Oww! Who needs girls when they make comics like these? Go buy stuff!
Friday, October 20, 2006
I'll take the Mutant power of bringing 2-D images to life now, please, thank you!
Thank you, Heidi. Because of her, I now own a fancy pants limited print (+ 24 page ashcan) by Paul Pope. Shit is hot!
Oww! Who needs girls when they make comics like these? Go buy stuff!
Oww! Who needs girls when they make comics like these? Go buy stuff!
Wednesday, October 18, 2006
I H8 U CORPORATE AMERICA
Why can't I find the new Annuals CD anywhere? Does it not exist? Has it magically disappeared into limbo, suffering in purgatory forever and ever? What of my purgatory? Why must I be denied what is probably one of the most talked about debut CDs of 2006?
To put it nicely, Corporate Music Chains are ruining my miserable little life right now. Its like trying to find a copy of Kupperman's Tales Designed To Thrizzle at my local comic shop. They tried to order it to no avail. And now, my OTHER obsession, has proved to be quite just as frustrating. I could have stolen it online in a move that is partially responsible for the lack of the mom and pop music store in the general vicinity. Tower Records would of had it in stock, but they've been bought out, with all their assets being moved in a liquidating sale that makes navigating the aisles a wee bit nauseating. There's the whole online routine, but damn it, its nice to walk into a store with specific items consciously floating around the brain and walk out with that Prince CD that was subconsciously staking my buying habits out.
Annuals debut album, Be He Me, was set to be released to the world at large on October 17th, 2006. Spencer D. Carnage journeyed forth to find this CD, buy it, and listen the fuck out to it. Starting this trek at high noon, he found himself wandering through the automatic doors of Best Buy just down the street from his hamlet of employment. Passing by the Raptures, TV On The Radios, and Between The Buried And Mes, it was only minutes before a painful realization was made: That shit ain't here, son. With his resolve high, the young knight pressed onward. Next stop, Borders. In this literary land of book nerds and magazine aficionados, he casually made note of the ever shrinking section devoted to the graphic novella and headed upstairs. "Do you have the Annuals CD?" Met with rejection, he wondered back down and back on to his mighty stead, the UnCivic. With only 25 minutes to finish histask, he sped on over to Fry's. Things were starting to look desperate. Fighting off the dizzying spell that uber-huge electronic stores seem to have on those inside their walls, it was with great luck that the Gods Above did not instil our protagonist with a huge, muscular frame because he was within seconds of choke slamming the closest thing resembling a manager while uttering a blood curdling scream of "WHY!?" as loud as humanly possible. Defeated, Spencer Carnage made his way back to work.
With work over(and that idiotic attempt at framing this story in a manner befit for Dungeon Masters), I rushed over to the Wherehouse back in Simi Valley where I live. "Its not Tower, but its better than Best Buy." Right? That's a logical assumption, correct? Every store I had visited on my lunch break all had copies of Arcade Fire and Animal Collective, two bands that are well within the genre that the Annuals thrive in. Wherehouse has GOT to have this CD. Uh uh. Next, we try another Borders. Nope, still no luck. With band practice only an hour away, my options are limited. But wait! Remember when I couldn't find the new Broken Social Scene in the Best Buy in Oxnard, but found crap loads at the Best Buy in Thousand Oaks?! Guess where I went next? And guess who didn't have it?
At this time, I'm a defeated man, stylishly smoking a cigarette underneath a street light in the Best Buy parking lot in hopes of showing the world my pain... MY FRUSTRATION. While driving home in blind rage at Corporate America's inability to provide me with one CD, I actually uttered the words "My Kingdom for a CD!" Tony had called me while I was driving to my last chance attempt at being a consumer for the day, inviting me over for vegetarian chili dogs. Let me tell you, if Tony and his wife Lyssa invite you over for food, you go. At Tony and Lyssa's house, your french fries come with its own little cup of ketchup. Any where else, they give you a squeeze bottle that you have to pass around the table like you were at Denny's. I'm guessing that they're vegetarian chili dog jamboree came complete with some fancy, homemade salad I ain't never seen before, lots of cheese, and a free beer. All that and you get to dance with their 2 year old daughter Reilly to songs about choo choo trains! Do you see the madness that overtook me on my quest for this CD?
At this point, I'm ready to start calling Urban Outfitters to see if they got it. That's just desperate. According to their website, they're all about Tv On The Radio, but I'm sorry, BRO, I don't want to Return To Cookie Mountain, I wanna Be He Me. And while we're at it, I'll pass on the Future Sexy Sounds and the Anti-Antis, but I might, I MIGHT be tempted to pick up the new Rapture if its playing over your loud speakers and gets my toe tapping while I look at jackets that will raise my Douchebaggery Rating by 2 points. But do they even have it in your store? Apparently not, but I'm hoping that this is some fly under the radar shit that got thrown in the box with their Junior Boys and whatever else they need to restock ytheir shelves with. I'd just drive my ass out to Amoeba after work if I wasn't in Psychology class tonight trying to find a way to classify and catalogue this newfound obsession with Annuals. At the earliest, I'll have a cure for this fever by Thursday. However, if you see the headline "Amoeba Vs. An Angry Ginger. Next time, just buy online" on Fark.com on Friday morning, you can start calling dibs on my comic book collection, which includes the seminal runs of New Warriors 1-25 and Phantom Guard 1-6.
My original intent was pretty this post with covers from selected Marvel Annuals so that the rest of you that don't care for the trivial matters of my non-comic book buying life could have something to look at, but Blogger doesn't want to let me do things like that on this computer
To put it nicely, Corporate Music Chains are ruining my miserable little life right now. Its like trying to find a copy of Kupperman's Tales Designed To Thrizzle at my local comic shop. They tried to order it to no avail. And now, my OTHER obsession, has proved to be quite just as frustrating. I could have stolen it online in a move that is partially responsible for the lack of the mom and pop music store in the general vicinity. Tower Records would of had it in stock, but they've been bought out, with all their assets being moved in a liquidating sale that makes navigating the aisles a wee bit nauseating. There's the whole online routine, but damn it, its nice to walk into a store with specific items consciously floating around the brain and walk out with that Prince CD that was subconsciously staking my buying habits out.
Annuals debut album, Be He Me, was set to be released to the world at large on October 17th, 2006. Spencer D. Carnage journeyed forth to find this CD, buy it, and listen the fuck out to it. Starting this trek at high noon, he found himself wandering through the automatic doors of Best Buy just down the street from his hamlet of employment. Passing by the Raptures, TV On The Radios, and Between The Buried And Mes, it was only minutes before a painful realization was made: That shit ain't here, son. With his resolve high, the young knight pressed onward. Next stop, Borders. In this literary land of book nerds and magazine aficionados, he casually made note of the ever shrinking section devoted to the graphic novella and headed upstairs. "Do you have the Annuals CD?" Met with rejection, he wondered back down and back on to his mighty stead, the UnCivic. With only 25 minutes to finish histask, he sped on over to Fry's. Things were starting to look desperate. Fighting off the dizzying spell that uber-huge electronic stores seem to have on those inside their walls, it was with great luck that the Gods Above did not instil our protagonist with a huge, muscular frame because he was within seconds of choke slamming the closest thing resembling a manager while uttering a blood curdling scream of "WHY!?" as loud as humanly possible. Defeated, Spencer Carnage made his way back to work.
With work over(and that idiotic attempt at framing this story in a manner befit for Dungeon Masters), I rushed over to the Wherehouse back in Simi Valley where I live. "Its not Tower, but its better than Best Buy." Right? That's a logical assumption, correct? Every store I had visited on my lunch break all had copies of Arcade Fire and Animal Collective, two bands that are well within the genre that the Annuals thrive in. Wherehouse has GOT to have this CD. Uh uh. Next, we try another Borders. Nope, still no luck. With band practice only an hour away, my options are limited. But wait! Remember when I couldn't find the new Broken Social Scene in the Best Buy in Oxnard, but found crap loads at the Best Buy in Thousand Oaks?! Guess where I went next? And guess who didn't have it?
At this time, I'm a defeated man, stylishly smoking a cigarette underneath a street light in the Best Buy parking lot in hopes of showing the world my pain... MY FRUSTRATION. While driving home in blind rage at Corporate America's inability to provide me with one CD, I actually uttered the words "My Kingdom for a CD!" Tony had called me while I was driving to my last chance attempt at being a consumer for the day, inviting me over for vegetarian chili dogs. Let me tell you, if Tony and his wife Lyssa invite you over for food, you go. At Tony and Lyssa's house, your french fries come with its own little cup of ketchup. Any where else, they give you a squeeze bottle that you have to pass around the table like you were at Denny's. I'm guessing that they're vegetarian chili dog jamboree came complete with some fancy, homemade salad I ain't never seen before, lots of cheese, and a free beer. All that and you get to dance with their 2 year old daughter Reilly to songs about choo choo trains! Do you see the madness that overtook me on my quest for this CD?
At this point, I'm ready to start calling Urban Outfitters to see if they got it. That's just desperate. According to their website, they're all about Tv On The Radio, but I'm sorry, BRO, I don't want to Return To Cookie Mountain, I wanna Be He Me. And while we're at it, I'll pass on the Future Sexy Sounds and the Anti-Antis, but I might, I MIGHT be tempted to pick up the new Rapture if its playing over your loud speakers and gets my toe tapping while I look at jackets that will raise my Douchebaggery Rating by 2 points. But do they even have it in your store? Apparently not, but I'm hoping that this is some fly under the radar shit that got thrown in the box with their Junior Boys and whatever else they need to restock ytheir shelves with. I'd just drive my ass out to Amoeba after work if I wasn't in Psychology class tonight trying to find a way to classify and catalogue this newfound obsession with Annuals. At the earliest, I'll have a cure for this fever by Thursday. However, if you see the headline "Amoeba Vs. An Angry Ginger. Next time, just buy online" on Fark.com on Friday morning, you can start calling dibs on my comic book collection, which includes the seminal runs of New Warriors 1-25 and Phantom Guard 1-6.
My original intent was pretty this post with covers from selected Marvel Annuals so that the rest of you that don't care for the trivial matters of my non-comic book buying life could have something to look at, but Blogger doesn't want to let me do things like that on this computer
Tuesday, October 10, 2006
Its like a message board post, minus the animated GIF of some wobbly boobs
Time for me to weigh in some things, because really, that's what this whole blogging is about: Cramming my idiotic opinions down your throat, you sexy comic blogging reading bunch, you!
Warren Ellis on Thunderbolts!
First thoughts? Wait for the trade. Actually, wait for the reviews. Taking a dip in DC's pool of ideas, Marvel gives us a book that Thunderbolts was practically made for. Psychotic Marvel Villians being utilized in a Suicide Squad-esque fashion as they take on superheroes gone rogue and other villians is great fodder for four color entertainment. If there ever was a writer that was perfectly suited for the premise, its definitely Warren Ellis. Although Warren is an immensely talented writer, his dialogue for mean SOBs is a bag tricks that I've seen and grown tired of. I doubt his work on Thunderbolts will do anything to change my superior opinions on all of that. And Deodato? Do you people really think he's that good? Really?
And good ol' Fabian.....well, at least he gets to finish up his plot lines with a mini-series focusing on Zemo, but that's it for him and the T-Bolts. I'm a bit new to the series, thanks to the Civil War Tie-ins that I enjoyed and I was looking forward to picking up the back issues along with adding it to my pull(whenever I get back on that train), but what can you do. Thankfully he's still on Cable & Deadpool which I really, really like. Yes, I too can't believe I just blogged that out loud.
New Wildcats preview
This is beautiful. Grant Morrison captures perfectly what the Wildstorm universe was about before his arrival and gives us a great glimpse into what's to come next. I simply can not wait. Wildcats started off as an X-men cover band that went through a few member changes, all to no avail. I like the idea that Morrison is going to take it back to its roots, derivative as they may be, all while including Joe Casey's recent attempt at it, and simply do it better. And his concept for Authority is just as great. Taking the Elephant out of the Wildstorm Room and putting it in the real world of today gives the rest of the Wildstorm U room to breathe.
(awkward silence)
Why does my mind work like this?
It would have been nice if he threw in some of the b-list heroes that cameoed(sp?) in Sleeper on that last panel of the two page spread. Once again, why does my mind work this way? Please submit your answers to the comments section below, thank you.
Yes, that's all I really have to say about anything new going on in comics. Great, huh?
What's else is going on guys? How you been? I know, I know, you missed me and my nancy boy shenanigans. We missed you, too. I finally listened to the podcast from AboutHeroes.com with Chris from 2 Guys Reading Comics. Chris is his usual intelligent, funny self with 7 other people, some with some smart things to say, others not so much. What's with the guy who says he's going to stop buying comics because he didn't like Civil War # whatever?
You're actually going to let a crappy comic keep you from enjoying other comics that are good? If I could have called in when I heard that, I would have.
Someone please put me on a podcast with this guy so I can tell him that yes, what you just said is idiotic and the tongue lashing I'm about to give you is on that you've probably should have received during childhood because that is where those foolish notions belong. You, the speaker, are probably a fine, upstanding young gentleman, but what you just said is grounds for a smack across the face with a glove. You sound like a dumb ass. If Ford makes a crappy car, do you stop driving? If Pizza Hut puts out a pizza that you don't like, do you stop eating altogether? If someone says something that you don't like to hear do you give up on communicating with other people? The anonymity of the internet allows for you to say some pretty stupid shit. Through the use of an online persona, you can openly tell the world that you secretly fantasize about sleeping with the teleporting Inhuman dog, Lockjaw, without any fear of reprisal from family, friends and the local comic store you shop at because you're just another BatHombre0918xx to us. You can't do that in real life. You could, but please.....don't. Just quietly step away from the comic books and we'll let you leave with your dignity intact. Its that simple.
Warren Ellis on Thunderbolts!
First thoughts? Wait for the trade. Actually, wait for the reviews. Taking a dip in DC's pool of ideas, Marvel gives us a book that Thunderbolts was practically made for. Psychotic Marvel Villians being utilized in a Suicide Squad-esque fashion as they take on superheroes gone rogue and other villians is great fodder for four color entertainment. If there ever was a writer that was perfectly suited for the premise, its definitely Warren Ellis. Although Warren is an immensely talented writer, his dialogue for mean SOBs is a bag tricks that I've seen and grown tired of. I doubt his work on Thunderbolts will do anything to change my superior opinions on all of that. And Deodato? Do you people really think he's that good? Really?
And good ol' Fabian.....well, at least he gets to finish up his plot lines with a mini-series focusing on Zemo, but that's it for him and the T-Bolts. I'm a bit new to the series, thanks to the Civil War Tie-ins that I enjoyed and I was looking forward to picking up the back issues along with adding it to my pull(whenever I get back on that train), but what can you do. Thankfully he's still on Cable & Deadpool which I really, really like. Yes, I too can't believe I just blogged that out loud.
New Wildcats preview
This is beautiful. Grant Morrison captures perfectly what the Wildstorm universe was about before his arrival and gives us a great glimpse into what's to come next. I simply can not wait. Wildcats started off as an X-men cover band that went through a few member changes, all to no avail. I like the idea that Morrison is going to take it back to its roots, derivative as they may be, all while including Joe Casey's recent attempt at it, and simply do it better. And his concept for Authority is just as great. Taking the Elephant out of the Wildstorm Room and putting it in the real world of today gives the rest of the Wildstorm U room to breathe.
(awkward silence)
Why does my mind work like this?
It would have been nice if he threw in some of the b-list heroes that cameoed(sp?) in Sleeper on that last panel of the two page spread. Once again, why does my mind work this way? Please submit your answers to the comments section below, thank you.
Yes, that's all I really have to say about anything new going on in comics. Great, huh?
What's else is going on guys? How you been? I know, I know, you missed me and my nancy boy shenanigans. We missed you, too. I finally listened to the podcast from AboutHeroes.com with Chris from 2 Guys Reading Comics. Chris is his usual intelligent, funny self with 7 other people, some with some smart things to say, others not so much. What's with the guy who says he's going to stop buying comics because he didn't like Civil War # whatever?
You're actually going to let a crappy comic keep you from enjoying other comics that are good? If I could have called in when I heard that, I would have.
Someone please put me on a podcast with this guy so I can tell him that yes, what you just said is idiotic and the tongue lashing I'm about to give you is on that you've probably should have received during childhood because that is where those foolish notions belong. You, the speaker, are probably a fine, upstanding young gentleman, but what you just said is grounds for a smack across the face with a glove. You sound like a dumb ass. If Ford makes a crappy car, do you stop driving? If Pizza Hut puts out a pizza that you don't like, do you stop eating altogether? If someone says something that you don't like to hear do you give up on communicating with other people? The anonymity of the internet allows for you to say some pretty stupid shit. Through the use of an online persona, you can openly tell the world that you secretly fantasize about sleeping with the teleporting Inhuman dog, Lockjaw, without any fear of reprisal from family, friends and the local comic store you shop at because you're just another BatHombre0918xx to us. You can't do that in real life. You could, but please.....don't. Just quietly step away from the comic books and we'll let you leave with your dignity intact. Its that simple.
Here's a meme I can get behind!
Oh god! Oh yes! Oh, I think I'm going to make in my pants! Brandon.... from.... Random Panels.... God, how I could kiss you right now..... Thank you...... Thank you so, so, so, so much.... And now..... introducing....
THE BEST MEME EVER THAT ALMOST NEVER WAS!*
Creating your own super heroes using the Hero Machine
Through the powers of Internet Wizardry, I give you...
Alias: Unknown
Base Of Operations: Sunset Strip, Hollywood, CA
Known Affiliations: The Whiskey, The Roxy, Lila Cheney, Strong Guy, Motley Crue, Poison, Nuff Znuff, Spider-man, Dazzler, Scaggs the telepathic Chipmunk, Iron Fist
First Appearance: It Came From Beyond !!! Vol 1 # 1, 1986
Powers:Cosmic Air Guitar - Gifted with two alien rings which, when worn by a user who is air guitaring, can create nearly impenetrable force fields, shoot cosmic blasts, allow the wearer to see throw walls, and instill the feelings of excitement in others. The rings allow Du Dare Broh to create other instruments such as drums and bass, but Du Dare Broh has yet to utilize those instruments because they get you less 'tang.
Natural Charisma - Du Dare Broh's natural charisma allows him to sweet talk chicks of all alien races with remarkable ability.
Scaggs, the Telepathic Chipmunk - Du Dare Broh's companion, Scaggs the Telepathic Chipmunk allows for Du Dare to use him as another set of eyes. A spy of sorts. The distance in which they can communicate telepathically has not been determined, but Scaggs has surmised that it only allows for up to ten miles in range.
Brief History:
Raised on the Planet !!!, Du Dare Broh enjoyed his professional life of Cosmic Air Guitar Centurion when his was accidentally zapped by a mysterious beam of energy. Traveling light years across the universe, he appeared in a flash of brilliant, bright light in the middle of a Motley Crue show. At the very same moment of Du Dare Broh's appearance, a rival glam band, Wargasm, had hired Axemaster, super villian with a vibranium guitar "axe" to take out Motley Crue. Thanks to Du Dare Broh's timely intervention, the Axemaster was defeated and Wargasm's plans to kill the Crue where exposed, leading to their prompt arrest. An instant hit in the hair metal scene of LA, Du Dare Broh quickly made many friends and as well as a few enemies. While saving the Capitol Records building from the Mauler, Du Dare Broh befriended Scaggs, an alien chipmunk with telepathic powers, who helped him defeat the rampaging villian. Both strangers in a strange new land, they became fast friends and continue to act as protectors of the Sunset trip.
I dare you all to rival his awesomeness.
* I say "almost never was" because he posted it awhile ago and almost faded into oblivion until my laziness at work helped to unearth it.
Monday, September 18, 2006
Brill Busted?
A quick click over to everyone's favorite blog, Brill Building, by Ian Brill and you will find this:
Well, what happened? Where'd Ian go? RSS feeder Bloglines comes to the rescue:
Looks like "Emma Jones" hacked his site and turned it into a spam link dump, causing Ian to go offline until he fixes it. Here's to hoping that's sooner than later. Even though Ian updates less than I do, when he does, its comic blogging gold.
Get well soon, Ian!
EDIT: Ok, I'm an idiot. Ian Brill Blogs on here, however my current internet browser only shows a blank screen. The source shows that something is there, but I can't see it.
I know. Talk about an exciting day of blogging over here.
Well, what happened? Where'd Ian go? RSS feeder Bloglines comes to the rescue:
Looks like "Emma Jones" hacked his site and turned it into a spam link dump, causing Ian to go offline until he fixes it. Here's to hoping that's sooner than later. Even though Ian updates less than I do, when he does, its comic blogging gold.
Get well soon, Ian!
EDIT: Ok, I'm an idiot. Ian Brill Blogs on here, however my current internet browser only shows a blank screen. The source shows that something is there, but I can't see it.
I know. Talk about an exciting day of blogging over here.
Wednesday, September 13, 2006
Serial Dino-Loving!
I'm just about done with this really excellent and amazing book called Mind Hunter by John Douglas. Well, who is that, you ask? He started motherfuggin' FBI profiling, you ill informed blog reader! The reading of Mind Hunter is a prerequisite for my Psychology Class that our teacher, Mrs. Something Or Other, decided we need to learn about the warped minds of serial killers as taught by John Douglas. And Mr. Douglas, you have taught me well.So well, that I already have half of my friends pegged for potential rapists, murderors, and perverts. Yes, its true. I grew up with a couple of demented fucks that are one "stressor" away from being the next Monte Rissell. Hell, put me into an small, crappy apartment that I would share with a girlfriend that I am unhappy with and surprise me with some kind of financial crisis right around Christmas time, and I too could make it into the minor league of serial killing psychopaths. Its just that simple! Considering the history of failed relationships that has brought untold amounts of mysoginistic hate and crippling grief coupled with the fact that I'm a financial loser, its a wonder I haven't freaked at all! The day I buy a VW bus, run for the hills! In all seriousness, I might be considered one of the better off, more well adjusted of my group of friends. And really, that's just all kinds of wrong.
Thank you, John Douglas, for pointing these facts out to me. Your book is awesome, even if you have me convinced that I'm 3 steps away from going psycho. Imagine what would have happened if I got the book on Autism instead?
Time for some completely unrelated philosophical Dino-Humor!
Crisis On Dino Earth!
My dino-heart empathsizes, T-Rex...
Take that, Feminism!
Choose your own adventure! Part Dos!
I think I'm sorta gay for that big ol' T-Rex...
Tuesday, September 12, 2006
This On-Again, Off-Again business is fuckin' with my heart
I've done yet another horrible thing. Yes, you remember the last time I did something horrible? It was along the lines of
I
HAVE
DECIDED
THAT I NEED TO
PICK UP EVERY
CIVIL WAR
TIE-IN
which really wasn't that bad of a choice, considering that Heroes For Hire was pretty entertaining and I have rediscovered my love for all things Fabian Nicieza. The only bad thing about that decision was anything with JMS's name on it. However, the horrible thing I have done this time is not
I
HAVE
DECIDED
THAT I NEED TO
PICK UP EVERY
CIVIL WAR
TIE-IN
or even anywhere along the lines. What I have done is pretty much in the realm of:
I
HAVE
STOPPED
BUYING
COMICS
I know, I know, that's almost like saying
I
AM
COMPLETELY
CRAZY
Ok, now I'm starting to sound like Chris Sims. But anyhoo... I have made this decision based upon the fact that there things out there that I want to possess or need to pay off, including(but not limited to) a new guitar amp, the band van, a root canal I under went whilst uninsured, and maybe some Henna tattoos, and god damn it, how am I going to have money for things like this when I'm dropping 2.95 to 4.95 a pop on comic books? Its not going to happen! I tried cutting back my pull list, but it just manages to morph back into the monster that it currently is. So that's it. I'm done. I'm out. Next time you see me with a comic, it'll be all beat up and on loan from the Library. When my friend Tony told me about the American Flagg trade he just got from the Library, I realized that the solution to being an active CONSUMER was becoming an active BORROWER. Let's not forget that my good friend Ryan still buys way too many comics and trades on the weekly basis so I'll be pillaging his collection on the irregular basis.
In light of these recent developments, the real question must be asked: What of the comic book blogging? Will somebody PLEASE think about the comic book blogging? I've never been all that good, and when I was, it involved me getting molested by a Flash comic. At this point, you're already used to the infrequency and lack of real content, so we'll just go from "dude that you call every now and then to hang out" to "dude you occassionally see around at the local bar with some tramp on his arm." It'll be nice when we run into each other, but really, I'm just another dude with a 'tude that you probably need crashing on your floor at 3:30 in the morning. Its for your own good.
HAVE
DECIDED
THAT I NEED TO
PICK UP EVERY
CIVIL WAR
TIE-IN
which really wasn't that bad of a choice, considering that Heroes For Hire was pretty entertaining and I have rediscovered my love for all things Fabian Nicieza. The only bad thing about that decision was anything with JMS's name on it. However, the horrible thing I have done this time is not
HAVE
DECIDED
THAT I NEED TO
PICK UP EVERY
CIVIL WAR
TIE-IN
or even anywhere along the lines. What I have done is pretty much in the realm of:
HAVE
STOPPED
BUYING
COMICS
I know, I know, that's almost like saying
AM
COMPLETELY
CRAZY
Ok, now I'm starting to sound like Chris Sims. But anyhoo... I have made this decision based upon the fact that there things out there that I want to possess or need to pay off, including(but not limited to) a new guitar amp, the band van, a root canal I under went whilst uninsured, and maybe some Henna tattoos, and god damn it, how am I going to have money for things like this when I'm dropping 2.95 to 4.95 a pop on comic books? Its not going to happen! I tried cutting back my pull list, but it just manages to morph back into the monster that it currently is. So that's it. I'm done. I'm out. Next time you see me with a comic, it'll be all beat up and on loan from the Library. When my friend Tony told me about the American Flagg trade he just got from the Library, I realized that the solution to being an active CONSUMER was becoming an active BORROWER. Let's not forget that my good friend Ryan still buys way too many comics and trades on the weekly basis so I'll be pillaging his collection on the irregular basis.
In light of these recent developments, the real question must be asked: What of the comic book blogging? Will somebody PLEASE think about the comic book blogging? I've never been all that good, and when I was, it involved me getting molested by a Flash comic. At this point, you're already used to the infrequency and lack of real content, so we'll just go from "dude that you call every now and then to hang out" to "dude you occassionally see around at the local bar with some tramp on his arm." It'll be nice when we run into each other, but really, I'm just another dude with a 'tude that you probably need crashing on your floor at 3:30 in the morning. Its for your own good.
Yes, they've fixed that whole Dragonhead incident, just before I could proposition TPop CS Rep with cyber-sexiness. Now I gotta troll chat rooms like everybody else. Weak. Ok, so I'm not completely GONE from buying comics. I just might stop at Borders or the LCS and pick up a thing or two every now and then, that's it!
Are you not listening to the Annuals yet? Because you're crazy if you're not. I mean, they're called the Annuals. That's just nerdical enough for you all to jump on it for its name alone. The full length album drops on October 18th. Get in the know, bro!
One last thing to all y'all: Chill out. They're just comics. Joe Quesada is an idiot, yes, but really, do we even care because we care or do we care because it gives us things to complain about and that's what really makes us tick, complaining about comics? Sorry, but your bitching is getting in the way of my comic blog enjoyment.
I will shut up now.
Tuesday, September 05, 2006
Is reading The Invisibles at your cubicle at work, grounds for sexual harassment?
Ok, so there is no post about Spider-man as the everyday hero and why you're not escaping hard enough simply because I can't be hassled to scan a bunch of pictures from the Longshot trade. Yes, that's what the post was about; Longshot. Basically, it was going to espouse upon the action movie hero X-man with luck powers that was dug by all the chicks and looked like David Bowie from The Labryinth. It was light and fun and full of sarcasm, but all in all, a colossal waste of time when it comes to scanning. Reading the trade was a waste of time as well. Talking about it now? Wasting my time.
You know what is really, really good that I haven't heard anyone really talking about? The Exterminators. I'm throwing my hat into the ring of people that like, no, LOVE The Exterminators. For $10 a pop, you will get 5 solid issues of grossed out weirdness that will have you remembering the hey day of Vertigo's comics. Considering this is Simon Oliver's first writing gig, its is absolutely astounding how amazing and captivating this book is. Sprinkle a lit bit of Tony Moore on top of all of it and you have one happy Spencer. Let's not forget all those other people with names that I can't remember right now for inking, coloring, lettering and editing that fine book.
Buy the book, ride it twice, and go back and pick up the monthlies. Good comics like this deserve your $. Let's not forget the podcast from those good boys over at Comic Geek Speak which really is what sold me on The Exterminators. For reasons not worth explaining, I'm in a position right now that doesn't no allow me to get the direct link to the podcast and I may even have the actual address for the Comic Geek Speak website wrong. If so, get off your lazy ass and Google it.
This might be wrong of me to say, but I didn't really enjoy the new All Star Superman all that much. It was good, it just wasn't for me. Luthor is an interesting as villians can be and Morrison and Quietly did such a bang up job on showing us what makes their Luthor tick, but something just didn't quite stick with me. I felt like I was just passing some time and yes, that double page spread with stairs was a lovely touch, reminding us all of how great Quitely and Morrison can be, however it just came down to an "Ok" issue when everything was said and done. Unlike most of the bloggers out there, I am a not a huge DC fan so maybe my genetics were at fault as why I could not appreciate it as much as the rest of you did. Then again, the first three issues(And only the first three. # 4 didn't strike me as anything astounding, simply because Jimmy Olsen didn't seem like Jimmy Olsen to me so much as he seemed like some kind of glorified nerd-turned-superstar.) were great. Maybe its a matter of just not being the best comic I read this past weekend.
What comic is that? Carey and Bachalo's X-men # 190. Yeah, that was like, um......wow. When I think about that issue, the faux-critic in me wants to say things like "hyper-kinetic", "visually striking", "alluringly compelling", and "this is how X-men comics should be: uber explosively good." Marvel, you can write that on the back of the trade dress if you want, just so long as you credit it to the "Redheaded Adonis." Its a motley bunch of X-characters running around, either beating up or getting beat on, and quite frankly, that's how it should be. The mysterious villian that we know only that "is neither human nor mutant" is a tired bit, but impressions on that can definitely change once we find out more.
Of all three X-men books out there right now, Mike Carey is on the top. Brubaker's X-men has promise, but is starting to look like a glove that doesn't quite fit. And Whedon's run is so completely mired in nostalgia that its almost masturbatory, with only the parts involving S.W.O.R.D. standing out. If only Carey would stay, but it wouldn't be an X-men book if there already was changings in the wind such...
And are those rumors of there going to be only two X-men team books with Millar and Brubaker at the helm true at all? Speaking of which, who is/are the new X-men editor(s)? Could it be the same two writers? Let's just hope they put Bachalo on a decent book when they cancel his title.
While you're contemplating that last little bit of possible rumor mongering, go listen to some Annuals. The track "Brother" will rock your face off.
Friday, September 01, 2006
A post where many things are talked about, but nothing is really said at all
Awhile back we spoke and I was going on about how I was going to be out of commission for awhile and that you could find me interrupting any and all conversation about about man-hating over at Ragnell's Written World by espousing upon the wonder of Power Girl's biggems in manner like such:
First off, I can blog. Last time I posted, I was under the impression that the jobbie job had managed to curtail it and decided to lament that loss by posting a picture of Speedball's cat. A few days latter, I found me a workaround and my semi-hilarious hi jinxs could continue. Whilst working up a post about the Mad Thinker's appearance in New Warriors # 3, I discovered I can't post pictures. And really, what's a blog post without pictures? That's like a comic without word balloons! GI Joe # 21 I am not. The homefront sports Dial Up which I've been working on fixing for quite some time, but I put a hippy in charge of that months ago and we're STILL waiting 5 minutes to get a dial tone.
Now that I can blog, what is there to blog about? Ah, the eternal question. Some would(and have) said, "blog about what you love!" however my feelings are a promiscuious mistress with many lovers to its bosom that if we were oblige them all, it would be a blog about ADD. Then again, that's not really all that different from the format, now is it. Some of the subjects that have crossed my mind as of late are really just fanfic in nature and really, what is fanfic if it doesn't involve some slash in there some where. Why bore you with my ramblings of why we need to cut the crap with all this temporally displaced mutants still hanging around the X-Universe and how these characters from the far flung future are still tying us to the past, making it hard for us as X-men readers to move on, if that fanficish rambling doesn't involve some mutant-on-mutant love between Cable and Bishop? And I don't know if I have those kind of stones for that. Hear, let's give it a shot:
I'm sorry folks, but I can't write that Bishop and Cable slash. And what I can write, which amounts to nothing more than a 4 issue pitch about how we finally can rid of Cable, Bishop, and Rachel Summers for once and for all(don't worry, one of them lives on in the Exiles, jumping from What If? to What If?) and move on, you don't want to read it. You need to get your perv on somewhere else.
The other things that I want to blog about require my amateurish photoshop skills and right now, I'm either too lazy or too busy. U Decide!
I'm a blogging mess right now, but onward and upward we go!
Whose pissed about Dragon Head going online exclusive!? Well, who isn't really.....but whose ALSO pissed? Me, I guess, but not really, but yeah I kind of am. Purchasing them online isn't THAT big of a hassle. And it really is ok that my money is not going to my local comic book shop. Its quite alright that I get to miss out on that little bit of conversation that I have with the local comic shop over the new Dragon Head, a book THEY turned me on to. Maybe Tokyo Pop has a customer service Bot that can hopefully supplement the whole process that goes into buying Dragon Head:
Despite all that bitching, Yes, I'll still buy Dragon Head online, because DUDE, THEY'RE ON THE SURFACE AND EVERYTHING IS CRAZY!!!?!
The Spider Jerusalem Award for the best blurb in journalism. I'm sure this was linked somewhere, probably on Warren Ellis's home page, but I don't want to get fired from my job, so I don't check his page out all that much. Oh, and I'm still a little pissed about your high and mighty Apparat line that didn't do much for generating interest in non-superhero comics other than you just complaining the same old complaint we've all heard before. Yes, it sucks that Nurse comics used to be all the rage way back when, but writing an essay about it in the back of your 4 crime/action/cellphone-diatribe-comics doesn't really do much for trying to change the fact that Nurse comics aren't all the rage today.
Speaking of technology, everyone needs to stop saying "Internets" when you're referring to the Internet. Its not funny nor clever and really, you sound like my dad trying to say "nizzle" except you don't look like Robin Williams.
How have you been spending your Civil War Ceasefire?
Sure, there's the few tie-in books coming out which aren't all that bad, but really, tie-in or no, there's a whole in your heart that can only be filled by Civil War # 4. How have you filled it?
Me, I went back and reread Street Angel. Wow. That is one fine piece of comic book goodness. Its got everything! Ninja Revisionist History! Skateboarding! Globe Dominating Mad Scientists! Blaxploitation! Dumpster Diving! An eating contest between a squid and a 12 year old kid! My favorite was when the scene in issue one where she takes out all the ninjas on the top floor of Dr. Pangea's lair only to finish the scene up with a panel of Street Angel standing over the dead bodies, thinking "Where's my shoe?" Take what is a staple in action comics of the lone, triumphant warrior, bloodied and bruised, but not beaten, standing over a cadre of dead *insert your favorite henchmen type here* and turn it on its head by adding that little thought balloon.....pure genius. Street Angel is a comic that will have your co-workers looking at you sideways with your answer to their "So what are you reading?" question.
Also, I just read the Dark Phoenix saga in TPB form. As a dedicated Marvel fan, its almost sacrilege that I have never sat myself down and read this piece of Marvel History. Most of what I know about the Marvel U comes from roleplaying. Pouring over sourcebooks, rule manuals and OHTMU styled character books has provided me with a lot of second hand knowledge. Over the years, I've put faces to names and climatic battles to character history texts. Now I understand fully the importance of the Phoenix and what she did to the X-men. I knew Jean Grey had some crazy ass powers and even read the subsequent reappearance of the Phoenix as of late. I understand how powerful her Shift Y flight is and how far across the universe it can take her, but I never quite witnessed until I saw her open up a space warp with sheer will power alone. The humanity of the situation was known to me, but I never felt it until I saw the Recorder seeking some kind of answers from the Watcher as to the nature of the moral dilemma the X-men faced in those final moments.
In essence, I am complete.
Oh, I finally read Animal Man: Origin Of The Species and Flex Mentallo too. The first was good, but no where are good as Flex. Yeah, that was fantastic. Thanks for making me feel stupid for reading super hero comics, Grant, ya big jerk!
Other than that, I'm a little spent. If we're lucky, we'll get a little posting on this weekend that debunks that whole "Spider-man is the everyman hero that allows me to escape from the horrors of the world by pretending I'm him with his problems AND his powers" myth. Essentially, you're not escaping hard enough.
"Y'all should be lucky we let you have big boobs in our little boys club!"However, there's been little penis envy(Just kidding!) over there as of late, so I figured I'd get my run-on sentence.......on.
First off, I can blog. Last time I posted, I was under the impression that the jobbie job had managed to curtail it and decided to lament that loss by posting a picture of Speedball's cat. A few days latter, I found me a workaround and my semi-hilarious hi jinxs could continue. Whilst working up a post about the Mad Thinker's appearance in New Warriors # 3, I discovered I can't post pictures. And really, what's a blog post without pictures? That's like a comic without word balloons! GI Joe # 21 I am not. The homefront sports Dial Up which I've been working on fixing for quite some time, but I put a hippy in charge of that months ago and we're STILL waiting 5 minutes to get a dial tone.
Now that I can blog, what is there to blog about? Ah, the eternal question. Some would(and have) said, "blog about what you love!" however my feelings are a promiscuious mistress with many lovers to its bosom that if we were oblige them all, it would be a blog about ADD. Then again, that's not really all that different from the format, now is it. Some of the subjects that have crossed my mind as of late are really just fanfic in nature and really, what is fanfic if it doesn't involve some slash in there some where. Why bore you with my ramblings of why we need to cut the crap with all this temporally displaced mutants still hanging around the X-Universe and how these characters from the far flung future are still tying us to the past, making it hard for us as X-men readers to move on, if that fanficish rambling doesn't involve some mutant-on-mutant love between Cable and Bishop? And I don't know if I have those kind of stones for that. Hear, let's give it a shot:
"It just so hard sometimes," Cable said with a soft tear coming down from his one remaining human eye. Looking at the picture of his father, Scott Summers, with the women who his own mother was cloned from, Jean Grey, together on their wedding day was heart wrenching. From a war torn future that may come to be, Nathan Summers had endured many injuries in his life time. The scars remained, but what of those injuries of which would never heal? What of his own broken heart? "Being from the future, its almost as if I'm not allowed to cry. I'm not allowed to show my emotions. Almost as if they've been outlawed much like mutants have in The Days Of Future Past."See? Don't you want more? Reading Cable and Bishop slash is like cyber jocking in the not-so-distant future! You get so addicted that you can't unplug and when you do, its only because there's an AI that's taken a liking that strange and fascinating piece of data that some punk traded to you for some good ICE and the AI's goons are at your door and its time to RUN, RUN, RUN. All idiotic metaphors aside, how could I turn down the responsibility that has been thrust into my hands?
"Don't worry, my temporarily displaced friend," Bishop said as he clutched Cable's shoulder pad. "Although we come from a time much more complicated than the one we live in now, where we battled day in and day out, its still ok for us to cry from time to time. No one understands the lives we have lived but you and I, Cable."
"I'm a raging ball of mutant emotion..." Cable whimpered as he turned and hugged his fellow X-man.
"Its ok, Askani-son" said Bishop as he embraced his fellow X-men. "Let me absorb your sadness."
I'm sorry folks, but I can't write that Bishop and Cable slash. And what I can write, which amounts to nothing more than a 4 issue pitch about how we finally can rid of Cable, Bishop, and Rachel Summers for once and for all(don't worry, one of them lives on in the Exiles, jumping from What If? to What If?) and move on, you don't want to read it. You need to get your perv on somewhere else.
The other things that I want to blog about require my amateurish photoshop skills and right now, I'm either too lazy or too busy. U Decide!
I'm a blogging mess right now, but onward and upward we go!
Whose pissed about Dragon Head going online exclusive!? Well, who isn't really.....but whose ALSO pissed? Me, I guess, but not really, but yeah I kind of am. Purchasing them online isn't THAT big of a hassle. And it really is ok that my money is not going to my local comic book shop. Its quite alright that I get to miss out on that little bit of conversation that I have with the local comic shop over the new Dragon Head, a book THEY turned me on to. Maybe Tokyo Pop has a customer service Bot that can hopefully supplement the whole process that goes into buying Dragon Head:
SpencerDidYrMom: What's up, man. How you doing?As awesome as that sounds, it will never compare to the time when my favorite LCS Employee, Darron, accidentally slipped up and called me a "homo" instead of "homeboy" in front of his boss and two lesbians. Sorry, Tokyo Pop, but this one gets a thumbs DOWN from me.
TPop CS Rep: I'M GREAT, THANK YOU FOR ASKING. HOW MAY I ASSIST YOU TODAY?
SpencerDidYrMom: The new Dragon Head is out? Hells yeah, bro. I want it!
TPop CS Rep: THAT'LL BE $9.95 PLUS $1.95 FOR SHIPPING AND HANDLING. IS THERE ANYTHING ELSE I CAN HELP YOU WITH TODAY?
SpencerDidYrMom: Nah, I'm kewl, I guess. Did you hear about what Mark Millar said this week on his message board? Talk about lame.
TPop CS Rep: GLAD YOU ENJOYED YOUR PURCHASE. IS THERE ANYTHING ELSE I CAN HELP YOU WITH TODAY?
SpencerDidYrMom: You don't have that Exterminators do you?
TPop CS Rep: WOULD YOU LIKE ME TO RECOMMEND SOME OF OUR OTHER TITLES? MAYBE SORCEROR HUNTERS? OR HOW ABOUT NECK AND NECK? I HEAR ITS QUITE GOOD.
SpencerDidYrMom: Hey, wait a second. This isn't a comic shop. Why am I talking to a smarty-arty computer that thinks its a person? I hate smarty-arty computers that think they're people!
TPop CS Rep: IS THERE ANYTHING ELSE I CAN HELP YOU WITH TODAY?
SpencerDidYrMom: Can you provide me with intimate knowledge of your products in addition to the witty banter that I come to expect from local comic shop?
TPop CS Rep: GLAD YOU ENJOYED YOUR PURCHASE. IS THERE ANYTHING ELSE I CAN HELP YOU WITH TODAY?
SpencerDidYrMom signed off
TPop CS Rep: THANK YOU AND HAVE A GREAT DAY :)
Despite all that bitching, Yes, I'll still buy Dragon Head online, because DUDE, THEY'RE ON THE SURFACE AND EVERYTHING IS CRAZY!!!?!
The Spider Jerusalem Award for the best blurb in journalism. I'm sure this was linked somewhere, probably on Warren Ellis's home page, but I don't want to get fired from my job, so I don't check his page out all that much. Oh, and I'm still a little pissed about your high and mighty Apparat line that didn't do much for generating interest in non-superhero comics other than you just complaining the same old complaint we've all heard before. Yes, it sucks that Nurse comics used to be all the rage way back when, but writing an essay about it in the back of your 4 crime/action/cellphone-diatribe-comics doesn't really do much for trying to change the fact that Nurse comics aren't all the rage today.
Speaking of technology, everyone needs to stop saying "Internets" when you're referring to the Internet. Its not funny nor clever and really, you sound like my dad trying to say "nizzle" except you don't look like Robin Williams.
How have you been spending your Civil War Ceasefire?
Sure, there's the few tie-in books coming out which aren't all that bad, but really, tie-in or no, there's a whole in your heart that can only be filled by Civil War # 4. How have you filled it?
Me, I went back and reread Street Angel. Wow. That is one fine piece of comic book goodness. Its got everything! Ninja Revisionist History! Skateboarding! Globe Dominating Mad Scientists! Blaxploitation! Dumpster Diving! An eating contest between a squid and a 12 year old kid! My favorite was when the scene in issue one where she takes out all the ninjas on the top floor of Dr. Pangea's lair only to finish the scene up with a panel of Street Angel standing over the dead bodies, thinking "Where's my shoe?" Take what is a staple in action comics of the lone, triumphant warrior, bloodied and bruised, but not beaten, standing over a cadre of dead *insert your favorite henchmen type here* and turn it on its head by adding that little thought balloon.....pure genius. Street Angel is a comic that will have your co-workers looking at you sideways with your answer to their "So what are you reading?" question.
Also, I just read the Dark Phoenix saga in TPB form. As a dedicated Marvel fan, its almost sacrilege that I have never sat myself down and read this piece of Marvel History. Most of what I know about the Marvel U comes from roleplaying. Pouring over sourcebooks, rule manuals and OHTMU styled character books has provided me with a lot of second hand knowledge. Over the years, I've put faces to names and climatic battles to character history texts. Now I understand fully the importance of the Phoenix and what she did to the X-men. I knew Jean Grey had some crazy ass powers and even read the subsequent reappearance of the Phoenix as of late. I understand how powerful her Shift Y flight is and how far across the universe it can take her, but I never quite witnessed until I saw her open up a space warp with sheer will power alone. The humanity of the situation was known to me, but I never felt it until I saw the Recorder seeking some kind of answers from the Watcher as to the nature of the moral dilemma the X-men faced in those final moments.
In essence, I am complete.
Oh, I finally read Animal Man: Origin Of The Species and Flex Mentallo too. The first was good, but no where are good as Flex. Yeah, that was fantastic. Thanks for making me feel stupid for reading super hero comics, Grant, ya big jerk!
Other than that, I'm a little spent. If we're lucky, we'll get a little posting on this weekend that debunks that whole "Spider-man is the everyman hero that allows me to escape from the horrors of the world by pretending I'm him with his problems AND his powers" myth. Essentially, you're not escaping hard enough.
Tuesday, August 15, 2006
Say It Ain't So!
Yes, you are correct. Those are the X-babes having a collective panic attack when they heard that my semi-posting has been cut down to virtually nil posting, for reasons beyond my control. Don't worry, foxy x-ladies, Spencediggity will be back, full force, and he's bringing the New Warriors with them. Yes, the REAL New Warriors.
In the meantime, the rest of you check out Speedball's cat. The idea of a cat with the same powers of Speedball should be enough for you all to ponder in hopefully not too long of an absence.
Look for me in the comments section of Written World, defending my love of Powergirl's ( . )( . ) against the forces of Evil.
BBL ! ! !
Monday, August 07, 2006
Because You Demanded It!
Spencer Carnage takes you into the not too distant future to show you....
Black Panther # 102!
Black Panther proposes his strict, new educational reforms regarding mandated school uniforms to the Wakandan General Assembly, much to the dismay of Ororo! Wanting to use the "open hand" technique of teaching that she learned from Professor Xavier and allow the youth to wear whatever they like, Storm denounces T'Challa's proposed changes in front of the whole nation. Convinced that the Black Panther is unfit to lead, Storm challenges him to a fight for control of Wakanda! Who will win?! Who will lose?! This is the spousal argument of the century! Plus, in this issue, witness the return of Storm's punk rock mohawk that was made so popular in Uncanny X-men years ago! Spousal Abuse 1 of 12
Does making jokes about Storm and Black Panther getting into a marital feud make me a bad person?
Friday, August 04, 2006
Cable & Deadpool
I have done an awful thing. What's this thing that I speak of?
I
HAVE
DECIDED
THAT I NEED TO
PICK UP EVERY
CIVIL WAR
TIE-IN
HAVE
DECIDED
THAT I NEED TO
PICK UP EVERY
CIVIL WAR
TIE-IN
It sounds like insanity, but its not. Its actually quite fun, in both interesting and aggravating ways. In part of picking up all the Civil War tie-ins a week after issue 3 dropped, I had to go back and pick up some of the ones that I missed. However, after reading the ones that I did pick up, using the term "missed" is a stretch. Today, however we talk about one of the books from my absolutely most favoritest 90's--! writer, Fabian Nicieza..
Who the hell's that guy?! That's Fabian Nicieza, duders! He wrote New Warriors! And Nomad and X-Force and Thunderbolts and a whole crap load of other BADICAL comics!
Cable & Deadpool # 30:Holy crap. This made me laugh. Out loud. Ok, so it was more of a chuckle, but still. Deadpool & Cable are both weak excuses for comic book characters, but the Nicieza managed to make me care. Not only does Deadpool break the fourth wall, he also manages to break down comic book stereotypes at the same time. And he was created in the nineties! Madness! And Cable, well....verdict's still out but I'm starting to enjoy his vague role in this whole Civil War nonsense so much that I'm already writing out the next few paragraphs in his OHTMU entry in what I believe to be his reasons for participating in the whole shebang:
"After realizing that his purpose in life as the go-to mutant for time-displaced induced 90's--! comic book brutality was vapid and empty, Cable sought to carve a new niche in the 21st century. When he's not appearing as nostaglic Liefeld wank material for the message boarders at HeroesRealm.com, Cable is busy building his Amway Empire.
Cruising to the local 7-11 one hot summer day back in 2002 for a Cherry Coke slurpee, Nathan Dayspring Summer Askani'son was stopped by none other than Reaper, a former foe of his who used to be a member of the Mutant Liberation Front. Reaper, who had given up his ways of extreme mutant terrorism to pursue a career in network marketing, had implored Cable to join him for some lunch. Hot and wanting to go somewhere with air conditioning, Cable agreed. After 45 minutes of Reaper's best sales pitches, Cable politely declined, stating that he was looking forward to getting the X-Force back together, however that they should exchange numbers so they could hang out from time to time. Shortly there after, Cable got the old X-Force gang back together, but was unable to make it last for more than 6 issues. Not entirely sure of what the future held for this battle weary cyborg mutant, Cable took a chance and called his new friend, Reaper. Two weeks later, Cable was fully initiated into Reaper's most current network marketing scheme, selling Amway products.
After making Amway the national brand of his own country, Providence, Cable set his sights on the rest of the mutant population, using his special status in the X-universe to his advantage. Quickly converting all the Morlocks to customers with his deft salesmanship, Cable moved on his operations to Mutant Town. Known for such closers like "You know, the X-men use Amway..." and "I've seen the days of Future Past and lemme tell ya....everyone's using this stuff," Cable's break into the previously untapped mutant market was astonishing. Tough and tenacious, Cable's fortune and popularity grew so much that Marvel had no choice but to put him into another on-going comic book series featuring the loud mouthed assassin, Deadpool. Everything was going just great for Cable, that is, until M-Day.
With 98.999938939% of his clientele reduced to regular humans, Cable's stellar closers no longer held any weight with his current marketplace. With anti-mutant sentiment as high as it was, Cable decided against trying to sell to normal humans and instead turned his focus towards the non-mutant super heroes of the Marvel U. With over 4500 customers to choose from, Cable found his new demographic, if only he could just find a way to penetrate it...
Enter Civil War.
With the likes of Iron Man, She-Hulk, Mr. Fantastic and the Iron-Spider on your tail, with the entire S.H.I.E.L.D. Army backing them up, renegade super heroes havevery little time to visit places like Costco or Wal-mart. Using his experience in battle tactics, Cable quickly came to the aid of the "Secret Avengers" providing them with everything and anything they could need. At the same time, he used his "I'm from the future" schtick, and convinced Tony Stark, an openly known futurist, that Stark, Intl investment in Amway was a "great choice" and applauded Tony on his "foresight" when he placed his first order for 2.4 billion dollars. Cable was the # 1 Amway salesmans in the whole World. The victory was short lived, though. 3 days after his order with Stark, International, Cable was caught doing business with the "Secret Avengers" during a raid by Iron Man's "Mighty Avengers," causing him to lose what was considered the "biggest fish" in Amway history. In addition to the loss of Iron Man's business, several of his anti-registration clients were captured and placed into protective S.H.I.E.L.D. custody. Just as quickly as it happened, Cable was back to scraping the bottom of the barrel.
He has recently taken up residence in the X-mansion, hoping to turn some of those 198 mutants refugees into valuable customers. Cable is currently ranked # 37182 in terms of Amway Sales.
None of that happens in Cable & Deadpool # 30, just in case you're wondering, but it was still a pretty damn enjoyable comic.
Friday, July 14, 2006
Thursday, July 13, 2006
And Spencer's unofficial "NON-SUPERHERO COMICS" WEEK that might possible turn into a MONTH, 2 MONTHS, 5 MONTHS and 3 WEEKS, or Heaven forbid, the rest of his LIFE, continues on. That's right. Its theme week slash month slash whatever here in Spencer D's neck of the woods and we're talking about the "100% AUTHENTIC MANGA" BLAME!, you round eye Douchy McDouchersens!
My original encounter with Nihei's BLAME! was from reading a Blade Of The Immortal fan site that had scanned some pages from a Japanese edition of a BLAME! manga. Super nerd Spencer kicked in and I bought the Japanese version a few many years ago. The art was pretty, I had to get it. Anyways, a trip to Borders one day and lo and behold, they finally released an English edition. Cool beans!
Set in the far flung future, BLAME! chronicles the adventure of "Killy" as he ventures in some kind of cyber dungeon that goes on for miles and miles and miles, searching for clean genetic material. Or something. Starting out, Killy is on the tail end of one of his missions, in which he disposes of techno-organic looking baddies that try and steal his unsoiled genetic loot. 20 some odd gun shot induced explosions later and Killy has secured the specimen and is waiting for someone to fetch it. Once he unloads the clean genes, he is sent on another mission for more untainted chromosomes.
And we're off!
This is how BLAME! does its thing. This is how we get the character in brutal fight scenes with bio-mechanical cyber sci-fi wank off robo fighters that try and step only to get blows upped. We only learn more about this dystopia dungeon world that Killy roams when he accidentally stumbles into the chaotics lives of random characters, providing our sullen lead(and us) with some answers with what the hell is going on. When the answers don't come so easy, we find that our curiosity is diverted with gun play and creepy robot machines. Killy's interaction with others is limited and short, leaving only enough time for these bit part cast members to explain either their dire situation for Killy to resolve or their contempt for Killy's presence. Regardless of their place in the story, they all end up cannon fodder in cyber dungeon's attempt to off Killy.
Good luck with that, mechanoid bitches! Killy's got a tiny gun that will blow you and the wall behind you to mother fucking BITZ! Yes, we all know Killy is a lame name. Let's move on, shall we?
Having finally read the English translated man years after my initial introduction to BLAME!, its somewhat of a let down. The most interesting premise of the story is the fact that my curiosity is being scratch like a cat on a lazy sunday. The art, which was my reason for liking BLAME! in the first place, is still amateurish in some spots. A good number of illustrations permeate the manga, but there are times, whether its action scene that doesn't flow well or a set up that's drawn in confuso-vision, Nihei still has some work to do. However, when its good, its good.
Will I buy the next volume? Of course. With my curiosity that had been hungering for WTF BLAME! was all about for so long, I gotta stay on board. At $9.99 a pop, that's a bargain that my mother would chew me out for passing up. This one's for you, Ma!
My original encounter with Nihei's BLAME! was from reading a Blade Of The Immortal fan site that had scanned some pages from a Japanese edition of a BLAME! manga. Super nerd Spencer kicked in and I bought the Japanese version a few many years ago. The art was pretty, I had to get it. Anyways, a trip to Borders one day and lo and behold, they finally released an English edition. Cool beans!
Set in the far flung future, BLAME! chronicles the adventure of "Killy" as he ventures in some kind of cyber dungeon that goes on for miles and miles and miles, searching for clean genetic material. Or something. Starting out, Killy is on the tail end of one of his missions, in which he disposes of techno-organic looking baddies that try and steal his unsoiled genetic loot. 20 some odd gun shot induced explosions later and Killy has secured the specimen and is waiting for someone to fetch it. Once he unloads the clean genes, he is sent on another mission for more untainted chromosomes.
And we're off!
This is how BLAME! does its thing. This is how we get the character in brutal fight scenes with bio-mechanical cyber sci-fi wank off robo fighters that try and step only to get blows upped. We only learn more about this dystopia dungeon world that Killy roams when he accidentally stumbles into the chaotics lives of random characters, providing our sullen lead(and us) with some answers with what the hell is going on. When the answers don't come so easy, we find that our curiosity is diverted with gun play and creepy robot machines. Killy's interaction with others is limited and short, leaving only enough time for these bit part cast members to explain either their dire situation for Killy to resolve or their contempt for Killy's presence. Regardless of their place in the story, they all end up cannon fodder in cyber dungeon's attempt to off Killy.
Good luck with that, mechanoid bitches! Killy's got a tiny gun that will blow you and the wall behind you to mother fucking BITZ! Yes, we all know Killy is a lame name. Let's move on, shall we?
Having finally read the English translated man years after my initial introduction to BLAME!, its somewhat of a let down. The most interesting premise of the story is the fact that my curiosity is being scratch like a cat on a lazy sunday. The art, which was my reason for liking BLAME! in the first place, is still amateurish in some spots. A good number of illustrations permeate the manga, but there are times, whether its action scene that doesn't flow well or a set up that's drawn in confuso-vision, Nihei still has some work to do. However, when its good, its good.
Will I buy the next volume? Of course. With my curiosity that had been hungering for WTF BLAME! was all about for so long, I gotta stay on board. At $9.99 a pop, that's a bargain that my mother would chew me out for passing up. This one's for you, Ma!
PS: There was going to be a picture of the book up in the top but Blogger sucks so boycott Google until they return my picture sharing ability. Thanks!
Tuesday, July 11, 2006
For today's post, we pick apart the new-ISH MOME anthology from Fantagraphics Books, MOME 3:Winter 2006. I know what you're already thinking, that you're all ready to start ranting and raving about how I need to finish my posting about the New Warriors and what not. I know. Don't worry, pretty soon we'll have New Warriors MONTH and this place will feel like the rest of the internet comic book blogosphere with all kinds of clever wit and delicious ironic-tinted nostalgia. Trust me, it'll happen. But TODAY. Today we talk artsy fartsy and its most likely not going to be pretty. Ready?
Yeah. Fucking MOME, bitches. Its a whole lot of indie for your buck. 15 bucks to be exact, unless you're lucky like me and you picked it up in the half off graphic novel bin at my LCS. Yes, that feeling in your heart is the emptiness you never knew you had until you heard the words "half off graphic novel bin at my LCS." Although not the glorious of bargain selection, it has offered up some pretty nice gems from time to time. If you want, I can snag you a copy of GI Joe: Ninja Classified Warfare Cobra Killers. Just call "dibbs," and its yours.
But yes, MOME. Call me a new fan of the format. I've read a few anthologies, the last ones being Sexy Chix and Four Letter Worlds from Image(or is it Four Letter Words? Thinking too hard about things like this make me dizzy and cause wrinkles.) and they are, for the most part, interesting. Entertaining some of the time, interesting the more of the time. Not my most favorite format when it comes to reading comics, however, you are all a smart bunch so I won't bore you with my obvious observations on the nature of anthologies when there's other things to bore you with, like....
Opening and closing the book is Martin Cendreda's Matthew And Buster. Think of your newspaper gag strip were the main character says something so funny and/or mean spirited to someone else, causing them to fall over, faint, have their head explode, or have clouds of squiggly lines to form above their head in frustration or anger or general upsetness. Take those 3 or 4 panels, stretch them out for about 8 or 9, and then have two dogs that smoke and swear making this comments that cause everyone else to, you know, bug out. In this case, be launched backwards from their seat or standing position in a 45 degree angle "zip." Oh, and make sure its not funny because this is indie comics.
Next is David B's Armed Garden. A little French comic that is seeing english translation for the first time so you're feeling a little special, yet a little bit of anger creeps in too because the French called us a bunch of jerks for trying to war up on the rest of the globe. Whatever, France. You're just pissed because your government is totally, completely failing at being a Western Power with big balls to tote around for all to see and stuff. PLUS, we got that whole Revolution thing over and done with THE FIRST FRAGGING TIME AROUND. Jealous, a little? Probably.
France rant out of the way, David B's Armed Garden is really good. Its got all kinds of religious war and naked people running around that you forget for a moment that you're a bigoted American and enjoy the brown hued world of medieval craziness that David B has conjured up. And the picture of the Pope John ^^III getting his murder/sodomy/simony on? My next tattoo.
Did I mention there's a goose in there? He acts as the guide for our protagonist Jan Zuska who is in charge of disposing the nakedly insane Rohan and his cadre of naked followers, leading Jan Zuska down the roads of Creation to Paradise. Without the Goose, Jan Zuska would have fallen victim to the fake Sun that Rohan becomes. And when Jan Zuska gets greedy and wants to take a look at the Origin of Creation, Goose is all "told you so, bitch" when Chaos forms in Jan Zuska's one good eye, causing him to be blind. I love me some ducks and gooses.
Then comes Anders Nilsen On Whaling. Two pages and your weak ass humor is lost on all of us. Sorry, bro, but this fish ain't biting.
J. Bennet's Roll of Film is decent, however I feel that I must be some kind of photograph taking artiste in order for me say "oh, man, I know this guy or girl that is totally like that, taking pictures of every mundane thing they see with the hopes of adding some level of importance to their miserable little lifes, unlike myself who only takes tasteful nudes." That or you're the person saying "Fuck you, J. Bennett, you hack" because he called you out. I'm really neither, but I get it enough to appreciate what he's getting at.
And then comes Cher Shimura from R. Kikuo Johnson(of Nightfisher infamy) which really is the best of the whole book. Six 4 to 5 panel strips detailing the non-existing love life of Cher Shimura as she nervously goes from hopelessly in love to heartbreak in the span of seconds, all unbeknownest to her object of desire. There's really not much to say about it other than its a very simple collection of strips that really made me laugh, especially when Cher mocks the object of desire's girlfriend.
"'I love Grapes.' -Ha ha!- Slut."
You have to read it, I guess.
Overpeck, part 3, by David Healey starts to go down the idiotic path of nonsense of Martin Cendreda's Matthew And Buster with two juvenile boys playing with their juvenile toys and what not. One of them eventually calls the other a "faggot" for crossing some kind of imaginary Maginot line of young boy masculinity and ho hum, boring. Only when the "faggot" is kidnapped by some old lady that can turn into a wolf, does the jewel of the story show itself. Thrown into the machinations of the old lady's mind, the history of her sexual abuse and subsequent perversion comes out as a means of justifying her reasons for kidnapping the little boy. It entertains in the way that Gummo entertains. Its scary because Healey's talking some real life messed up stuff. However, that ends very quickly and we're back to nonsense involving naked girls, weird crippled shut in boys, and, uh.....stuff. Its only part 3, so maybe we're getting somewhere that will help us make sense of the rest of this mess.
Odd Petal Out. Kurt Wolfgang captures that 15 year old burgeoning romance like zang. The art's good and the crack about older kids dissing on the younger kids' taste in music is standard issue experience in the life of little punk/indie rock kids growing up. No would-be elitist snob should be without it.
We'll also include Wolfgang's one page Toughskins '77 strip, which basically cements the fact that Wolfgang pretty much has that whole growing up thing nailed down. Kids crying about stuff can always be solved by blowing things up. Yep.
I haven't read the interview with Kurt Wolfgang, but I'm sure its good.
The rest of MOME 3: Winter 2006 just kind of ho hum's its way to finish. Capt. Ayres is historically comics for historical folks. Interesting. Mike's Cafe is excessive auto bio stuff that I'm ok without. And Jeffrey Brown? More of the same, just worst. Sorry, but that's how I feel.
And that's MOME 3: Winter 2006!
*round of applause*
Yeah. Fucking MOME, bitches. Its a whole lot of indie for your buck. 15 bucks to be exact, unless you're lucky like me and you picked it up in the half off graphic novel bin at my LCS. Yes, that feeling in your heart is the emptiness you never knew you had until you heard the words "half off graphic novel bin at my LCS." Although not the glorious of bargain selection, it has offered up some pretty nice gems from time to time. If you want, I can snag you a copy of GI Joe: Ninja Classified Warfare Cobra Killers. Just call "dibbs," and its yours. But yes, MOME. Call me a new fan of the format. I've read a few anthologies, the last ones being Sexy Chix and Four Letter Worlds from Image(or is it Four Letter Words? Thinking too hard about things like this make me dizzy and cause wrinkles.) and they are, for the most part, interesting. Entertaining some of the time, interesting the more of the time. Not my most favorite format when it comes to reading comics, however, you are all a smart bunch so I won't bore you with my obvious observations on the nature of anthologies when there's other things to bore you with, like....
Opening and closing the book is Martin Cendreda's Matthew And Buster. Think of your newspaper gag strip were the main character says something so funny and/or mean spirited to someone else, causing them to fall over, faint, have their head explode, or have clouds of squiggly lines to form above their head in frustration or anger or general upsetness. Take those 3 or 4 panels, stretch them out for about 8 or 9, and then have two dogs that smoke and swear making this comments that cause everyone else to, you know, bug out. In this case, be launched backwards from their seat or standing position in a 45 degree angle "zip." Oh, and make sure its not funny because this is indie comics.
Next is David B's Armed Garden. A little French comic that is seeing english translation for the first time so you're feeling a little special, yet a little bit of anger creeps in too because the French called us a bunch of jerks for trying to war up on the rest of the globe. Whatever, France. You're just pissed because your government is totally, completely failing at being a Western Power with big balls to tote around for all to see and stuff. PLUS, we got that whole Revolution thing over and done with THE FIRST FRAGGING TIME AROUND. Jealous, a little? Probably.
France rant out of the way, David B's Armed Garden is really good. Its got all kinds of religious war and naked people running around that you forget for a moment that you're a bigoted American and enjoy the brown hued world of medieval craziness that David B has conjured up. And the picture of the Pope John ^^III getting his murder/sodomy/simony on? My next tattoo.
Did I mention there's a goose in there? He acts as the guide for our protagonist Jan Zuska who is in charge of disposing the nakedly insane Rohan and his cadre of naked followers, leading Jan Zuska down the roads of Creation to Paradise. Without the Goose, Jan Zuska would have fallen victim to the fake Sun that Rohan becomes. And when Jan Zuska gets greedy and wants to take a look at the Origin of Creation, Goose is all "told you so, bitch" when Chaos forms in Jan Zuska's one good eye, causing him to be blind. I love me some ducks and gooses.
Then comes Anders Nilsen On Whaling. Two pages and your weak ass humor is lost on all of us. Sorry, bro, but this fish ain't biting.
J. Bennet's Roll of Film is decent, however I feel that I must be some kind of photograph taking artiste in order for me say "oh, man, I know this guy or girl that is totally like that, taking pictures of every mundane thing they see with the hopes of adding some level of importance to their miserable little lifes, unlike myself who only takes tasteful nudes." That or you're the person saying "Fuck you, J. Bennett, you hack" because he called you out. I'm really neither, but I get it enough to appreciate what he's getting at.
And then comes Cher Shimura from R. Kikuo Johnson(of Nightfisher infamy) which really is the best of the whole book. Six 4 to 5 panel strips detailing the non-existing love life of Cher Shimura as she nervously goes from hopelessly in love to heartbreak in the span of seconds, all unbeknownest to her object of desire. There's really not much to say about it other than its a very simple collection of strips that really made me laugh, especially when Cher mocks the object of desire's girlfriend.
"'I love Grapes.' -Ha ha!- Slut."
You have to read it, I guess.
Overpeck, part 3, by David Healey starts to go down the idiotic path of nonsense of Martin Cendreda's Matthew And Buster with two juvenile boys playing with their juvenile toys and what not. One of them eventually calls the other a "faggot" for crossing some kind of imaginary Maginot line of young boy masculinity and ho hum, boring. Only when the "faggot" is kidnapped by some old lady that can turn into a wolf, does the jewel of the story show itself. Thrown into the machinations of the old lady's mind, the history of her sexual abuse and subsequent perversion comes out as a means of justifying her reasons for kidnapping the little boy. It entertains in the way that Gummo entertains. Its scary because Healey's talking some real life messed up stuff. However, that ends very quickly and we're back to nonsense involving naked girls, weird crippled shut in boys, and, uh.....stuff. Its only part 3, so maybe we're getting somewhere that will help us make sense of the rest of this mess.
Odd Petal Out. Kurt Wolfgang captures that 15 year old burgeoning romance like zang. The art's good and the crack about older kids dissing on the younger kids' taste in music is standard issue experience in the life of little punk/indie rock kids growing up. No would-be elitist snob should be without it.
We'll also include Wolfgang's one page Toughskins '77 strip, which basically cements the fact that Wolfgang pretty much has that whole growing up thing nailed down. Kids crying about stuff can always be solved by blowing things up. Yep.
I haven't read the interview with Kurt Wolfgang, but I'm sure its good.
The rest of MOME 3: Winter 2006 just kind of ho hum's its way to finish. Capt. Ayres is historically comics for historical folks. Interesting. Mike's Cafe is excessive auto bio stuff that I'm ok without. And Jeffrey Brown? More of the same, just worst. Sorry, but that's how I feel.
And that's MOME 3: Winter 2006!
*round of applause*
Thursday, July 06, 2006
You should read yourself some Dragon Head. I know, you're saying something to yourself along the lines of why I'm blogging about comics and not blogging about the sand in my vagina. Don't worry, you're not too far off. This isn't comics. This is MANGA, which according to this guy, are NOT comics. They ain't even comics-lite.However, that ain't the point, son. I'm talking about Dragon Head. What is Dragon Head? Considering this is Japanese manga and all the things that come to mind when you put the two words, "Dragon" and "Head" together, its safe to say that you're already going to click over to one of the other 6 Marvel blogs. But wait! We're not talking fantasy yaoi porn manga! We're talking Lord Of The Flies mania with a little bit of that good stuff that made us all feel like suckers when they dropped the second season of Lost. Yes, that's right. Mystery! Horror! Teenage kids fighting each other while wearing derivative face paint! A school trip that goes horribly wrong when the railway that their class is riding in just happens to be going through a tunnel when an earthquake hits! Was it just an earthquake....or something far more sinister? Having just finished the 3rd volume today, I'm giving you all the okay to buy it.
And buy me the DVD while you're at it. I was in blogging hibernation when the b-day dropped so I thought it would make sense for you guys to use this opportunity to make up for it.
Built To Spill was great last night. They didn't play "Reasons" but I forgave them because they started the show off with "Car" all guitarlapella. That's when the singer gets up there with a guitar and just sings by himself, basking in one light while the rest of band chills. You think to yourself, "ok, the band is going to come in when the chorus hits" only you find you're at the end of the song, the rest of the band was no where to be heard, and that tear going down your cheek has officially confirmed that you're a colossal size douche. Guitarlapella will get you everytime.
This goes to Mark Fossen over at Focused Totality. VintageComputing.com is a video game site that focuses on the games when they were simpler, and yes, sometimes better. Why do we still hold a torch for those days of 8 bit yore? Most have been the advertising. If I remember correctly, Mark's a video game nerd, so I thought of him when I came across this site recently. Then again, I may be totally wrong, so.....
Civil War Spoilerz!
That's not Thor, but a clone created using Thor's DNA, equipped with cybernetic parts and stuff.
That's all.
Wednesday, July 05, 2006
I am a horrible comic book fan. Yes, yes, I know you know this, but after spending the past 2 working days catching up on all my comic blog reading, I feel like I dropped the ball. No, that is an under statement. The coach won't even put me in.
Sure, I missed out on the new Batwoman's big reveal. There was plenty of "Bat-cave" jokes that could have been made, but we really don't need all that. Civil War EXPLODED in our faces, ripping off Spider-man's mask along the way. Considering that I had prior knowledge of that whole she-bang, the best I did with it was ruin a bunch of message boarders' lives when I spoiled it for them. The New Warriors DIED and I wasn't even there to spill a forty out for them. The third X-men movie came out and I couldn't even find the time to say yes, this is what I'm talking about, give me more cheesy good comic book movies like this. And I was unemployed for 2 months!
And now, as I bounce around to and fro, starting at 2 Guys Buying Comics and going all the way to Ye Olde Comic Booke Blogge, its been brought to my attention that this blog is missing something very, very, very, very important: A Superman Returns review. Its like buying comics and not bagging them, ie, sacrilege. I believe that such concepts as the capital punishment and losing your car keys were summoned into existence as a way of learning your lesson for such crimes against humanity. Believe you me, I had every chance to get a review and get it done right. I was invited to see the movie not on opening night, BUT THE NIGHT BEFORE! BY MY COMIC SHOP!!! SITTING IN THE SAME THEATER WITH MARK WAID!!!! I'm not even Newsarama-league material, either! Wednesday fucking morning when you're Fandango-ing your tickets, I, Spencer D. Carnage, could have one upped the whole lot of yous! I could have spoiled the whole damn thing! Or even better, I could have lied, lied, lied about what happens and you would have loved it because its me! Right?
"Wait a minute, Mr. Spencer. You mean......you didn't go see before opening night with Mark Waid?"
I didn't say I could have seen it WITH Mark Waid, just seen it in the same theater, which is technically the same thing. But yes, I didn't go. Why? Because I was studying. Did I at least see it opening weekend? Nope. Not even when my friends who did go and see it, told me how wicked awesome heart wrenching misty eyed inducingly great it was, I haven't gone yet.
I don't know what I'm getting at, really, but for some reason, I felt like I need to exhibit some kind of relevancy at this point, even if it is to spout off about how irrelevant I am. Sorry, my comic book loving friends. I let all of you down.
But Built To Spill? Tonight at the sold out show at the Troubadour? Wouldn't miss that shit for anything in the world, my friends.
Sure, I missed out on the new Batwoman's big reveal. There was plenty of "Bat-cave" jokes that could have been made, but we really don't need all that. Civil War EXPLODED in our faces, ripping off Spider-man's mask along the way. Considering that I had prior knowledge of that whole she-bang, the best I did with it was ruin a bunch of message boarders' lives when I spoiled it for them. The New Warriors DIED and I wasn't even there to spill a forty out for them. The third X-men movie came out and I couldn't even find the time to say yes, this is what I'm talking about, give me more cheesy good comic book movies like this. And I was unemployed for 2 months!
And now, as I bounce around to and fro, starting at 2 Guys Buying Comics and going all the way to Ye Olde Comic Booke Blogge, its been brought to my attention that this blog is missing something very, very, very, very important: A Superman Returns review. Its like buying comics and not bagging them, ie, sacrilege. I believe that such concepts as the capital punishment and losing your car keys were summoned into existence as a way of learning your lesson for such crimes against humanity. Believe you me, I had every chance to get a review and get it done right. I was invited to see the movie not on opening night, BUT THE NIGHT BEFORE! BY MY COMIC SHOP!!! SITTING IN THE SAME THEATER WITH MARK WAID!!!! I'm not even Newsarama-league material, either! Wednesday fucking morning when you're Fandango-ing your tickets, I, Spencer D. Carnage, could have one upped the whole lot of yous! I could have spoiled the whole damn thing! Or even better, I could have lied, lied, lied about what happens and you would have loved it because its me! Right?
"Wait a minute, Mr. Spencer. You mean......you didn't go see before opening night with Mark Waid?"
I didn't say I could have seen it WITH Mark Waid, just seen it in the same theater, which is technically the same thing. But yes, I didn't go. Why? Because I was studying. Did I at least see it opening weekend? Nope. Not even when my friends who did go and see it, told me how wicked awesome heart wrenching misty eyed inducingly great it was, I haven't gone yet.
I don't know what I'm getting at, really, but for some reason, I felt like I need to exhibit some kind of relevancy at this point, even if it is to spout off about how irrelevant I am. Sorry, my comic book loving friends. I let all of you down.
But Built To Spill? Tonight at the sold out show at the Troubadour? Wouldn't miss that shit for anything in the world, my friends.
Tuesday, June 06, 2006
What is it that can possibly bring Spencer D. Carnage out of his blogging abstinance? The Goddamn Graeme McMillan. Of course there was the review stuff he did over at The Savage Critic, it just wasn't as scathing enough para mi. Now that he's at Newsarama, I'm sure it'll still be mild, but with enough gossipy goodness to tide me over.
Hells to y-eah.
Hells to y-eah.
Thursday, April 13, 2006
Real quick note to 2 Guys Buying Comics. And please forgive me, but I'm way overworked at this point to differentiate between who posts what, so I'll just refer to you in singular form as 2 Guy Buying Comics. I have some good news.... and I have some bad news.
The good news:
I bought the 4th Invincible Trade. After standing around the comic shop for 45 minutes, I couldn't find a damn thing to buy. Then I remembered that post about that panel from Invincible where him and his dad are fighting those alien guys from their home planet. All of a sudden, I'm buying an Invincible trade. I've read the first three, and although good, they didn't quite do it for me. Well, now I'm ready.
The bad news:
I found out what happens to Thor. I don't think you're going to be happy one bit. And Sue and Reed, well...... Marvel is going to change EVERYTHING. Other than that, I'm sworn to secrecy.
Before I wrap this up, I just want to mention that the fine folks over at 2 Guys Buying Comics started a nice little meme that involved your first comic. Me, being the lazy asshole that I am, I didn't participate. Before we go any further, it was a G.I. Joe comic. My friend's little brother couldn't read, so asked me to read it to him. At the tender young age of eight, I was madly in love with Scarlet, so it only made since to start following her exploits in the comic book form. My proper introduction into the Marvel U started with my friend at school asking me to pick up the newest issue of Punisher War Journal. Which issue was it, you ask?
Yep. Punisher War Journal # 19. The rest was history.
The good news:
I bought the 4th Invincible Trade. After standing around the comic shop for 45 minutes, I couldn't find a damn thing to buy. Then I remembered that post about that panel from Invincible where him and his dad are fighting those alien guys from their home planet. All of a sudden, I'm buying an Invincible trade. I've read the first three, and although good, they didn't quite do it for me. Well, now I'm ready.
The bad news:
I found out what happens to Thor. I don't think you're going to be happy one bit. And Sue and Reed, well...... Marvel is going to change EVERYTHING. Other than that, I'm sworn to secrecy.
Before I wrap this up, I just want to mention that the fine folks over at 2 Guys Buying Comics started a nice little meme that involved your first comic. Me, being the lazy asshole that I am, I didn't participate. Before we go any further, it was a G.I. Joe comic. My friend's little brother couldn't read, so asked me to read it to him. At the tender young age of eight, I was madly in love with Scarlet, so it only made since to start following her exploits in the comic book form. My proper introduction into the Marvel U started with my friend at school asking me to pick up the newest issue of Punisher War Journal. Which issue was it, you ask?
Yep. Punisher War Journal # 19. The rest was history.
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