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Thursday, December 21, 2006

Get Your Blog On

Yesterday, I bought some new comics. Today, I blog about them. Its like fate sometimes how these things work themselves out.

  • Civil War: Casualities Of War
    "Remember that time when we were friends and now we're not? Yeah, me, too. Let's fight!"

    And that's how it goes. If Marvel was smart, they should have just filled this issue with reprints from some of those old issues that were referenced in this comic and made it into a trade. At $19.95 a pop, Captain America & Iron Man: That Time There Was Only One Set Of Footprints In The Sand Was Because That Was When I Was Carrying You would have flown off the shelves and into our hearts. If that trade played Andrew Gold's "Thank You For Being A Friend" while you read it, I am fairly certain that it would make Time Best Of 2006 Top Ten List. "and if you had a party...."

  • Iron Man # 14
    "Being a super-villian sure is tough."

    I know, Tony. Why do you think guys like Dr. Doom, Leader, the Red Skull, Loki and the Absorbing Man are always so damn pissed off at you heroes when they come back from obscurity to take you on for what they wish was ONE LAST AND FINAL TIME? They want a return on their investment towards Evil! With repayment in full! + Interest! You hire a bunch of goons and build a bunch of robots, only to have your crime ring slash attempts at world domination foiled by some guy with a suit and goofy name that starts with noun and ends with the word "man" you too will find that life is tough and stressful. Its almost as if every superhero under the sun is out to get you! Buck up, old chum. The finish line is in sight and if what I am hearing is correct, your ass skips the trip to Disneyland and heads straight into the loving arms of a S.H.I.E.L.D. Heli-Carrier that is guaranteed to blow up within the first 6 issue arc. If that is not a victory, what is?

  • New Avengers # 26
    "If you just wanted to sleep with me, you could have just asked. Using Chaos Magick created Kree Soldiers really sends the wrong kind of message, don't you agree?"

    Oh yes, I get it now! This is why its called NEW Avengers. Because its not like the OLD Avengers. If this was OLD Avengers the Mantis would show up to help the team fight Egghead & The Masters Of Evil while Jarvis serves tea. In NEW Avengers, we have things like trannie ninjas, superhero ramblings, and Hawkeye-And-Scarlet-Witch Make Up Sex. I'm sorry, did I spoil that for you? Oops.

    This issue is why a series like Marvel Comics Presents should be in circulation. No, not so we can have some story about the X-Factor era blue Beast accidentally running into a cyborg gang of ninja bots while he's on the way to the store. This isn't bad, but it doesn't belong in an Avengers book. Its belongs in Marvel Comics Presents, 8 pages at a time, on a bi-weekly schedule alongside a story of the Powerpack fighting a Mandroid at the Niagara Falls. Despite having the wrong title of the cover, Alex can still draw even if his line weight can be a little dead from time to time. I can guarantee that this issue will probably piss you off at some point or other.

  • New Avengers: Illuminati # 1
    "Ok, why do I always get stuck carrying the crippled guy every time his wheelchair gets knocked over? Seriously, what's up with that?"

    The Illuminati is arguably one of the best contributions that Bendis has made to Marvel Comics. Its a nice spin on well established characters that is not completely out of character like some OTHER big name writers... As Carla says, it is pretty much just the A-Team of the 616. As for who is BA and who is Face, you can discuss that over at her wonderful site in the comments. Over here? We inarticulate our thoughts with great ease and work REAL jobs that do not involve bagging and boarding comic books on the daily basis!

    Ahem. I don't know about you guys, but I liked it. Sure, you could argue all these great minds would probaby be a little more careful when it comes to storming the Skrull gates, but what's wrong with a little goof up from time to time? Especially when it ends with Charles Xavier getting knocked on his ass. Ok, maybe not that last part. I really enjoyed the part where the Skrulls are rocking the torture stick on the members of the Illuminati, as their observations seemed on par with good comic book science. There was only one page that showed a confusing fight scene, which is down from the usual 3 to 4 pagesof confusing fight scenes that Bendis tends to write. Maybe Brian Reed is responsible for that, I can not say for sure. And Cheung, even though your anatomy seems to be a little off when compared with the heads of the characters you draw, I like your style. Definitely looking forward to the next issue. If you guys could some how throw in a reference to the X-Cutioner's Song, I will cyber-high 5 the lot of yous.

Blue Blazes!

Let's spoil some things for a moment, shall we? Marvel's Civil War: The Return:

I was hoping that this cover meant the return of Nova to the Marvel U. Considering that the 42 prison was in the Negative Zone, I had a feeling the end of Annihilation would put Richard Ryder square at the door step of Tony and Reed's new prison, causing all kinds of glee and warm, happy feelings.

Well, its not Nova. Yes, I know the star on Nova's helmet is different. I'm aware of this. I was just hoping that Marvel got it wrong. He'll be back soon enough, though. As for who it is, just take a look and figure it out. Who else with a star for a logo would totally blow your fanboy minds if they returned? You guessed right. I know, I know, but what about XYZ that caused Mystery Super Hero to disappear? Mystery Super Hero is back with the XYZ in full effect which I believe is the most interesting aspect of Mystery Super Hero's return.

While trolling for Nova pics, I came across this post on the Bendis Board by Sean McKeever regarding a New Warriors pitch:
I pitched New Warriors two years ago but there was no interest. They wanted a high concept pitch with them as the equivalent of "child actors all grown up," and I wanted a serious ensemble drama that happened to also be an action-heavy superhero comic.(link via New Warriors Continuity Conundrum)

I do know that Marvel is still looking for this concept with a friend of a friend of a friend currently pitching it for the Power Pack. Essentially, its the Royal Tenenbaums meets the Marvel U. This same friend of a friend of a friend is also being prepped to possibly take over for Dan Slott on She-Hulk. He just needs a successful introductory project put out first before the transition is made and that Power Pack project could possibly be it. That or a mini featuring the Vulture.

While we're getting our spoiler on...

Cap knows Tigra's a spy. He's using her to feed false information to Tony!

Does that not just wet your whistle or what?

Wednesday, December 20, 2006

If Judd Winick had created Wonder Woman...

Instead of this:

She would look like this:

  • Instead of hailing from the Amazon Island of Themyscira, she would come from the Dressing Room of a Strip Club.

  • Instead of exuding power and love, she would exude perversion and lust.

  • Instead of wearing a star spangled freedom inspiring bikini and tiara, she would be wearing black lingerie and too much make up.

  • Instead of a lasso that forces those who become ensnared by it to tell the truth, she would wield a whip that paralyzes others by overloading the pleasure centers of their brain.

  • Instead of being revlaunched by Allan Heinberg and Jodi Picoult, she would be relaunched by Jim Balent.

  • Instead of fighting alongside the JLA, she would be trying to sleep with everyone in the DCU.

And yes, she would totally be into "da butt."

Friday, December 15, 2006

New Fantastic Four

Brian over at Again With The Comics posted an image for Fantastic Four # 544 which he found on Diamond's website. Unfortunately, Diamond wised up and removed it. Since Brian hotlinked, all he's got is a broken image. Thank the stars above for Spencer's detective skills combined with Wizard's inability to get with it. I bring ye spoilers..

For all of those who are paying attention....

Fantastic Four's new line up as depicted by Michael "Get that heroine a sandwich!" Turner!

Fantastic Four # 544

In the aftermath of Civil War comes Reconstruction, the beginning of a stunning new era! Rocked to its foundations by the events of the past several months, Reed and Sue plan a hiatus from the team to work out there marital problems, leaving Ben and Johnny to hold down the fort. But they won't be doing it alone, as two new members join the team - and you won't believe who they are! • 32 pg

(From Wizard's online store.)

This pretty much jives with what was said over at Mike Sterling's site right before issue # 1 of Civil War came out, except for the fact that Johnny is part of the team. While investigating, I tried to see if there was any other covers on Wizard's site that were left out of the solicitations, but I had no luck. Rich picked up the pre-Civil War # 1 spoiler last week, but What other kernels of knowledge is this Painted Doll dropping that we're missing. Once again, we turn to the comments over at Mike's site, which lead us....here. A post from "the_painted_doll" over at Rich Johnston's forum from September 26. Its interestingly vague, but it does a raise a question, when you consider that Rich, who probably knows more about Civil War than he lets on, has only recently reported something that was already picked up elsewhere.....exactly how much is Marvel paying you to keep you quiet, hmmm?

Ahh, its baby of his. Made him go all Eddie Murphy-soft on us.

EDIT: Apparently I'm not as savy as they say. Comic Book Resources reported the following:
Marvel Comics has just released the following image with a single question included, "Is this the new Fantastic Four?"
The image by Michael Turner features Johnny Storm (The Human Torch), Ben Grimm (The Thing), Storm and Black Panther and suggests that this is the new line-up for the team starting with March's "Fantastic Four" #544 following the conclusion of "Civil War," which tore apart the group. That issue is written by Dwayne McDuffie with art by Paul Pelletier.

Monday, December 11, 2006

I like stuff.

I'm a little slow today, so please forgive my lack of proper blogging enthusiasm. Last night, the band played at a sports bar a couple towns over for a very drunk crowd of 12 at a time when I'm usually yawning for sleep. Considering it was our first show in 3 months and at least 50% of the band was drunk, we did amazingly well and had an absolute blast. One thing to remember for next time is to NOT put my beverages in front of the bass drum because the long hair welding guitar player will kick them over. The night ended with an invite to play another sport's bar, this time in our hometown.

Secret Wars: Rocking your faces while you watch ESPN

Wong! Rival Hydra Factions! Giant Santa Claus Hydra Robot Rampaging Through New York! A Fin Fang Foom Story That Doesn't Involve Stupid Jokes About Purple Pants!

Marvel making the holidays a little more merrier with this Newsarama preview for this year's Holiday Special...

I downloaded some podcasts this weekend and I want to give a shout out to everyone's favorite "Ironic Age" blogger, Chris Sims of the ISB for giving us a short but sweet podcast. Two in fact. Could be a little longer in length, but they're fun nonetheless. Check them out.

To celebrate Chris's foray into podcasting, I offer up a picture of Captain America getting his face kicked by some guy named Joe:

In addition to Chris's podcast, I downloaded a few from Wordballoon as well. If you have not had the pleasure of listening to John Siuntres, please do so. He comes from radio and brings with him a very entertaining combination of comic book knowledge and class.

My friend Ryan just let me borrow the American TPB by Mark Verheiden from Dark Horse and the Jonah Hex Showcase TPB. Leaving for work this morning, I think I made the unfortunate mistake of picking up the American instead of the Jonah Hex because after only a few pages, I feel as if I am going to choke on the late 80s/early 90s not-so-good Grim 'n Grittiness of it all. Help me out here, fellow bloggers and commenters. Should I continue? Is there anything in Verheiden's The American that would a fully involved read?

Yeah, probably not, huh.

Friday, December 08, 2006

The Good, The Bad, and The Links.

The Good!

Brian is celebrating his 100th post in the form of a gala with Modok and Doctor Mayavale as guests of honor. The only thing funnier than that is getting stuck in an elevator with the two. Go, read, click on some of the links and read some more. Brian's got nothing but love for comics and he Modok obsession runs strong.

The Bad!

Chris over at 2 Guys Buying Comics wusses out. After a year of rocking out with their cocks out, Two Guys calls its quits if only because its really down to just One Guy and he just doesn't love us anymore. As a matter of fact, he doesn't even love comics! Its bad enough to post intermittenly, but to give up on it all together? Bollocks! You ask me, I think Chris is giving up because of Civil War. Way to let a crappy company wide crossover beat ya down, bro. See ya, wouldn't wanna be ya!

The Links!

  • The Playboy Townhouse courtesy of Meathaus. Peep that rotating Playboy Bed that has been "electronically turned on its 360-degree base to take full advantage of a romantic fire." Just one questions, though: where's a player gonna store all his long boxes?

  • Jon Hex makes with the funny, detailing what it was like right BEFORE Grant Morrison came onboard. Its a question that we all know the answer to, but Jon makes it funny. Now, if only he could take the time and learn just a little bit about HTML...

  • Totally, completely hilarious

  • Natural forms!