New Warriors # 2

Issue 2 is out and my hope for this series being decent is dwindling. And why is that?

OMG!!! SPOILERZ!!!

So far, two former mutants have already joined up with the New Warriors with a third one being courted. The lovable loser, Beak, from Grant Morrison's New X-men run and Jubilee. If you look hard enough, you could make argument for a possible 4th as the one shot of the full team shows a man with spiky hair and a scarf around his neck. The recently de-powered Chamber, perhaps? Its interesting to think that the mutants, or ex-mutants, would be so concerned with the Registration Act that haunts the Marvel U. I am inclined to guess that maybe the Registration Act mirrors the Mutant Registration Act all too well and if it is not stopped, the always looming menace of a Sentinel policed future is right around the corner. However, I find it hard for a bunch of Ex-mutants to be concerned about a future scenario that they have been blacklisted from. Grevioux can definitely pursue that angle, but I don't know if I'll be buying it. Another reason for the M-Day victims to take up the cause could be the simple reason of getting their powers back. The celebrity mutant life is a sexy one. Now that these characters are so last minute, they are latching on to the next best thing, which appears to be technology-powered super heroics. Feels like Vh1's Celebreality, really..

Idiotic metaphors aside, this book is still standing on the fence for me as a super hero comic. Having an unreasonable soft spot in my heart for Nicieza's and Bagley's work on the first volume, its safe to say that I'm probably going to be a little unfair. Its still light on the action, much like the first issue. Mystery abounds in regards to what these New Warriors are all about but none of it is particularly thrilling. And the detective work put into solving the mystery of the New Warriors by Wolverine comes in the form of deduction via putting his thumb up against a televised broadcast of one of the female Warriors in action. At this point, there's just a whole bunch of grand standing against the Registration with a little bit of "not being a mutant is hard" going on. A more hardline, in-your-face approach would do this book tremendous justice. By issue 2 of the first volume of New Warriors, they had already defeated Terrax and went up against a gang of thugs equipped with fancy AIM weaponry. This time around? The return of Jubilee.

Some where out there, a message board thread is rustling with cries of celebration. Thanks, Joe Q.

New Warriors # 1

I finally got around to reading New Warriors # 1 which is a book that I did not want to miss. And why is that? Because I'm a huge fan of the original 25 issues of New Warriors. I became a fan in the 5th grade when a friend let me read his copy of issue # 1. This series was the first 4 color super hero team book I really sank my teeth into. Other books I was reading at the time were heavily tied to my love for 80's action movies and cartoons, such as Punisher and G.I. Joe, or featured a solo character such as Amazing Spider-man. The first team book I got into was Uncanny X-men (which I jumped on around issue # 270) however the tone of Uncanny X-men at the time was more serious and sometimes darker then the standard super hero fare. Magneto was issues away from killing Zaladane in the Savage Land; Wolverine, Jubilee & Psylocke had just fought off the Mandarin, mind control and a cadre of Hand ninjas in Madripoor; Dazzler was stalked by an obsessive fan; the mutant hating nation of Genosha had just kidnapped Xavier's students, which resulted in one of their deaths. This era of X-men stories were extremely well crafted, so much that they are partially responsible for the "sophisicated, written for the big screen" type comics that dominant the current comic book landscape, however they lacked the one thing that New Warriors excelled at and helped to turn me on to: good old fashion super hero fun.

Issue # 1 of this current New Warriors series by Kevin Grevioux and Paco Medina doesn't have that same sense of super heroics that Fabian Nicieza and Mark Bagley's original series did. Where the original New Warriors comics were at most times easy going and fun, this version of the New Warriors seems to forgo the light hearted nature of its predecessor and takes up a completely new agenda of its own which seems to only be saying "F You" to Tony Stark and the Registration. The only real light moment that comes up in this issue is the flirtation between Sofia and a young male customer who frequents the dinner she works at. Unfortunately, it suffers from the same poor dialogue that affects most teen characters in a medium that is mostly curated by middle aged men, a flaw that Nicieza himself, in my opinion, never really suffered from. Other than that, the rest of the book deals with the agenda at hand.

We start up with a glimpse of the New Warriors in action, chasing and catching a villian, only to leave him tied up with a message for both the super-villian community and the authorities in charge: Consider yourself warned. A sub plot is dangled in front of us, involving some NY police detectives that will be no doubt on the case of these New Warriors. We get a look inside the head of our lead character, Sofia, a former New Mutant by the name of Wind Dancer that lost her powers in the Decimation that came from House Of M. The recruitment process for Sofia starts off with a series of mysterious messages from an unknown party that ends with her being led into the Base Of Operations of the New Warriors. Night Thrasher, a former New Warriors, is re-introduced in a cliff hanger ending, leading us to question whether not he is somehow back from the explosion that killed him in Civil War # 1 or his suit is being worn by someone else. Its an interesting introduction to a new series, but its obviously far from over. We're still missing some members from the roster and its safe to say that we're 5 issues away from the obligatory "Woah, Buddy!" moment that solidifies every new super hero team's line up and mission purpose.

This isn't a comic book for new readers. Its a comic book for the fans of the New Warriors and Captain America's anti-Registration side, a demographic that is by its very nature is specific and narrow. Any complaints of the issue being "new reader unfriendly" really miss the point. This is for those Marvel fans that are intimately familiar with what has happened in the past two years of Marvel's publishing schedule, giving them a chance to see some kind of possible redemption for story lines that they are unhappy with. A mutant who was depowered due to Scarlet Witch's "No More Mutants" is given both the character, and all 5 of her fans, a second chance. The New Warriors are brought back to life, turning them from mere cannon fodder into the ones that are now manning the cannons. And they're pointing them directly at Stark Tower. The banner that was dropped by the anti-Registration's side at the end of Civil War is being picked right back up and turned into guerilla-styled tactics and subversive slogans painted on city walls to give voice to protest. The war is over but the revolution lives on...

Its not the worse book out there. It is nice to think of this being the book that echoes our own sentiments towards the outcome of Civil War. At some point, one of the lead characters will undoubtfully being wearing a 'Cap Was Right' t-shirt. Soon enough, we will see our New Warriors going toe to toe with Iron Man & Co. giving a select few of us that strange moment of escapist fantasy where our favorite D-Lister gets to smack Mr. Stark a good one for being such a prick. The only difference from New Warriors and the other comics that feature characters with dissenting voices against the Pro-Registration side such as Nova or the New Avengers is that the whole crux of this foray in escapism is very much dependent on the current state of things. What happens when that status quo changes? When the Post Civil War Marvel U. reverts back into the Plain Ol' Marvel U, a character like Nova can just fly back into space and pick up where the past decade of Marvel publishing has left off. And the New Avengers have Spider-man and Wolverine. What will be left for the New Warriors to do once there is no more Fascist Tony Stark to get them all riled up? Is there a Fugazi in the future for the Marvel U's Minor Threat?

Probably not. When this series gets cancelled, we'll be left with the same small group of dedicated New Warriors fans, begging blogging for a return to a time when Kickflip 5-0s to Haymakers ruled, Speedball was a fun, lovable loser, and Namorita was a shining example of a female super hero done right. Until then, we can be content with a group of nobodies telling Tony Stark to go $#&@ himself.

Heroes Con & WW Philly: Mondo Marvel & More

The Summer Con season is in full swing, with both Heroes Con and Wizard World Philly going on this weekend at the same time. Since I am one of Marvel's six blogs, I have decided that its time to start acting like one by posting my idiotic commentary alongside the new announcements. To make things easy, I'll divide it up into different posts based upon editorial camps and what not, starting with basic Marvel stuff.

Are you ready for some hard hitting in your face bloggery?! If the answer is "No!", please click here. If the answer is "Hell yes, brother! Bring the pain!" then continue on....

All in all, things don't look so bad. And believe you me, there is no one more upset about that than myself. Why? Because I'm never really happy with comics unless they're pissing me off!

• Captain America being written by the guy who created Rambo is only flawed by the fact that the comic itself doesn't actually STAR John Rambo, but we can just pretend that's whose under the mask, right?


• Even though I only read the Nova mini and issue 1 of Annihilation, I am curious to see what the spin-offs will read like. That Star Lord cover is mega-spiffy in its Jin-Rohesque beauty.


• And this I'm excited about. We get an Iron Fist annual which is proper because that title itself is the best super heroish book on the shelves. According to the cover which you can see to your right, it looks like its going to continue the grand tradition of being amazing.


• I really like the cover for New Avengers # 34 because it hints at some crazy alternate universe story, which I always enjoy. Hell, as bad as House Of M was, I kind of dug it. The premise rocked despite all the glaring problems with the story.


• We get a Penance mini-series which I'm sure we could all do without. Unless he's getting his balls back, I could care less for Penance. Nova I like. Don't worry, buddy. I'm going to pick up those two issues I missed when I make it the comic shop this weekend. Don't think I've forgotten about you. Is that Gamora holding his head? And is it okay if I'm slightly aroused by scantily clad space babes? Wait, no, that's not right. Its sexy zombie teenage girls that's got us frat boys all riled up. Thank you, Internet. Don't know what kind of sick fetish I would be chasing this week without you.

And then there's the new Marvel Comics Presents. You know that snazzy car that looks hella hot and drives gnarly fast that the protagonist drives in the 2nd The Fast & Furious movie? This is the comic book version of it. Its a mother fraggin' sports car of a comic book that's gonna race off of the racks, right at your ass, so you best get out of the way or else you gonna get run over! And quite frankly, I don't think that some of you could handle that.

Yeah, I'm not too sure what that's supposed to mean other than this comic looks HOT!

• But dayuuuuuuuuuuuum....that Hellcat looks absolutely splendid. I can't think of anyone else that could do a better job with the character. Writing a comic book with your significant other sounds like it could be dangerous. Does Mrs. Immonen get all "we gonna have the big finish gone down like this or else you'll drawing your little boy comics in the dog house, Mister!"...? Because she totally could. Us men are like silly putty in your hands, women. That's why we oppress you with our comics so much.


• I like Khoi Pham's depiction of the Captain America-copied kick that Taskmaster is delivering to that S.H.I.E.L.D. flunky. It kind of makes me wish that I was at home alone on a lazy saturday afternoon, air-fighting imaginary ninja foes.


• Seeing names like Josh Fialkov, Barry Kitson, B. Clay Moore and Lee Weeks attached to this makes me happy. And Christos Gage, too. He's growing on me, that one.


• Even the Weird multi-verse Spidey doesn't seem like such a bad idea. Especially since it'll probably only be 5 to 10 pages at time for an issue or three. I'm on board. If I ever get a pull started, this book is definitely going to be on it.

If they could Sam Kieth and Rob Liefeld drawing dudes like Longshot and Deathlok, it would buy 5 copies, but I get them CGC graded and shot up into space to insure nothing would ever happen to them that would cause them to lose value! Ok, that wasn't right. Sam Kieth is actually awesome even if he draw some funky Wolverine action back in the old MCP.

Even though this is more X-men related, they talked about it today so I'll just lump it in. The Angel: Revelations mini-series.

Er, uh....what? I, um.....I'm not going to read this when it comes out therefore this will probably be the first and last time I ever blog about an Angel mini-series at all. As a matter of fact, I could quite possibly be commenting on YOUR blog about how unsmart you are for wasting everyone else's time with your review of issue # 3 when it comes out. While we're on the subject of useless mini-series, let's pitch some that could be of equal importance and probably not worthy of anyone's reading time:

Paste Pot Pete: Unglued!
Captain Ultra Happy Fun Time Romancing Love
Erik & Charles: The College Years
What about Frogman?
Rom The Spaceknight: You got your wish. Can you stop bugging us now?

And that's all we have to say about Angel: Revelations and all of the other exciting announcements and preview art we've seen so far. Next, we'll talk about Spider-man. By next I mean probably on Monday or Tuesday!

Feliz Cumpleanos, vatos!

It's my birthday!

Or it was. On friday. May The Fourth be with you, brother! Guess what I did for my birthday?

A.) Got wicked drunk at some uber-swank bar and vomited on some hipster chick I was trying to mack on

B.) Got wicked drunk and went to a strip club where I feel in love with a girl named "Cocoa" that wouldn't give me the time of the day unless I had money

C.) Got wicked drunk at Fridays and punched out some douchebag for trying to harsh my mellow with his ugly face on my birthday

D.) Got wicked drunk in Vegas and had to be dragged out of a casino for aggressively proposing to some cocktail waitress in tights

If you guessed ANY of the above, you are wrong! The real answer is:

E.) Stayed wicked sober in Utah, hanging out with the Mormon family for my sister's graduation

Believe-THAT! Me, Spencer Carnage, the mess of blogger that I am, rocking the spot in Mormon country, straight edge styley! And not the cool, windmill kicking, XXX inked kind of straight edge styley! But the boring ass, sit around and watch some TV, read and check email kind of straight edge styley! Jealous? Thought so!

Yes, my sister graduated with a Masters in Mental Health Counseling so my father, step-mother and I made the 13 hour trip up on thursday so we could be there for the occassion. Since most of my family is religious, with my sister herself a recovering alcoholic, there was nary a drop of booze to be had. The fact that my birthday falls a day before Cinco De Mayo only compounded my own alcoholic problems. The problem being....there was no alcohol! Stopping in Vegas on the way back sunday for a buffet lunch definitely did not help. It was almost as if Joseph Smith himself was mocking him.

The weekend, despite the boredom, was nice. I played Uno like a motherfucker. My sister's cat and dog both love me. My bratty 11 year old neice has a bruise on her arm for being such a bratty 11 year old neice. The family and I got to discuss the going ons in our lives, using the art of cinema as common ground. I read Stephen King's Dark Tower: The Gunslinger and half of Jonathan Lethem's Fortress Of Solitude. I went to a pretty decent music store and picked me up some Feist, Explosions In The Sky, and Tv On The Radio. I even got my dad to rock out to TV On The Radio's Wolf Like Me on the way back. I actually found myself liking this one country song about jumping on the grenade so your friend can get himself some. I visited what was is apparently the biggest hunting store in America so I could purchase a proper jacket for the cold ass weather. I feel in love with lots of hot Mormon girls. I even saw Spider-man 3 and laughed at Jazz Dancing Emo Spidey.

Sober the whole time.

It should be a crime, I say. You know what's a crime in Utah? Holding two drinks in your hand at the same time. Found that one out a few years ago when I lasted visited. Its illegal to double fist in Utah. And they don't have bars, they have clubs where you pay for a nightly membership which includes the first two drinks with the price. And they still smoke in clubs out there! What is up with your wack laws, Utah?! Have you anything to say for yourself??!

The State of Utah pleads the Fifth on that one.

You wanna see what my friends got for me before I left? Check it out:




That's from New Warriors # 2! The one where they take on Midnight's Fire and the villiany of A.I.M. weaponry. Wanna to read more about it? Do it! I was thoroughly stoked when Tony and Ryan presented this to me. They are what you call, Homies For Life. Much better than what you guys and girl got me! And don't even give me that "we didn't know it was your birthday" crap. You should have just known! What other things about me does your ignorance reign supreme? WHAT COLOR ARE MY EYES!?

You all should be ashamed of yourselves on this glorious, Utah-free morning...

The results are in!

It is official. I have become Internet Famous.

No, not because I harped some dude's comic strip for my own. And not because I have such great taste in comics and can blog with the best them. Though those are all great things, they are not what it takes to become Internet Famous. The road to becoming internet famous is a tricky one. It involves lots of comment spamming, bloggable ass kissing, and linking, linking and more linking. Oh, let us not forget, a strong passion for the baddest dude to ever bring a skateboard to super hero fight. Ever.


Wikipedia has cited my Night Thrasher = Badical as a reference for the entry on the character. Yes, you read correct.

Wika.

Pedia.

Loves.

Spencer Carnage.

I think I'm going to head on over to the Girl-Wonder.org and use my newfound celebrity to see if any nerdy chicks wanna cyber with me. Ciao.

Blue Blazes!

Let's spoil some things for a moment, shall we? Marvel's Civil War: The Return:

I was hoping that this cover meant the return of Nova to the Marvel U. Considering that the 42 prison was in the Negative Zone, I had a feeling the end of Annihilation would put Richard Ryder square at the door step of Tony and Reed's new prison, causing all kinds of glee and warm, happy feelings.

Well, its not Nova. Yes, I know the star on Nova's helmet is different. I'm aware of this. I was just hoping that Marvel got it wrong. He'll be back soon enough, though. As for who it is, just take a look and figure it out. Who else with a star for a logo would totally blow your fanboy minds if they returned? You guessed right. I know, I know, but what about XYZ that caused Mystery Super Hero to disappear? Mystery Super Hero is back with the XYZ in full effect which I believe is the most interesting aspect of Mystery Super Hero's return.

---

While trolling for Nova pics, I came across this post on the Bendis Board by Sean McKeever regarding a New Warriors pitch:

I pitched New Warriors two years ago but there was no interest. They wanted a high concept pitch with them as the equivalent of "child actors all grown up," and I wanted a serious ensemble drama that happened to also be an action-heavy superhero comic.(link via New Warriors Continuity Conundrum)

I do know that Marvel is still looking for this concept with a friend of a friend of a friend currently pitching it for the Power Pack. Essentially, its the Royal Tenenbaums meets the Marvel U. This same friend of a friend of a friend is also being prepped to possibly take over for Dan Slott on She-Hulk. He just needs a successful introductory project put out first before the transition is made and that Power Pack project could possibly be it. That or a mini featuring the Vulture.

While we're getting our spoiler on...

Cap knows Tigra's a spy. He's using her to feed false information to Tony!

Does that not just wet your whistle or what?

The streets of Marvel New York be dangerous. Its bad enough that there's your usual sort of criminals that are there to mug, rape, rob, steal, kill, and abuse you. Add totally heinous super villians with names like "The Beetle" and "Stilt-Man" to the picture and walking to the bodega down the street seems like suicide. Let's give thanks and praise to the cocktail of Gamma Omega Alpha Mutagenic whatever-you-want-to-call-it and tragic loss that is the gateway drug to the addiction of vengeance and justice. Had not Peter Parker been both bitten and indirectly responsible for the death of his Uncle Ben, half the populace of New York would be dead right now. If Matt Murdock was not accidentally blinded with some glowing goop that enhanced ALL! HIS! OTHER! SENSES!, would he be able to keep the streets of Hell's Kitchen safe by punishing all criminals everywhere to make up for the death of his father? If the X-men had not been both blessed and cursed with the X-factor that gives them their mutant powers, could they still appeal to the whiny little cry baby liberal in all of us by championing the rights of the oppressed as well as they do now? It is these events that play out like a Shakespearean tragedy that allow for us to say "Hey. If I was present when that lab experiment went wrong, giving me super human strength and the ability to grow quills, it would be no problem for me to combine those newfound powers along with my sarcastic wit to rock-a-shock a criminals face in." All you need is the proper motivation and you are officially Punch-You-With-A-Fist-Full-Of-Quills-Man.

Someone rub some toxic waste on my balls!

Unfortunately, toxic waste is expensive and hard to find, radioactive spiders work under the mysterious influence of spider-totems(...whatever...), and empowerment by gamma bomb explosion has already been taken. Unless you're a mutant(which back in the 90's--!, because this is a New Warriors post, everyone was) you're S.O.L. There's only so many ways a guy can get the power of flight and with power hogs like Ms. Marvel/Warbird/Binary/Cry me a river about Rogue stealing your powers Carol Danvers and Hank Pym, you'll be lucky if you get your hands on some Linguistics.

Enter The Urban Vigilante.

Batman started the whole fad. The Punisher kicked it up a notch. Night Thrasher did it while riding a skateboard. With his parents gunned down violently, it was only a manner of time before Dwayne Taylor felt the urge to take matters into his own hand. Without the aid of super powers, Dwayne got his edge from elsewhere. Dwayne got it from Street Knowledge.

Taking a cue from the O.G. black super hero, Night Thrasher came correct. Sporting greyish-purple pants, brown boots, a black long sleeve turtle neck(with the sleeves rolled up), mother-fuggin' yellow suspenders, and a gat damn cross earing, Dwayne Taylor was pimpin'. Say what you want about the get up, but if you remember back to 1990, you were just months away from wearing your jordache jeans backwards and still trying to convince your friends that Bell Biv Devoe was da bomb. Not Dwayne Taylor! He was cutting edge and kicking ass, two things that the New Warriors excelled at. Before the magnesium flares, ninja caltrops, wrist blade, and heelflips, Night Thrasher was sneaking around on rooftops and catwalks, busting the faces of thugs everywhere. Korean gangs called him "Chan Park Kwoon So Kichi Dak" which was fake-Korean for "crap, I'm gonna get my chest kicked in" guy.

Like any War On Crime, you're gonna need soldiers. Batman has Alfred and Robin. The Punisher turned to Microchip. Night Thrasher had the brother and sister combo of Midnight's Fire and Silhouette. Cue various different snorts and giggles from the Peanuts gallery. Say what you will, but these two kids will mess you up. Midnight's Fire is all super strong and fast and Silhouette, well......all that tragedy is like an aphrodisiac and Sil and Thrash be getting it on like dogs in heat. However, the happiness is short lived.

A bust is underway. The fuzz show up. Midnight's Fire makes a hard decision about killing a cop. Dwayne stops him. Silhouette gets shot all the 'eff up in the ensuing melee.


Silhouette gets wacked while some punk calls her "baby." That's cold. Blaming Night Thrasher for his sister's death, Midnight's Fire lets the fury fly.


You see that? That shit's for life. Pay attention because there's going to be a quiz on this later.

Present day, someone's been killing folks in Korea Town again. Well, who could it be? One flashback later, Dwayne is on the case.


Not even Batman could solve a crime that fast. Now that you have your very own super hero team, let's take it to the streets and show them how its done. But first, let's have an interlude!


Hey, that's the company that was accidentally responsible for that whole Terrax debacle last issue. What are they up to? And who is this guy that's a real mad thinker? Vague....

And we're back. Trying to find some perps to beat up, the New Warriors give us a lesson in how to draw out some thugs.

Light the place up--!



Wait for the bad guys to show up--!

Stand in awe at the Bad Guy's fashion sense--!



Freak out when his friends come with A.I.M weaponry--!



Remember how I said that the streets of Marvel New York are dangerous? You can't spell "dangerous" without the word "dang" and that's what the New Warriors are thinking right now when they see these stolen A.I.M. guns. Speaking of A.I.M., they should change their name. Advanced Idea Mechanics just doesn't sound sinister enough. Advanced Idea Mechanics conjures up the idea that they are all about curing cancer and terraforming Mars to make it hospitable for the elderly. No, they should be called W.A.R. Weapons Are Radical, because that's all they do. They make weapons. And this case is no exception. However, when you're going up against the likes of KID NOVA! FIRESTAR! MARVEL BOY! SPEEDBALL! and NAMORITA! you're pretty much screwed, dude.



What about Night Thrasher? What's he up to? He's getting the crap kicked out of him, that's what he's up to! Have no fear, true believers! Just when its about to get real ugly, Night Thrasher summons up some of that Shakespearean tragedy that we talked about earlier to get the upper hand. See, Midnight's Fire's tragedy ain't nothing compared to Night Thrasher's tragedy. Sure, Midnight's Fire's sister was killed, blah blah blah, but Thrash lost his parents AND Midnight's Fire's sister who he was giving it to. You're sad for Night Thrasher right now. Its ok though, homeboy will come through.


With that inner turmoil comes the berzerker rage. Unleashing an armada of attack all over Midnight's Fire's face, your sadness is now turning into worry. Will Night Thrasher do it? Will he cross the line of no return? Will he think the unthinkable? Right when all hope is lost and Thrasher is about to do the deed, in comes Silhouette. Wait a second! Isn't she dead? No. Not dead. Crippled.


Snapping to his senses, Night Thrasher realizes the error in his ways. Dwayne's ashamed that he almost came this close to becoming the scum that he has vowed his life to fight. No matter how bad the crime is, you can't just go around killing everyone. There's a due process. We have laws. And even when though those laws allow for the dregs of society to slip through the cracks, we have super heroes like the New Warriors here to pick up the slack. You can't just KILL people because they wronged you. Take his ass to jail!

Still......there is that matter of Street Justice that must be attended to.

The important thing to remember about Street Justice is that it goes back to the days of Mesopotamia. You know, an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, all that good stuff? Now that Night Thrasher has Midnight's Fire right where he wants him, what is going to do next? See, I told you there was going to be a test..



Oh, snap! Game over, man. Your thuggish ruggish days are done. Not only do the folks in Korea Town that were paying you to protect them think that you're a punk ass biz-natch, but you look all stupid, too. Maybe you can call up Madame Hydra and you two can talk about what's the best cover up to use for a messed up scar like that. If only this was the 80's, you could probably get a job as an extra in an action movie like Commando or Rambo where you play "paramilitary drug lord goon # 3". Nope. Its the 90's and the last good action movie that came out was in 1988 called Above The Law. With some luck, maybe Mario Van Pebbles' will have a straight-to-video movie that you can cameo in.......nerd.

When all is said and done, the New Warriors are a bit concerned. Leader guy just went psycho. Nova is still all pissed about being tossed off a building. He had an ongoing series way before Night Thrasher was a gleam in Fabian Nicenza's eyes. Its time for some words!


Doooooood. The guy who is in charge is also the loose cannon on the team? Fraaaaaaag. And that's why they're the Heroes For The 90's--!

Respect!

I'm just going to come out and say it. The 1st 25 issues of the New Warriors is two clicks short of amazing. Fabian Nicienza & Mark Bagley making straight up good super hero fun that quite frankly never gets the respect that it deserves. And that's why we're here. I'm going to school your asses in New Warriors 101 and show you why they're the "HEROES FOR THE 90'S--!"

Today's lesson?

How To Start A Super Hero Team In One Issue.

I'm hoping that you're taking notes, Mr. Bendis. Let's begin.



Take one pissed off guy in a snazzy suit--!



Next, you find some washed up never-was super heroes and...

Threaten their personal lives--!



Throw them off a building to activate their latent powers--!



And go through the Avengers' trash--!




Then you take a spin on the Pick-Us-A-Villian-To-Fight wheel--!



Count on a completely random characters to show up such as...

An Atlantean Princess--!



And the last Marvel character that Ditko ever created--!



Fight, fight, fight--!--!--!





WIN--!




Let the parents clean up the mess--!



Seal the deal with a "Woah, Bundy"--!




Instant Super Hero Team For The 90's--!




Next, we'll have a lesson in street knowledge involving stolen A.I.M. weaponry. Break for recess.

Black History Month, New Warriors Style

That'll teach you honky mutants to mess with Sphinx on Earth Forever Yesterday!
Don't ask me what Nova's doing there as the answer doesn't make much sense, but let's just thank Fabian Nicenza for having the insight to put him on the Avengers instead of using Echo or Wolverine.

Completely unrelated to Black History Month but totally related to Earth Forever Yesterday who has read Avengers Forever? I saw this picture at the aforementioned link and now I'm interested in checking it out. Care to help me out? I'm sure Kelvin knows.

New Warriors Por Vida!

With the news regarding the "Heroes For The 90s-!" as shown to us in the preview pages for Civil War at Buzzscope along with the NY Times article, its safe to say that things are not looking good for the New Warriors. Granted, there wasn't anything going on for them, outside of their recent mini-series, there was always hope that this motley cast of super heroes would have their day in the sun again. Now that they're dead, well.....maybe its time we take a look back at the original 25 issues that made them....err..."Heroes For The 90s-!"

Yep. Consider yourself warned.

Thank you, Great Curve

Recently, I've made a resolution to myself regarding my buying habits of comics. In an attempt to save up some money to buy me a guitar amp, I have decided on going to comic shop only once a month. True, its pure insanity on my behalf which has cause some discomfort for both my comic shop and my comic book buying comrade in arms Ryan, but I just had to do it. First I tried to slim down the monthlies in hopes of saving some cash, but I noticed my trade-or-two week spending habit was still killing my wallet. Add this to the fact that comics in general were pretty much not doing a damn thing to get me excited, with the exception of anything with Alan Moore's name on it, it became a decision that I was very glad I made. As interested waned in comics, so did my interest in what was coming out, being talked about, hyped, and hated on. Thankfully, I managed to keep at least one toe in the shallow end, or else I'd probably miss this:

Rebellion

Alan Moore: The Complete Future Shock TP

Hisham: A collection of Alan Moore’s early stories for 2000AD. Since his current comic book output has slowed down, I need to get my Moore fix wherever I can find it.

Muchos Gracias to people like the TheGreatCurve.net for having the need to express their opinions on what's coming out on the weekly basis for me to pick up on the things that I would have probably missed. Along with the new Astonishing, I just might have a reason to go to Earth-2 Comics a week early.

There's also talk on TheGreatCurve.net of a preview of Civil War that involves the New Warriors fighting Nitro over at PopCultureShock.com, which I believe is now BuzzScope.com, correct? Either way, I can't access those sites from the cubicle I'm currently behind, so I can't take a gander. Let's hope that this Civil War mess leads to a newly launched Nicenza/Bagley New Warriors comic book sometime in the next 12-18 months so we can finally forgive Marvel for that whole House Of M messy mess. That should be enough time for Bagley to break the Kirby/Lee record on FF and move on to a book that allows him to show his super hero drawing abilities once again, yes?

Related Link: Night Thrasher = Badical

Night Thrasher = Badical

Oh man, its one o'clock, I'm at work, and shit is so boring that I want to kill myself. Maybe I can alleviate some of this boredom by checking out Dave's Long Box and see what kind of comic book dorkiness we can laugh at toda-, WHAZZAHUH?!?!?!?! Skateboarding super heroes suck!??! Night Thrasher the suxxor?!?!??!?!

I say thee nay.

To discredit a key member of the New Warriors AKA "Heroes for the 90's--!" all because he skates?! What we have here is a classic case of comic book ignorance. Well, well, well. I think its time Mr. David Campbell has a little lesson of his own to learn about the Airwolfness of the Night Thrasher.

First and foremost, let's take a look at Night Thrasher as presented by Dave's Long Box:





What we have here is your standard "strike a real mean pose" picture that is necessary for an entry into an Official Marvel Handbook. Not the most flattering picture, that we can all agree on. Law breakers and low life thugs wouldn't bat an eye at this Tae Bo move. Its 2005 and Tae Bo is shit your mother and girlfriend do to get into shape. But back in 1990? You bust some Tae Bo out on the local pimp and he be all convinced you were trained by the ghost of Bruce Lee himself! And the scarf? Well damn, make all the fun you want and but when you're laughing and there's a BLACK! METAL! FIST! PILFERING! OUT! JUSTICE! IN! YOUR! FACE!...you'll think twice about dissing on dudes with a little bit of balls when it comes to fashion.

...

Ok, so the scarf is lame. Let's move on to...

SKATEBOARDING SUPERHEROING IN ACTION !!!





Aren't you glad he had a skateboard, middle aged civilian lady in danger? I bet he probably pulled a Five-Oh with a late 360 kickflip off panel before he landed!





"Hey, who's that guy that looks all fucked up from Night Thrashers blinding smoke capsule?" Its Terrax! "What?! Terrax?!?! You mean that guy who tangles with the likes of Silver Surfer and Firelord?!?" Yes, the very same one. He even pulled an indy grab on this one! Hella sick! Not only does he have skills, but he ain't afraid of shit. This guy could have been pro had his parents not been violently killed, forcing him to engage a life of vigilance.

Ok, so blinding Terrax isn't really gonna shit. He gets points for trying though.

"But what about combat? What use does this skateboard have besides getting you to and fro?" Good question.





Snikt! It turns into a god damn blade!





That's Mad Thinker's head flying off, probably thinking "Shit! How come nobody told me this punk kid had a skateboard with a blade on it??"





Pwned!!! Or should I say...PUNWNED!!!

(Ok, that was cheesy. Sorry.)

And what else does this little Night Thrasher have up his sleeve besides a skateboard of action, you're wondering? You just read Frank Castle's mind.



Click the picture to enlarge and what do we see? Garrote wire! Cayenne Pepper Spray! Plastique Explosives(3)! Magnesium Flares! 8 inch titanium blade! Sour jacks! Infra-red sighting! Computer Terminal! Belt Pack Assembly with secret compartment that defies Punisher's computers ability to figure out!





That's a fucking Uzi in that secret compartment, stupid Punisher computer!

Did I mention that he started the New Warriors pretty much by bullying everybody into joining? Because he did.

So Mr. David Campbell, I urge you to think twice next you try to snark on the New Warriors(Bagley era only. The rest of the shit is up for grabs.) unless you want to face the wrath. Because in all honesty, that Night Thrasher suit probably cost a total of $800 bucks at Sears and I've been saving up.

(Actually, I'm just kidding. Dave's site is hilarious and his skateboard/superhero post is no exception. I'm just having a laugh while posting fondly about my favorite comic book when I was 12. Keep up the good work, Dave.)