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Thursday, November 17, 2005

Marvel Feb Solicits

Well the Marvel solicitations for February are up over at Newsarama.com so I figured....what the hell. Let's take a look.

Slott, Bobillo, and Horn has successfully kept up the tradition of having She-Hulk break through the fourth wall by giving me a boner.

I have no idea what's going here, but it appears that Daredevil is not above manipulating confused girls into giving him oral sex and the Vision is into weird cosplay girls that have funny looking boobs.

Considering the high amount of tentacle-themed covers we have coming up in February, I think Marvel has decided it is a safe time into tap some of that Manga market and release a hentai styled Max comic staring Doc Ock and Jessica Jones by May or June. July at the latest.

Nothing sarcastic here, just a kick ass cover.

More non-sarcasm. Is that not fucking awesome or what?

"Can I trade you my Mike Allred Doctor Strange and Mr. Sensitive for your Cheerleader Slut Mary Jane with Stomach pump? Pretty please?"

Big Boobs? Check. Complicated and confusing back story with major changes that never stuck? Check. Female super hero character that's been around forever, but no one is really into? Check. Yep. Looks like Marvel has found their Power Girl.

Ghost Rider's got some crazy huge flaming microphone. Does he do Karaoke or something? Knowing him, he'll probably do something easy like "Sweet Caroline." What a puss.

Ha ha. Spider-man caught you filling out an online dating ad. You nerd.

"Dude! I got the best idea EVER for a comic book. Apocalypse. From the X-men comics. Against Dracul-, no wait, that's a stupid idea."

Well, at least I'll have a nice looking Jae Lee cover to look at when I pass this book up at the comic shop in February.

"I'm sorry to say, Mr. Apocalypse, but the surgery was unsuccessful. You're still a lame ass X-men villian. Please forgive us."

Some Bendis-related photoshop fun..

Its funny because its true!

Don't tell me you weren't thinking the same thing when you saw it at Newsarama.


Chris said...

I am buying NextWave solely on the basis of that cover and the slogan:

"Nextwave gets their lovin' from your mama!"

Tell me this isn't right up Ellis' alley.

Earth-2 Leigh said...

Ghost Rider should do Total Eclipse of the Heart, if only because I've never been drunk enough to do it myself.

Tony said...

I think Ghost Rider would bust out with some obscure Foreigner songs that would confuse and bore the whole bar.

Spencer Carnage said...

Fuck you, Tony.

Tony said...

Dude! What's wrong? You've become Cold as Ice.

Spencer Carnage said...

Go update your crappy "diary" already!

Tony said...

It's hard. Everytime I try it feels like the first time.

Jog said...

Miniature porno cheerleader Mary Jane better be careful... I think Spidey is mulling over whether to smother her with a blanket or hit her with a baking tray.

Yeah, no clue what's going on with that cover... kind of half-interested with the romance books though...

Spencer Carnage said...

kind of half-interested with the romance books though...

I think its safe to say that you have no soul, Jog.