off panel being heard. Maybe make one of the cops a bit freaked out to show that they're not comfortable with the idea of the Goddamn Batman doing his thing. And have another cop totally picking their nose, as if, meh, its just the Goddamn Batman....whatevs. But no.

And last but not least, the big reveal of the actual killer? Lame. I like the motivation behind him, but not the execution. Its been done before and we all know where you ripped it off from. Way to go, Ru and Bru.

All in all, I would have to say that this was probably the only story arc of GCPD that ended not so good. Not horrendously bad, but nothing like all the other stuff that's come before. Can this be the beginning of the end?

Well, next month we have a Day! Of! Judgement! Tie! In! which should be interesting as it deals with Spectre fighting Shazam while all the GCPD are running around like little sissy la las. I think. I'm not really sure.




Marvel Monsters: Devil Dinosaur # 1


Only one word can describe this comic:





Go buy it. 'Nuff Said.

PS : Don't get too mad when you realize the Hulk reprint story that they allude to on the cover is not the Hulk story you think is.