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Tuesday, October 24, 2006

Mark Bagley and You!

Guess what happens when you use an Old Paypal account to buy Paul Pope art? Besides the obvious alliteration, it gets sent to an address you haven't lived at for over a year. I contacted Chris Pitzer at Adhouse with the vain hopes that he hadn't sent the art yet, but he's all punctual like it was cool and shit. Damn you Pitzer and your timeliness in taking my money and sending me the goods before I realized the snafu!

In case you haven't read it, Rich Johnston spoils the new Ultimate Spider-man artist. Once again, Bendis snipes a great artist from the one writer he wishes he could he be. What is up with that? "Warren Ellis is king. Yoink, Mr McNiven! I'm really enjoying NextWave. Mine, mine, mine! All mine!" Who knows what kind of role Bendis has in all of this, but he can't be held completely unaccountable, that's for sure. Then again, I'm sure Stuart Immonnen was just DYING to work on a Spider-man book that tries in earnest to make things like Omega Red and the Clone Saga cool again.

The real important questions is....what's Mark Bagley going to do next? That's what I want to know. Speculations are...

New Avengers! Bagley excels at team books and putting him on a team book with Bendis is like that time you broke up with your significant other, but you stick around for the sex and holiday companionship. You know. Its nice and all but its not really what you want.

Fill in issues on Mighty Avengers! Considering that they put an artist who has no real experience with a monthly book, its a no brainer to have Bagley come in and pitch hit every few issues. The Kuberts had a whole school to ghost from and they still brought in the Bagster. That's Mark Bagley's new name, the Bagster! Mmmm, yeah....let's not call him that.

Astonishing X-men! This would never happen, but it would be funny to see the "Pssssh. The only Marvel book I read is Whedon and Cassady's Astonishing" crowd get all bent out of shape when their faux-high class X-men get instilled with some good ol' fashion comic book POW! SOCK! BOOM! into its pages. No, Bagley would be thrown into the X-men Ghetto of Adjectiveless. And yes, that would be a good thing.

New New Warriors! It would never happen, but if it did, it probably wouldn't involve Fabian because would throw some jackoff like Kirkman on it, causing me blog more than I really want to. I would have to commit bukkake in disgrace for not becoming a professional comic book writer in time to steal that gig out from under him. Bukkake is where you kill yourself like the samurai used to do, right?

Amazing Spider-man! Yeah....probably not.

Iron Man! I could see it happening, however Tony Stark is jerk and I would have to begrudgingly fall in love with his Republican Nazi ways just because he was rendered by Mark Bagley.

Fantastic Four! I read those issue and Bagley was good but the FF pretty much belong in the DCU. (Translation, they suck! Ha ha, DC! Take THAT!) And just like my sodas, I don't do Diet. (Oww! Burn!)

Runaways! With Whedon. Now that sounds like a solid book. Although the Runaways wouldn't look as young under Mark's pencils as they do now, he has the right kind of light, airy energy that would continue to fill the seats. And considered the book's ability to bring the nostalgia, especially with Whedon on board, we could see Bagley drawing lame ass villians like an Armadillo-Porcupine team up. You know, Spencer, you just might be on to something there...either this or that new Loners book.

And that's about it. Those are the only titles I could see Mark Bagley doing, with a couple of them being thrown there with a very flimsy MAYBE backing them up. After doing a zillion years of a solo book, I'm loathe to think they would put him on another solo book, especially considering that most of them, like Captain America, Daredevil, and the Punisher are too dark in tone for his style. Same with the current Thunderbolts. Regardless, whatever book he gets thrown on, ten bucks says the Mad Thinker shows up in the first 4 issues. Its practically a law that he shows up in any book that Mark Bagley helps launch.

You see what I just did? I just cast a wide enough net so that when the time comes, I can get all up in your faces, bragging about my immense mental capacity for guessing things and predicting stuff. That's what why YOU turn to Spencer D. Carnage over at Of Course, Yeah! for all of your comic book blogging needs! He gets crap done! (Now with pictures!)


Anonymous said...

I read those issue and Bagley was good but the FF pretty much belong in the DCU. (Translation, they suck! Ha ha, DC! Take THAT!) And just like my sodas, I don't do Diet. (Oww! Burn!)

You're a mean man, Mr. Carnage, but I like the cut of your jib.

Jerry said...

Great sharre