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Sunday, March 12, 2006

I'm just going to come out and say it. The 1st 25 issues of the New Warriors is two clicks short of amazing. Fabian Nicienza & Mark Bagley making straight up good super hero fun that quite frankly never gets the respect that it deserves. And that's why we're here. I'm going to school your asses in New Warriors 101 and show you why they're the "HEROES FOR THE 90'S--!"

Today's lesson?

How To Start A Super Hero Team In One Issue.

I'm hoping that you're taking notes, Mr. Bendis. Let's begin.

Take one pissed off guy in a snazzy suit--!

Next, you find some washed up never-was super heroes and...

Threaten their personal lives--!

Throw them off a building to activate their latent powers--!

And go through the Avengers' trash--!

Then you take a spin on the Pick-Us-A-Villian-To-Fight wheel--!

Count on a completely random characters to show up such as...

An Atlantean Princess--!

And the last Marvel character that Ditko ever created--!

Fight, fight, fight--!--!--!


Let the parents clean up the mess--!

Seal the deal with a "Woah, Bundy"--!

Instant Super Hero Team For The 90's--!

Next, we'll have a lesson in street knowledge involving stolen A.I.M. weaponry. Break for recess.


Anonymous said...

American Indian Movement? Is it like a bunch of bows and arrows? Maybe some tomahawks?

Chris said...

I'm on board. If anyone can convince me to give a damn about the New Warriors, it's you. Have at it.

Ragnell said...

The 90s... *Shudder* I'm going to go run and hide now.

Spencer Carnage said...

Tomahawks? Hell nah. We're talking particle beam cannons and yellow jumpsuits with goofy helmets. Its called "terror." Maybe you heard about it?