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Thursday, November 17, 2005

Now that I joined the Legion of the Undead

In other words, I have become unemployed, here's a quick list of things I need to do:

  • Learn how to sustain myself on the brain of others. Start with the dogs first, the roommate next, then move to The Girlfriend and The Band.

  • Get a new wardrobe. Polyster pants and Cowboy shirts don't really fit the whole "disheveled zombie glam" look.

  • Get in shape. All that aimless, roaming to and fro can take its toll on you.

  • Get a pair of nice walking shoes.

  • Stop showering completely. You can't smell like a graveyard has popped up in your nether regions when you're washing yourself with Axe body wash.

  • Stop cleaning my room.

  • Start smoking in bed.

  • Get in good with the locals at the bar down the street. Drinking during the day is way more fun when you have some other jobless schmuck to do it with.

  • Update the blog more.

  • Stay away from those with the ability to control the undead. Don't need to get caught up with any crazy causes.

Wish me luck!


Tony said...

I'm so fucking sorry dude. If there's anything I can do, let me know.

Mark Fossen said...

That's bad news, Spencer.

On the plus side, though, are the brains. So you got that goin' fer ya.

Spencer Carnage said...

Ditch the wifey and run to mexico with me and the baby. It could be so magical and right. Just you, riley, and me, all in the BangFocus, with the Stereophonics "Dakota" playing as we head into a uncertain future...

Spencer Carnage said...

Thanks, Mark. Its a bitch, but what can you do. Give it a week or so and I'll be right back in a cubicle, shirking responsibility for as long as humanly possible.

Tony said...

Just as long as you understant that you're Louise. I'm Thelma bitch.

Spencer Carnage said...

No way! I'm Brad Pitt.