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Monday, September 18, 2006

Brill Busted?

A quick click over to everyone's favorite blog, Brill Building, by Ian Brill and you will find this:

Well, what happened? Where'd Ian go? RSS feeder Bloglines comes to the rescue:

Looks like "Emma Jones" hacked his site and turned it into a spam link dump, causing Ian to go offline until he fixes it. Here's to hoping that's sooner than later. Even though Ian updates less than I do, when he does, its comic blogging gold.

Get well soon, Ian!

EDIT: Ok, I'm an idiot. Ian Brill Blogs on here, however my current internet browser only shows a blank screen. The source shows that something is there, but I can't see it.

I know. Talk about an exciting day of blogging over here.

Wednesday, September 13, 2006

Serial Dino-Loving!

I'm just about done with this really excellent and amazing book called Mind Hunter by John Douglas. Well, who is that, you ask? He started motherfuggin' FBI profiling, you ill informed blog reader! The reading of Mind Hunter is a prerequisite for my Psychology Class that our teacher, Mrs. Something Or Other, decided we need to learn about the warped minds of serial killers as taught by John Douglas. And Mr. Douglas, you have taught me well.

So well, that I already have half of my friends pegged for potential rapists, murderors, and perverts. Yes, its true. I grew up with a couple of demented fucks that are one "stressor" away from being the next Monte Rissell. Hell, put me into an small, crappy apartment that I would share with a girlfriend that I am unhappy with and surprise me with some kind of financial crisis right around Christmas time, and I too could make it into the minor league of serial killing psychopaths. Its just that simple! Considering the history of failed relationships that has brought untold amounts of mysoginistic hate and crippling grief coupled with the fact that I'm a financial loser, its a wonder I haven't freaked at all! The day I buy a VW bus, run for the hills! In all seriousness, I might be considered one of the better off, more well adjusted of my group of friends. And really, that's just all kinds of wrong.

Thank you, John Douglas, for pointing these facts out to me. Your book is awesome, even if you have me convinced that I'm 3 steps away from going psycho. Imagine what would have happened if I got the book on Autism instead?

Time for some completely unrelated philosophical Dino-Humor!

Crisis On Dino Earth!

My dino-heart empathsizes, T-Rex...

Take that, Feminism!

Choose your own adventure! Part Dos!

I think I'm sorta gay for that big ol' T-Rex...

Tuesday, September 12, 2006

This On-Again, Off-Again business is fuckin' with my heart

I've done yet another horrible thing. Yes, you remember the last time I did something horrible? It was along the lines of


which really wasn't that bad of a choice, considering that Heroes For Hire was pretty entertaining and I have rediscovered my love for all things Fabian Nicieza. The only bad thing about that decision was anything with JMS's name on it. However, the horrible thing I have done this time is not


or even anywhere along the lines. What I have done is pretty much in the realm of:


I know, I know, that's almost like saying


Ok, now I'm starting to sound like Chris Sims. But anyhoo... I have made this decision based upon the fact that there things out there that I want to possess or need to pay off, including(but not limited to) a new guitar amp, the band van, a root canal I under went whilst uninsured, and maybe some Henna tattoos, and god damn it, how am I going to have money for things like this when I'm dropping 2.95 to 4.95 a pop on comic books? Its not going to happen! I tried cutting back my pull list, but it just manages to morph back into the monster that it currently is. So that's it. I'm done. I'm out. Next time you see me with a comic, it'll be all beat up and on loan from the Library. When my friend Tony told me about the American Flagg trade he just got from the Library, I realized that the solution to being an active CONSUMER was becoming an active BORROWER. Let's not forget that my good friend Ryan still buys way too many comics and trades on the weekly basis so I'll be pillaging his collection on the irregular basis.

In light of these recent developments, the real question must be asked: What of the comic book blogging? Will somebody PLEASE think about the comic book blogging? I've never been all that good, and when I was, it involved me getting molested by a Flash comic. At this point, you're already used to the infrequency and lack of real content, so we'll just go from "dude that you call every now and then to hang out" to "dude you occassionally see around at the local bar with some tramp on his arm." It'll be nice when we run into each other, but really, I'm just another dude with a 'tude that you probably need crashing on your floor at 3:30 in the morning. Its for your own good.

Yes, they've fixed that whole Dragonhead incident, just before I could proposition TPop CS Rep with cyber-sexiness. Now I gotta troll chat rooms like everybody else. Weak. Ok, so I'm not completely GONE from buying comics. I just might stop at Borders or the LCS and pick up a thing or two every now and then, that's it!

Are you not listening to the Annuals yet? Because you're crazy if you're not. I mean, they're called the Annuals. That's just nerdical enough for you all to jump on it for its name alone. The full length album drops on October 18th. Get in the know, bro!

One last thing to all y'all: Chill out. They're just comics. Joe Quesada is an idiot, yes, but really, do we even care because we care or do we care because it gives us things to complain about and that's what really makes us tick, complaining about comics? Sorry, but your bitching is getting in the way of my comic blog enjoyment.

I will shut up now.

Tuesday, September 05, 2006

Is reading The Invisibles at your cubicle at work, grounds for sexual harassment?

Ok, so there is no post about Spider-man as the everyday hero and why you're not escaping hard enough simply because I can't be hassled to scan a bunch of pictures from the Longshot trade. Yes, that's what the post was about; Longshot. Basically, it was going to espouse upon the action movie hero X-man with luck powers that was dug by all the chicks and looked like David Bowie from The Labryinth. It was light and fun and full of sarcasm, but all in all, a colossal waste of time when it comes to scanning. Reading the trade was a waste of time as well. Talking about it now? Wasting my time.

You know what is really, really good that I haven't heard anyone really talking about? The Exterminators. I'm throwing my hat into the ring of people that like, no, LOVE The Exterminators. For $10 a pop, you will get 5 solid issues of grossed out weirdness that will have you remembering the hey day of Vertigo's comics. Considering this is Simon Oliver's first writing gig, its is absolutely astounding how amazing and captivating this book is. Sprinkle a lit bit of Tony Moore on top of all of it and you have one happy Spencer. Let's not forget all those other people with names that I can't remember right now for inking, coloring, lettering and editing that fine book.

Buy the book, ride it twice, and go back and pick up the monthlies. Good comics like this deserve your $. Let's not forget the podcast from those good boys over at Comic Geek Speak which really is what sold me on The Exterminators. For reasons not worth explaining, I'm in a position right now that doesn't no allow me to get the direct link to the podcast and I may even have the actual address for the Comic Geek Speak website wrong. If so, get off your lazy ass and Google it.

This might be wrong of me to say, but I didn't really enjoy the new All Star Superman all that much. It was good, it just wasn't for me. Luthor is an interesting as villians can be and Morrison and Quietly did such a bang up job on showing us what makes their Luthor tick, but something just didn't quite stick with me. I felt like I was just passing some time and yes, that double page spread with stairs was a lovely touch, reminding us all of how great Quitely and Morrison can be, however it just came down to an "Ok" issue when everything was said and done. Unlike most of the bloggers out there, I am a not a huge DC fan so maybe my genetics were at fault as why I could not appreciate it as much as the rest of you did. Then again, the first three issues(And only the first three. # 4 didn't strike me as anything astounding, simply because Jimmy Olsen didn't seem like Jimmy Olsen to me so much as he seemed like some kind of glorified nerd-turned-superstar.) were great. Maybe its a matter of just not being the best comic I read this past weekend.

What comic is that? Carey and Bachalo's X-men # 190. Yeah, that was like, um......wow. When I think about that issue, the faux-critic in me wants to say things like "hyper-kinetic", "visually striking", "alluringly compelling", and "this is how X-men comics should be: uber explosively good." Marvel, you can write that on the back of the trade dress if you want, just so long as you credit it to the "Redheaded Adonis." Its a motley bunch of X-characters running around, either beating up or getting beat on, and quite frankly, that's how it should be. The mysterious villian that we know only that "is neither human nor mutant" is a tired bit, but impressions on that can definitely change once we find out more.

Of all three X-men books out there right now, Mike Carey is on the top. Brubaker's X-men has promise, but is starting to look like a glove that doesn't quite fit. And Whedon's run is so completely mired in nostalgia that its almost masturbatory, with only the parts involving S.W.O.R.D. standing out. If only Carey would stay, but it wouldn't be an X-men book if there already was changings in the wind such...

And are those rumors of there going to be only two X-men team books with Millar and Brubaker at the helm true at all? Speaking of which, who is/are the new X-men editor(s)? Could it be the same two writers? Let's just hope they put Bachalo on a decent book when they cancel his title.

While you're contemplating that last little bit of possible rumor mongering, go listen to some Annuals. The track "Brother" will rock your face off.

Friday, September 01, 2006

A post where many things are talked about, but nothing is really said at all

Awhile back we spoke and I was going on about how I was going to be out of commission for awhile and that you could find me interrupting any and all conversation about about man-hating over at Ragnell's Written World by espousing upon the wonder of Power Girl's biggems in manner like such:

"Y'all should be lucky we let you have big boobs in our little boys club!"
However, there's been little penis envy(Just kidding!) over there as of late, so I figured I'd get my run-on sentence.......on.

First off, I can blog. Last time I posted, I was under the impression that the jobbie job had managed to curtail it and decided to lament that loss by posting a picture of Speedball's cat. A few days latter, I found me a workaround and my semi-hilarious hi jinxs could continue. Whilst working up a post about the Mad Thinker's appearance in New Warriors # 3, I discovered I can't post pictures. And really, what's a blog post without pictures? That's like a comic without word balloons! GI Joe # 21 I am not. The homefront sports Dial Up which I've been working on fixing for quite some time, but I put a hippy in charge of that months ago and we're STILL waiting 5 minutes to get a dial tone.

Now that I can blog, what is there to blog about? Ah, the eternal question. Some would(and have) said, "blog about what you love!" however my feelings are a promiscuious mistress with many lovers to its bosom that if we were oblige them all, it would be a blog about ADD. Then again, that's not really all that different from the format, now is it. Some of the subjects that have crossed my mind as of late are really just fanfic in nature and really, what is fanfic if it doesn't involve some slash in there some where. Why bore you with my ramblings of why we need to cut the crap with all this temporally displaced mutants still hanging around the X-Universe and how these characters from the far flung future are still tying us to the past, making it hard for us as X-men readers to move on, if that fanficish rambling doesn't involve some mutant-on-mutant love between Cable and Bishop? And I don't know if I have those kind of stones for that. Hear, let's give it a shot:

"It just so hard sometimes," Cable said with a soft tear coming down from his one remaining human eye. Looking at the picture of his father, Scott Summers, with the women who his own mother was cloned from, Jean Grey, together on their wedding day was heart wrenching. From a war torn future that may come to be, Nathan Summers had endured many injuries in his life time. The scars remained, but what of those injuries of which would never heal? What of his own broken heart? "Being from the future, its almost as if I'm not allowed to cry. I'm not allowed to show my emotions. Almost as if they've been outlawed much like mutants have in The Days Of Future Past."
"Don't worry, my temporarily displaced friend," Bishop said as he clutched Cable's shoulder pad. "Although we come from a time much more complicated than the one we live in now, where we battled day in and day out, its still ok for us to cry from time to time. No one understands the lives we have lived but you and I, Cable."
"I'm a raging ball of mutant emotion..." Cable whimpered as he turned and hugged his fellow X-man.
"Its ok, Askani-son" said Bishop as he embraced his fellow X-men. "Let me absorb your sadness."
See? Don't you want more? Reading Cable and Bishop slash is like cyber jocking in the not-so-distant future! You get so addicted that you can't unplug and when you do, its only because there's an AI that's taken a liking that strange and fascinating piece of data that some punk traded to you for some good ICE and the AI's goons are at your door and its time to RUN, RUN, RUN. All idiotic metaphors aside, how could I turn down the responsibility that has been thrust into my hands?

I'm sorry folks, but I can't write that Bishop and Cable slash. And what I can write, which amounts to nothing more than a 4 issue pitch about how we finally can rid of Cable, Bishop, and Rachel Summers for once and for all(don't worry, one of them lives on in the Exiles, jumping from What If? to What If?) and move on, you don't want to read it. You need to get your perv on somewhere else.

The other things that I want to blog about require my amateurish photoshop skills and right now, I'm either too lazy or too busy. U Decide!

I'm a blogging mess right now, but onward and upward we go!

Whose pissed about Dragon Head going online exclusive!? Well, who isn't really.....but whose ALSO pissed? Me, I guess, but not really, but yeah I kind of am. Purchasing them online isn't THAT big of a hassle. And it really is ok that my money is not going to my local comic book shop. Its quite alright that I get to miss out on that little bit of conversation that I have with the local comic shop over the new Dragon Head, a book THEY turned me on to. Maybe Tokyo Pop has a customer service Bot that can hopefully supplement the whole process that goes into buying Dragon Head:

SpencerDidYrMom: What's up, man. How you doing?
SpencerDidYrMom: The new Dragon Head is out? Hells yeah, bro. I want it!
SpencerDidYrMom: Nah, I'm kewl, I guess. Did you hear about what Mark Millar said this week on his message board? Talk about lame.
SpencerDidYrMom: You don't have that Exterminators do you?
SpencerDidYrMom: Hey, wait a second. This isn't a comic shop. Why am I talking to a smarty-arty computer that thinks its a person? I hate smarty-arty computers that think they're people!
SpencerDidYrMom: Can you provide me with intimate knowledge of your products in addition to the witty banter that I come to expect from local comic shop?
SpencerDidYrMom signed off
As awesome as that sounds, it will never compare to the time when my favorite LCS Employee, Darron, accidentally slipped up and called me a "homo" instead of "homeboy" in front of his boss and two lesbians. Sorry, Tokyo Pop, but this one gets a thumbs DOWN from me.

Despite all that bitching, Yes, I'll still buy Dragon Head online, because DUDE, THEY'RE ON THE SURFACE AND EVERYTHING IS CRAZY!!!?!

The Spider Jerusalem Award for the best blurb in journalism. I'm sure this was linked somewhere, probably on Warren Ellis's home page, but I don't want to get fired from my job, so I don't check his page out all that much. Oh, and I'm still a little pissed about your high and mighty Apparat line that didn't do much for generating interest in non-superhero comics other than you just complaining the same old complaint we've all heard before. Yes, it sucks that Nurse comics used to be all the rage way back when, but writing an essay about it in the back of your 4 crime/action/cellphone-diatribe-comics doesn't really do much for trying to change the fact that Nurse comics aren't all the rage today.

Speaking of technology, everyone needs to stop saying "Internets" when you're referring to the Internet. Its not funny nor clever and really, you sound like my dad trying to say "nizzle" except you don't look like Robin Williams.

How have you been spending your Civil War Ceasefire?

Sure, there's the few tie-in books coming out which aren't all that bad, but really, tie-in or no, there's a whole in your heart that can only be filled by Civil War # 4. How have you filled it?

Me, I went back and reread Street Angel. Wow. That is one fine piece of comic book goodness. Its got everything! Ninja Revisionist History! Skateboarding! Globe Dominating Mad Scientists! Blaxploitation! Dumpster Diving! An eating contest between a squid and a 12 year old kid! My favorite was when the scene in issue one where she takes out all the ninjas on the top floor of Dr. Pangea's lair only to finish the scene up with a panel of Street Angel standing over the dead bodies, thinking "Where's my shoe?" Take what is a staple in action comics of the lone, triumphant warrior, bloodied and bruised, but not beaten, standing over a cadre of dead *insert your favorite henchmen type here* and turn it on its head by adding that little thought balloon.....pure genius. Street Angel is a comic that will have your co-workers looking at you sideways with your answer to their "So what are you reading?" question.

Also, I just read the Dark Phoenix saga in TPB form. As a dedicated Marvel fan, its almost sacrilege that I have never sat myself down and read this piece of Marvel History. Most of what I know about the Marvel U comes from roleplaying. Pouring over sourcebooks, rule manuals and OHTMU styled character books has provided me with a lot of second hand knowledge. Over the years, I've put faces to names and climatic battles to character history texts. Now I understand fully the importance of the Phoenix and what she did to the X-men. I knew Jean Grey had some crazy ass powers and even read the subsequent reappearance of the Phoenix as of late. I understand how powerful her Shift Y flight is and how far across the universe it can take her, but I never quite witnessed until I saw her open up a space warp with sheer will power alone. The humanity of the situation was known to me, but I never felt it until I saw the Recorder seeking some kind of answers from the Watcher as to the nature of the moral dilemma the X-men faced in those final moments.

In essence, I am complete.

Oh, I finally read Animal Man: Origin Of The Species and Flex Mentallo too. The first was good, but no where are good as Flex. Yeah, that was fantastic. Thanks for making me feel stupid for reading super hero comics, Grant, ya big jerk!

Other than that, I'm a little spent. If we're lucky, we'll get a little posting on this weekend that debunks that whole "Spider-man is the everyman hero that allows me to escape from the horrors of the world by pretending I'm him with his problems AND his powers" myth. Essentially, you're not escaping hard enough.